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Rachelreflex Posted 11 months ago
What are your top 5 rules for life?

Inspired by Helen Mirren’s ‘Top 5 Rules for a Happy Life’ (my favourite being ‘don’t dive into water until you know how deep it is’) I asked some friends for their top 5 rules … and was blown away by their thoughtfulness and wisdom. So I thought I’d ask it here. What are your top 5 Rules for Life? If it resonates, I’ll add them to my rapidly expanding list!

Ps. I’ve edited this to remove the word ‘happy’ as I feel it opens it up a bit more to all the wisdom out there

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3 likes & 71 replies
    • Vixster 4th March 2021 at 12:13 pm

      I can’t say I’ve ever thought about this before but I’ll give it a go! For me, I like to keep busy (preferably through paid work but if that’s not available, then voluntary work); I love travelling to different places; I’m not keen on exercising per se but do enjoy walking especially where there’s lots of trees; I lose myself reading and finally, these lockdowns have taught me that whilst I’m not big on socialising, I do enjoy the company of other people from time to time! I don’t think happiness is a permanent thing but something we achieve sometimes.

      Reply
    • Vixxen 4th March 2021 at 12:16 pm

      Hi Rachel, happiness comes and goes and is dependant upon our circumstances and way of life. We cannot know true happiness unless we have experienced the opposite.
      I have seen happiness in the most bleakest of places and extreme unhappiness in environments you would least expect it.
      Happiness is subjective but for me it revolves around relationships – family and friends. Doing some of what you enjoy. Being grateful for life. Helping others and being kind. Embracing change and accepting what is.

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    • Carol.L 4th March 2021 at 12:29 pm

      My number one rule is to think of 3 things I am grateful for every morning even if it’s only the fact that I’m still alive and kicking1! I’ve found that counting my blessings, especially in our current difficult times makes me realise how lucky I am and helps me appreciate the important little things in life. Oh, and happiness can only come from within, don’t rely on other people to make you happy!

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    • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 12:35 pm

      You’re right about happiness. I’ve edited the post as I think the word ‘happy’ distracted from the essence of the message which was about sharing what we’ve learned about life.
      ‘Embracing change and accepting what is’ has been such a challenge for me … but a very necessary rule for contentment.
      Thank you for your contribution.

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    • NeilP 4th March 2021 at 12:49 pm

      Welcome each day, think of at least one happy thought, be kind , Embrace the things that make you happy , tea and cake.

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      • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 1:19 pm

        Tea and cake every day for you then Neil!

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        • NeilP 4th March 2021 at 5:58 pm

          I wish , although did make a boiled cake this afternoon

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        • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 8:15 pm

          Boiled? That’s interesting Hope it was delicious.

          I daren’t make any cake, or buy one, I’d only eat it!!

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        • NeilP 4th March 2021 at 8:25 pm

          Mary Berry recipie. , it turned out well. Very nice. I’ll
          Have to ration myself to one piece a day.

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        • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 8:27 pm

          Or freeze it in slices which is what I have to do to ensure I stick to one slice a day! .. Well done. Have you always been a bit of a cook/baker, or is it an acquired skill in recent years?

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        • NeilP 4th March 2021 at 9:44 pm

          I’ve only just started baking. My wife used to do a lot , she passed away nearly 3 years ago. So I’ve now decided I need to do more cooking and expand my repertoire

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        • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 9:50 pm

          Good for you I say!! It’s great that you are tackling Mary Berry. Bake off next then!! I reckon your wife would’ve be proud of you Neil! But what do I know. Just a vibe!!!

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        • NeilP 4th March 2021 at 10:03 pm

          I think she would be 😀😀

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        • anniep 7th March 2021 at 3:31 pm

          I always boil my fruit cake. I lived in south africa and it was a popular recipe. No sugar replaced by condensed milk. Goes down a treat.

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    • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 12:54 pm

      I love the way that you incorporated two Important things into one to keep to five things. tea AND cake!

      Reply
    • Carol.L 4th March 2021 at 12:55 pm

      Oh yes, tea and cake always make things better!

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    • Deleted User 4th March 2021 at 1:00 pm

      Get a dog. Or preferably two. In my case three. They keep me positive and are always doing funny things to make me laugh. Its difficult not to feel happy with them around.

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    • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 1:14 pm

      Well I could probably go for more than 5, but here we go (in no order):
      – Look for the positives and ignore the negatives
      – No-one deliberately sets out to hurt any of us, they just make mistakes sometimes
      – Laugh often
      – Be careful what I say about others as most likely I should be saying it of myself
      – Love, like or avoid – just don’t hate

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      • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 1:19 pm

        Well done for limiting it to 5! I find that when I start I just can’t stop. I’m loving everyone’s responses. I’m going to get one of those big kitchen rolls of paper (like they used to have in butchers in the old days) to write them all down because they’re all so good! I particularly need reminding of no 4 …. thank you.

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        • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 1:22 pm

          No 4 is one that I have particularly learnt of we humans (and myself) over the last couple of years. Any observation we make about others is a reflection of ourselves (bit deep though but actually true).

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        • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 1:36 pm

          And a real game changer when you make that connection too! I’m so judgemental about people who are judgemental ….

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        • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 2:09 pm

          ha ha ha .. yes good and bad all point to ourselves in some way! lol

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    • Kitty1969 4th March 2021 at 1:23 pm

      I write down 3 things I am grateful for, every night before going to bed.

      Talk to myself how I would talk to others, so no more putting myself down.

      Stay away from idiots.

      Do little things for myself as I would for others.

      Think that’s only 4 but hard to stop at 5.

      Reply
      • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 1:35 pm

        Isn’t it strange the way we put ourselves out for others, but don’t afford ourselves the same kindness. I find it hard to catch no 2 in action! Thank you.

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      • Andy Paddles 4th March 2021 at 10:05 pm

        I think #2 is one of the most insightful things I’ve seen on this sight – the whole do unto others thing is all well and good, however far too many people are overly hard on themselves!

        A useful thought!

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    • JensW 4th March 2021 at 1:46 pm

      1. Daily gratitude.
      2. Search for the good in everything.
      3. Get outside your comfort zone.
      4. Be Kind.
      5. Know that life is not always fair.

      Reply
    • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 4:06 pm

      Thank you for sharing! There’s a deep theme emerging with a sprinkling of individual ‘extras’. You all seem to be such nice people to know if these are your rules for living.

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    • Beanoak 4th March 2021 at 4:10 pm

      I’m worried about my friends! Asked for her words of wisdom, my friend who shall remain nameless contributed “Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana”.

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    • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 4:16 pm

      That made me laugh. And then …. it’s true. Especially if you have a singular way of enjoying them!

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    • Hilary Florence 4th March 2021 at 5:57 pm

      1. Be kind, even in the face of opposition or anger.
      2. Be grateful, even when those around you seem to have everything you would love to have.
      3. Look for the good, it’s in there somewhere.
      4. Keep your own counsel, everyone doesn’t have to know everything about you. Be interested in them.
      5. Trust God – He’s far bigger and more loving than you can imagine. 😊

      Reply
      • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 11:03 pm

        I’m feeling very warm towards everyone who’s taken the time to add their thoughts. And curious to know how they arrived at their ‘rules’. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that The Restless community appear to be kind, thoughtful and optimistic

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    • Dc forever 4th March 2021 at 6:28 pm

      Yes dear, yes dear, yes dear, yes dear and finally yes dear…. 😃

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    • OutdoorPete 4th March 2021 at 7:14 pm

      I’m sure folk will have their own ideas but mine are, for what it’s worth:
      Learn to be content
      Stay curious
      Accept that there are different ways to see things
      Look forward
      Make good decisions
      But everyone has bad days…..so expect them for what they are.

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      • Gill B 4th March 2021 at 8:21 pm

        Interesting list there Outdoor Pete.. and no 3 can be a challenge for some (me included at times) ….

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      • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 10:57 pm

        I’m really loving this exercise! It’s such an interesting way to see what’s important to people. I struggle with no 5 as I can only assess these things in retrospect!

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    • lindsay 4th March 2021 at 8:03 pm

      I find it hard to be happy with the state of the world – and I don’t mean Covid. In fact I would go so far as to say that depression is a very natural state in the face of species extinction, cruelty to humans and animals, poverty, totally useless governments, especially our’s, and the big one – climate change.

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      • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 10:54 pm

        Well you sound like a very caring person. You’re right, there are a lot of challenging things happening in the world at present, but I am discovering that there are certain attitudes I can have that help me find an internal equilibrium in these very tempestuous times.

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    • ann.kingham 4th March 2021 at 8:51 pm

      Rachel I’ll work on mine & let you know, you’ve inspired me to think!! In the meantime would you be kind & share some or all of your rapidly expanding list?🙏

      Reply
    • Adeline 4th March 2021 at 9:17 pm

      I believe happiness is an inside job. I was surprised when I held a workshop on happiness, one of the participants was surprised that she had every right to be happy..
      Gratitude and kindness tops my list too. We mustn’t forget to be kind to ourselves.
      My additions – keep company with positive, cheerful people. Jim Rohan says “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
      Take time out for yourself doing what makes you smile, what reenergise you.
      Look after your physical, emotional and spiritual health.
      Live a life filled with passion and purpose 😊

      Reply
      • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 10:35 pm

        I love reading all these replies – I’m so curious to know the stories behind everyone’s list. kindness and gratitude are a recurring theme.

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    • Josie The Black Country Wench 4th March 2021 at 9:35 pm

      My 5 things would have to be love, love, love, love, love. Love yourself, love others, love life and everything else just falls into place.
      You may not always be happy but if you love (agape) without counting the cost, selflessly then you will experience happiness at some point.

      Reply
    • Rachelreflex 4th March 2021 at 10:29 pm

      Nice! It reminds me of a James Joyce quote: ‘love loves to love love’

      Reply
    • VFP 4th March 2021 at 10:47 pm

      Try to understand / learn about who you are and accept yourself.
      Strive to do better at what you want to do well.
      Focus on the things that are important to you.
      Remember that you are connected to everyone/everything and that your actions have consequences.
      Surround yourself with love.

      Reply
    • Angierae 5th March 2021 at 6:44 pm

      I remember my Mum always telling me when you wake up each morning say to yourself if I can make someone one happy today then you’ll be happy.
      What a shame everyone in the world can’t do that then everyone would make everyone else happy!
      Apart from that I think counting your blessings, being content, helping others and realising that out of every negative there is a positive, you just sometimes have to search for it but it is there!
      That would be my 5 things 🤗

      Reply
    • Rachelreflex 5th March 2021 at 6:58 pm

      Thank you! What a lovely gift from your mother. That’s also reminded me that I often don’t discover the positive until much later (and end up saying ‘thank goodness that happened’).

      Reply
    • Dead Poet 18th November 2021 at 10:49 am

      The morning ritual of making my first cup of coffee & looking at the sky to remind myself of how beautiful this planet is.

      Always try to look stylish wherever you are going.

      Care not when people speak badly of me, i like myself.

      Say something complimentary to someone every day, they may be having a shit day.

      Be kind to Animals & spiders, you may come back as one in the next life.🤗

      Reply
    • Brighton Belle 18th November 2021 at 2:18 pm

      Keep breathing….

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    • Staying Alive 18th November 2021 at 6:06 pm

      Slow it down. No fun in the fast lane. Need to pause, rewind and come again. Not necessary to repeat.

      Reply
    • Alexandra 2013 18th November 2021 at 10:52 pm

      For me it’s being content. Stop looking for more or better or bigger we don’t need it. Am I content 🤔 I’m not sure but at this moment in time I suppose I am

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    • Dead Poet 19th November 2021 at 9:07 am

      The one thing to remember is, a lot of people are lonely in their own heads, many of us have the same thoughts but don’t have the opportunity or realisation/confidence to connect with our like minded souls out there. We are all out there feeling just as confused as you.

      Reply
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