Home Forums Loneliness What if a lack of money causes loneliness??

  • What if a lack of money causes loneliness??

    So many suggestions to cure loneliness involve money. Be it joining meet up group ect pre covid. What if a person however does not have money to join activities? Or suffers with social anxiety too. At the moment not much is happening or what is available is on zoom only. Some would not be able to cope with zoom l can’t. Befor covid l was isolated  so loneliness is nothing new. I am lonely for people on my wavelength who share my interests. Before covid l went to Christian meetings and often felt very alone with everyone else chatting quite happily. I joined a local vegan group but it was all eating out and I couldn’t afford  the cost to get there or the meal. I wish people realised how expensive some of the things they suggest are.

    Posted by Vervain
    • Reply by Christopher Leslie

      At the moment with a number of us living on our own and shielding loneliness is part of life. Yes we have the telephone and/or the Internet but that is a poor replacement for face to face Company. Visiting or being visited by others is not an option. This is not going to end on Dec 2nd it includes the whole Christmas period. Which can be a depressing time anyway. For me I’m going to ignor Christmas this year just treat it as a normal day In shielding. So it’s walks with the dog and housework and an early night on new year’s eve. Has anybody else got plans or ideas for a shielded Christmas?

    • Reply by KayDanceStyleSparkle

      Hello there!

      I hope everyone is well.

      This conversation thread makes very interesting reading for me.  I see that volunteering is mentioned, money (including lack of) and the Zoom platform.

      Maybe I can contribute to all those, and right here!  I have very recently volunteered on the “rest less” community to offer dance classes, free of charge, on Zoom.  I know Zoom isn’t an attractive option for some people, but speaking as something of a technophobe who had never even heard of Zoom before March this year, I would say persevere.  It might be the next best thing in terms of meeting people and making friends for a long time to come.

      In order to keep the participants of my little keep fit and dance classes together, amidst many tears and tantrums I eventually got the hang of hosting and delivering my classes on Zoom.  We had a lot of fun learning how to use it together, and we are still having a good giggle when things don’t go quite to plan.

      I and a few members of the “rest less” community got together on Zoom last Wednesday afternoon for an introductory meeting about dance classes.  I am delighted to say that it looks as though our “Strictly Come Rest Less Dancing” group might be meeting regularly for a boogie, for fun and for friendship.  I am just collecting the health and safety information, then we’ll be on our feet dancing short, easy to follow routines based on beautiful dances from all over the world – Salsa, Bollywood, Tango, Bachata, Waltz, Paso Doble, Cha-Cha-Cha, Brazilian Zouk and lots more.  One of my latest creations is a sassy little number called “Latin Lockdown”, and I’m working on another called “Corona Calypso”.

      So, lovely “rest less” people, you CAN still do things without spending a lot of money (it costs nothing to join our “rest less” Zoom class).  You can dance just for fun, you can enjoy moving to a huge variety of catchy tunes and you can make friends you would never have made if it hadn’t been for Covid-19.

      What to lose?

      Fantastic way of improving and maintaining fitness!

    • Reply by Spanglydangly Jane

      What this post implies is that only poor people are lonely and that could not be further from the truth. Lack of money might be a contributing factor for some people but it really does not apply to many many people. I think a lot of people confuse loneliness with boredom. But that is just my personal opinion of course, born out of experience.

      • Reply by Vervain

        Thanks for your reply l most certainly do not think the poor have a monopoly on loneliness. However for me being unable to partake in many social activities leads me to feeling lonely. I am aware that people who have money can be as lonley and that it’s not a cure all. In my case though a little more money would help a lot. This post is my personal experience l cannot speak  for others. I also suffer with social anxiety another contributing factor.

    • Reply by Angie…141258
      1. Hello all I have read most of the messages concerning the loneliness in our lives and not always having the money to go places. I have done voluntary work for quite some years now. People always asked me why do this for free I said because I hate being at home alone and sad. I also said I do this because it gets me out of the house, meeting new people, and sharing our work load. Being a volunteer means that I can do as many hours as I like it as many days I would like. The cost of bus fare is to pay the cost keep your bus ticket and hand it in to the manager once it’s sent to main head office you got refunded.so all I all it didn’t cost me anything really. I have the best days in my life only to feel that I am contributing toward the cause of cancer. There is quite a few things out there that you can do. To feel connected with others.
    • Reply by Kerry9

      Thank you for highlighting this.  I had begun to feel very lonely since my boys left home.  I don’t want to burden them with my feelings as they have their own lives and visit and FaceTime as often as they can.

       

      i do have a lovely dog that keeps me company but I do crave human interaction.  Before the lockdowns I looked at lots of options like meet up groups and went a few times but just couldn’t afford the meals out, theatre tickets, coffee shop outings etc.

      i also tried Yoga which I enjoyed in the free trial but the weekly fees were out of my price bracket.  A lot of people have suggested you tube but again that is something you do alone in your house.

      i do enjoy various crafts and again that is something I have done for several years alone as there don’t seem to be any local groups that run in the evenings when I’m not working.

      it feels like a vicious cycle which is obviously worse with the lockdowns.

       

       

      • Reply by Didona

        Very true

      • Reply by Vervain

        Yes l understand about how hard it is. Strangely lack of money is not included in the causes of loneliness. I have a dog too she is my sole real companion.

    • Reply by Christopher Leslie

      . I too tried volunteering but had to stop because of travel costs. I just couldn’t afford the 20 mile a day round trip and once there you were expected to buy raffle tickets merchandise etc

      • Reply by andrewjb

        HI Christopher, what volunteering were you involved with, time is the greatest commodity that you have and the greatest in demand. If they demand money their motives are questionable. I would welcome you in for you, as long as you get something out of it we all win.

         

        • Reply by Christopher Leslie

          It was my local hospice their motivation is money they increased their retail paid employees (management) at the expense of closing beds. It wasn’t a demand more an expectation. A sort of why won’t you contribute previously I was at my local museum which was completely different. Time was the greatest contribution. Unfortunately the museum closed in order to move. 3 years on the venue is ready but its not reopened yet

      • Reply by Vervain

        Yes l have experienced that too.

    • Reply by Spanglydangly Jane

      Its not the case for me. Im not rich by any means but Im comfortably well off and loneliness is a big problem for me. I think it’s just circumstances, whatever they may be, not just one thing.

      • Reply by Christopher Leslie

        Yes circumstances play a big part but in order to change that requires some spending for clubs going out etc.

        • Reply by Spanglydangly Jane

          Going out and being with people doesnt always cure loneliness. Sometimes it can add to it. All the clubs I go to are free btw. Love and affection, friendship and companionship are major factors in solving loneliness. But that is just my opinion. Everybody is different and different people have different needs. Plenty of rich people suffer from loneliness.

        • Reply by Christopher Leslie

          You are very lucky here they either cost of meet in a pub so either way it costs. In my case my loneliness is down to the pandemic as a shielder I have had no human contact since March which I understand but doesn’t help

        • Reply by Spanglydangly Jane

          I suppose it depends what sort of clubs you go to. Obviously going to the pub costs money but I know of a book club, and a social club and a friendship club, none of them cost any money. They havnt happened during lockdown obviously. I have been isolating since March too. On your own it is extremely difficult and can cause mental illness in the way of anxiety and depression, which I think 1000s of people are suffering from at the moment., including myself. Knowing Im not the only one in that boat doesn’t make it any the less difficult though, sadly. I expect it’s the same for you.

        • Reply by Christopher Leslie

          The friendship club meets at the local pub the only other local group is the memory Cafe and I don’t have that problem yet. But it is what it is no point in getting anxious about it. we just have to survive until this thing is kicked into touch. Hopefully by Christmas 2021

        • Reply by Spanglydangly Jane

          Absolutely right. There really isnt any alternative is there.

          Have you looked at clubs organised by your local church or council.

          There is a camera club in my village. There is no fee just 50p for a cup of tea and a biscuit which you only have if you want it. They have lectures and slide shows every so often that there is usually a small charge for – £2 each. But if you dont want to go you dont have to. They do day trips too for £10 per person but, once again you dont have to go. You can just attend the free monthly meetings and socialise there if you cant afford the other stuff  If you own a small digital camera its a great way to make friends and develop a hobby which also doesn’t cost any money. Of course you have to have the courage to go to these things on your own, which a lot of people dont have, so, in some cases, having clubs to go to doesnt help either. Every lonely person has their own particular reason for their loneliness.

          (If these reply boxes get any smaller I wont be able to see whats written. Ha ha)

          Take care, stay well if you can.

      • Reply by Vervain

        For me it’s not money only as you will have read in my post. It is however for me a major contributing factor.

    • Reply by ls2116

      I am glad you have highlighted how the lack of money can cause loneliness. I’ve looked at different local groups to take part in the activities. Going out for a meal is one you mentioned, you have the cost of the meal and then there is the travel there and back. I am a non-driver and although we have good public transport locally, it can be expensive.

      As for platforms like Zoom I am only just venturing into  it and each time do get quite anxious when I do. It is becoming easier each time but still it can be nerve-racking. The hardest part for me is joining, I am like am I going to join, then I join and it is oh good I managed it this time! I do it because for me it is a way of meeting people even though it is virtually.

      Not all of us have plenty of excess money around after our expenses like housing, utilities, food. Once upon a time I considered internet access a luxury, now it is a necessity. Yes it does cost money, but for me being able to access forums like this does help with loneliness. I work at home so don’t get to meet many people and that was before Covid. One of my sons lives with me but he has his own world, albeit like many of us, a virtual one. I am glad he is here, but he has his world and I have mine.

      You have given me something to think about, how to break the cycle of loneliness without it involving a lot of money. Thank you once again for highlighting this subject. Leigh

      • Reply by Vervain

        A lot of what you say l too experience being anxious really does make a difficult situation more so. As l know only too well.

    • Reply by Christopher Leslie

      You are so right there is little out there that doesn’t cost money. Even having to stay at home you need to spend something in order to keep yourself occupied. For me the only way out is to work but being one of the many who have to shield that’s out of the question as well. So yes to stop loneliness you need some spare cash

    • Reply by Marion Edwards CTC

      Hello, what a thought provoking comment.

      It is interesting that our default position may be to try to spend our way out of something. My only thought is volunteering, but from experience that can actually end up being expensive because of travel etc.

      Thank you for highlighting this. You have certainly made me stop and think.

      • Reply by ls2116

        You raise an interesting point about volunteering. My parents were involved in our local Lions International Club. As a service organisation they did a lot of good work for the local community, however it did cost the members quite a bit of money. There were the tickets for the fundraising events, travelling to them and so on.

        My parents enjoyed and were in a position to be able to afford to be a part of the group, however over the years I knew of several members who had to drop their membership due to financial reasons. They had the time, but they didn’t have the money. It is something that I wouldn’t have considered if my dad hadn’t been a volunteer in a service organisation.

        • Reply by Marion Edwards CTC

          You have made me think about how much my Mum invested in Girl Guiding over the years. Raffle prizes was a big one. In the end I used to go to charity shops for her and get the unwanted Christmas gifts. We felt it was a win win situation. Now I wonder how many people stop going to things because of the hidden cost.

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