Home Forums General We All Need To Feel Safe 🙏

Staying Alive Posted 2 weeks ago
We All Need To Feel Safe 🙏
10 likes & 12 replies
    • Shirlann 25th November 2021 at 10:47 am

      Unfortunately not 🤔and it’s only some men who can’t control their urge 😕most are 👍🙃

    • MikeyG 25th November 2021 at 11:03 am

      Most men can control these urges and understand that it is WRONG to abuse or assault women ( or anyone) these people have zero morals and are only acting on an animalistic level most of the time, in my view the current penalties just dont go far enough to deter these men ( although calling them men is an insult to the rest of us)….the penalties need to be stronger, if you sexually assault a woman ( or anyone) then you should have your bits removed its that simple ……. some may say thats harsh but the act of sexual assault is more than harsh on the victims yet the perpetrator did not consider this at the time….at the end of the day the punishment should fit the crime and in my estimation a prison sentence of however long is not a strong enough deterrent.

    • Grace Williams 25th November 2021 at 3:31 pm

      As a child (about 5-6 years old) I was ‘allowed’ to walk home from school by myself, I was followed daily by a guy, who at the time, seemed well over 6ft, maybe he was, or was it because I was so little. It had a massive impact on me (ie, never feeling safe, that would stay with me the rest of my life). In secondary school, the same thing, a creep would wait across the road from the school and follow me. These are just a couple of incidences that stuck with me, there are many more.

      It led me to become overtly aggressive, the way I would carry myself, verbally, my whole demeanour etc when out and about (best line of defence is attack). Infact looking back on photos from that era, I have a face that was as hard as nails, and even today (at 55) if I’m out and about and something feels or smells vaguely ‘off’ I instantly resort back to this mode… I’m not sure men realise the impact they have/had on us, and it reminds me of that post a few weeks ago where the lady was saying about being harassed online, well, … most of you probably saw my response.

      Over the years, I learned Krav Maga (originally taught by the Israeli army as self defence) basically in a situation you fight until you’ve given your all … In my case, because of old triggers, I become feral, it’s not pretty.

      And that is just a brief overview of the impact some mens behaviour can have. I’m sure most are unaware that we as women tend to be on high alert in many circumstances and environments that they would consider ‘normal’.

      • MikeyG 25th November 2021 at 6:00 pm

        Im now 57 and i remember someone in a car following me & my twin sister home from primary school when I was 9, we had to walk home in those days too at around 3 miles, the car started following us from the school gates and would slowly drive past us and wait at the next corner for us to walk by and then drive past slowly to the next corner etc all the way home, I remember that like it was yesterday and I also remember the police arriving at the house.

        • Staying Alive 25th November 2021 at 6:16 pm

          O that’s so scary for you.

          I’ve had a few scary moment’s a recent one in day light. Out on my own shopping at a Busy High Street when a clear white van poured to the curb as I was walking the driver rolled down his window and fingers singled at me. I quickly walked past but then froze when I got to the next corner realising what had happened. And what could have happened.

          Always worried about my daughter who works in Nando’s and sometimes has to do a nightshift so walking home for her it’s very scary. Although she doesn’t do this alone.

        • Grace Williams 25th November 2021 at 6:16 pm

          I hear you MikeyG …yep, I had that too 🙁 … It was worse in winter, dark nights coming home from school, as I lived in notorious red light districts, so was followed frequently 🙁

        • MikeyG 25th November 2021 at 6:24 pm

          It certainly scared me & my sister although I would have done my best to protect her, but I dont think that at the age of 9 you fully understand the potential consequences of that situation, to us it was just some random following us home.

    • Alexandra 2013 25th November 2021 at 5:17 pm

      Until the law changes it will never end. You cannot rehabilitate a sex offender it’s in them but as usual the law protects the perpetrator and some do gooder jumps in for the guilty one. And while we’re on the subject of law I think it should be illegal for a lawyer to defend any bad person if they know they are guilty. Should be a mandatory prison sentence for the lawyer no matter what. They are putting the guilty back on the streets to do it again

      • Grace Williams 25th November 2021 at 5:49 pm

        It goes back to the nature/nurture debate. Statistically those that carry out sex acts (violent acts etc) were not born inherently bad, infact I think it’s less than 1% that come from or have some sort of innate gene that predisposes them to act as they do – Much of the perpetration of these offences comes from trauma experienced themselves, not making excuses (believe me, I am the absolutely last person to stand up for them – The grown up in me plays devils advocate, the feral in me would hang them without a 2nd thought) – But I think until we change the way we raise children then this will continue. The more I looked into sexual abuse, for men and women, both with victims and perpetrators, the worse the picture got.

    • Grace Williams 25th November 2021 at 7:20 pm

      And here we are in 2021, as though it was the 17th century, women being offered up like slabs of meat. If this is being done by a government (Austrian) what chance do we stand??? Being traded like animals, and what message does this send out?


    • Alexandra 2013 26th November 2021 at 9:33 am

      OMG 😱 well that’s the male population sorted. I have no issues with brothels as long as the girls are there of their own free will. As for nature vs nurture no matter how we are raised as adults we know right from wrong and I believe we cannot always use the way were raised to commit evil in any form

      • Grace Williams 26th November 2021 at 10:26 am

        Like you, I have no issue with brothels either IF the women are there are of their own volition. I’ve been on 2 raids in this country where the women were rescued, most were either so beaten down emotionally and mentally, very rarely physically, as they didnt want the ‘goods’ damaged, or so drugged up they did’nt even know, as they had been moved around so often, what country they were in. (The sex trafficking trade is now as big as the drugs trade.)

        Trauma becomes ‘normalised’ if that is what you are raised with. It’s much more complex than knowing better as an adult. So if you saw parents beating each other as a response/reaction to a situation, usually you dont learn the skills, vocabulary or any other means of dealing with situations yourself, you lash out, if this becomes your coping mechanism, until you are either taught or learn differently, this is generally the path you will take. Likewise, someone who has been brutalised as a youngster, develops different neural pathways to a ‘normal’ person, it becomes hard wired in their brain, and how they either act out or not will be different in all cases.

        As a generalisation, usually a woman, as an adult, will go on to engage in abusive relationships, because she hasnt learned any other way and thinks this is normal, it’s a long road for her to recover, some never do. (Hence the high rate of substance abuse) On the other hand, men will tend to repeat the cycle of abuse,in whatever form is ‘normal’ for him.

        Unless there are circumstances that make them question their behaviours, they will live their adult lives as damaged humans, doomed to repeat their history. we are a deeply damaged, traumatised society at present. (Not just the UK obviously)