Hi Jon. My heart goes out to you and your family for the pain you are suffering. I have heard it said that some people who have been in a relationship from a young age need to have a ‘fling’ at some stage, almost as if that’s an essential stage of their development. But how painful and damaging is this for everyone affected! If you can bear it, and if you still want your relationship to work, I think it’s probably worth hanging on in there to see if she comes out of the other side. She may see sense and want her happy life back, but it’s a bit of a gamble, isn’t it? If you do get the chance though, can you see the trust being restored? Fingers crossed it will work out, Jon. Best of luck to you and your family xx

Whatever you do, don’t let others change you. I believe nice people can be misunderstood, and I suspect some are ‘spooked’ by kindness, as if it’s a quality they can’t process. Just be you is my advice, and if some can’t deal with it, then it’s definitely their loss.

I did an awful lot of online dating until I met my husband. My advice would be to choose a decent provider. The free and cheap ones are exploited by all manner of people, whereas if you splash out a bit on one of the reputable sites, you generally find genuine, quality matches. I recommend ‘eharmony’ without hesitation.

Hi there. I understand how you feel, but I would give it time to make your decision. You’re still feeling the buzz of the great holiday, and that’s not the best place to be in to make a rational decision. I would also like to add that, if you do make the move, and things don’t turn out the way you expect, you will really feel the loss of the house and environment you presently treasure. It would be such a shame to have to move yet again, and very upsetting. I hope you make the right decision x

Hi. Yes – I do happen to know a very good, trustworthy financial advisor whom I can wholeheartedly recommend. Myself and members of my family have successfully used this firm many times over the past 25 years. They are PF Financial in Chesham, Bucks. Ask for Jed Elverson. Telephone – 01494 801245. Best of luck

My Cavalier frequently suffers from sticky eyes. My vet surgery told me to bathe them with salt water, which I do most days, and it really helps. Don’t know whether it might help with staining?

Personally, I can’t understand how anybody could fail to love animals – they offer unconditional love and excellent companionship, without the complications involved in human relationships. I couldn’t live without a dog now – they are so spiritual, and very good for your health.

I have always struggled with my weight, then when I hit menopause it got even harder. I consulted my surgery for advice, then asked to be referred to endocrinology, as nothing was working for me. I followed some excellent advice given there, but alas, no weight loss still. Then – I bought the Dr Michael Moseley 5:2 diet book, and there was no looking back. This is the only diet that worked for me, and is one I will stick to for the rest of my days. My husband and I now fast every 4th day, and we have both lost weight and kept it off. Everyone has commented on our new figures! Would highly recommend.

I am so sorry to hear your painful story. I know it is devastating. If you like animals, I would recommend getting a little dog. I find it so much easier to talk to people I meet when dog walking – it seems to come naturally. Wishing you all the best in the future – things will get better! xx

A dog really is “Man’s best friend”! xx

This really resonates with me. Thank you

Greenlady, I am sorry to hear how ungrateful your sons are after all your efforts. Values have certainly changed in their generation, and they do not appreciate what has been done for them as we did. It is unbelievably frustrating. Don’t regret doing the right thing for them though. Personally, I could not live with myself if I had been the one to walk away x

I have found that no matter what you do it is never enough. Their generation’s outlook has changed dramatically, taking on a “me, me, me” attitude which is hard for us to comprehend. I am concluding that you can only do your best for them, then the rest is up to them.

It’s easy to make vol-au-vents using frozen pastry cases, so you don’t have to go without!

A clever way of making a very profound statement!

I love all this stuff, so I would do either or both. Better to have company though! I’m a bit of a scaredy cat!

Agreed, this baffles me too. I think I would be more attracted to the food if it resembled fruit or veg rather than meat

I had a bad reaction to my first Astra Zenica shot – very tired and out of sorts for about a week, plus a very painful arm – but no reaction to the second shot

Yes, completely. I have no doubts at all that the spirit world is alive and kicking!

Absolutely. I had reservations from the start with one relationship, and ignored that to my detriment. Worst mistake I ever made. Follow your heart. EHarmony is great – worked for me.

Gerard, you sound like I used to be – my advice would be to not overthink the situation, as I have found that doesn’t serve any purpose in the end. What worked for me, after many, many years of looking, was to keep in my head a short list of unacceptable traits/qualities/attributes about whomever I would meet, then remained determined to stick to that and not have my heart swayed by whatever. I do think you need to be prepared to be more tolerant of a partner as we get older, but the unacceptable should remain unacceptable when choosing a partner. It does sound to me as though you should be with someone and not accept being single. Keep looking and hang on to your ‘perfect partner checklist’. Good luck

Agree with this, Lindsay

Beautiful! xx

Such a cutie! x

How old is your son, Shallom? What does he feel about what is going on?

OK. My initial advice would be to go see a solicitor on the basis of a free consultation to gather some useful facts about your situation. It may be that you can resolve all this without using a solicitor, but only that legal consultation will arm you with the right information. Is there any chance of having a reasonable conversation with your ex partner to see if he is amenable to reaching an agreement that suits you both without resorting to ‘mud-slinging’ tactics? If you can persuade him to part amicably you can possibly settle this without going to court or using a solicitor xx

So sorry for what you are going through Shallom. I remember how awful I used to feel. There is light at the end of the tunnel for you, as you are clearly a nice person, so just hang on in there. Have either of you issued divorce proceedings yet?

In my case, he was divorcing me, so he made a case that I should pay the court costs, but our respective solicitors quickly agreed that the court costs should be shared, as far as I recall. So your solicitor’s fees are what will add up the most. Mine turned out to be horrible and persecuted me as much as my ex! So make sure you find one on recommendation, who is good at their job, and someone who has a conscience if possible! Do you want any help with this, as I am quite good at this stuff? It sounds as though you should both receive half of the proceeds of sale of the house, which keeps things more simple than mine was, as I owned more than half. Your situation there sounds diabolical, but try to hang on if possible. I wouldn’t move out of the house in case he then refuses to move out and blocks the sale. I don’t want to stress you out more, just trying to help you avoid any pitfalls. Please let me know if I can help further in any way – I know how awful this can be, and you feel so isolated xxx

It is really hard to predict what costs will be, because it really does depend on how difficult he is going to be. I think my costs amounted to around £9k in 2010, but this was on the basis that we settled after just the preliminary court hearing. Don’t forget, he presumably won’t want to fork out unnecessarily either, so it may be easier than you think down the line. Do as much as you can yourself outside of solicitors and courts. Are you joint tenants or tenants in common?

It’s true that they gain more insight into what you did for them once they take on the struggles first-hand.