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Scarlet raven Posted 7 months ago
Today’s poem

The walk .

The path I choose to walk today showed blossom and beautiful hedgerows of may. The song of a blackbird a skylark a thrush two magpies for joy and a green holly bush . A squirrel content to sit in his tree not bothered at all about little old me . A pure white egret to tall and so proud and a rippling stream added contentment and sound , of the beauty of nature the springing of spring of warm summer skies and the gentle wind , of the buzzing of bee’s of unfurling leaves of days ahead with so much hope so much happiness and so scope . Enjoy the earth the beauty it hold’s for it’s content’s are certainly a pure pot of gold .

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7 likes & 43 replies
    • redman 6th May 2021 at 7:31 pm

      thats lovely pat

      Reply
    • LawrieL 6th May 2021 at 9:20 pm

      That’s beautifully written – I sensed I was there with you on your walk!

      Reply
    • Keith D 6th May 2021 at 9:56 pm

      It was interesting, but to me poetry has to rhyme, so to me yours is prose, which tells a lovely story.
      I personally only write in rhyme.
      Best wishes Keith D

      Reply
      • Colin in Kent 6th May 2021 at 10:40 pm

        It does rhyme Keith (some of the end rhymes are closer to assonance), but you need to break it down into its metrical feet or you’re in danger of reading it like prose. It’s largely iambic tetrametre, until the end when it changes slightly. What’s fun is that the iambs give it a beat like walking. Thus:

        The walk .

        The path I choose to walk today / showed blossom and beautiful hedgerows of may /
        The song of a blackbird a skylark a thrush /
        two magpies for joy and a green holly bush /
        A squirrel content to sit in his tree /
        not bothered at all about little old me /
        A pure white egret to tall and so proud /
        and a rippling stream added contentment and sound /
        of the beauty of nature the springing of spring /
        of warm summer skies and the gentle wind /
        of the buzzing of bee’s /
        of unfurling leaves /
        of days ahead with so much hope /
        so much happiness and so scope /
        Enjoy the earth the beauty it hold’s /
        for it’s content’s are certainly a pure pot of gold .

        Reply
        • Deleted User 6th May 2021 at 11:05 pm

          Very nice pome Colin

          Reply
        • Colin in Kent 7th May 2021 at 2:32 pm

          It’s Scarlet’s work, I was just setting it out so the rhymes could better be seen 🙂

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        • Scarlet raven 7th May 2021 at 8:03 am

          Thank you for sorting my poem out I love it the way your have set it out . As I new to writing down my thoughts any creative criticism is valuable thank you .

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        • Colin in Kent 7th May 2021 at 2:39 pm

          It was absolutely fine as it was! I was just clarifying the rhyme scheme. But of course not all poems have to rhyme. Exactly as you say it’s the words, their content and what they say that rhyme. I gave up rhyming in my poetry a long time ago. But everyone has a different approach.

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        • Scarlet raven 7th May 2021 at 2:45 pm

          Thank you it did flow better the way you did it though , really appreciate your time .

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        • Colin in Kent 7th May 2021 at 2:48 pm

          You’re more than welcome. I hope we get to read more of your poems!

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        • Keith D 11th July 2021 at 12:43 pm

          Scarlet creative criticism is good, but I would never accept anyone rewriting any of my work . , as its personal and copywrite

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        • Scarlet raven 11th July 2021 at 2:11 pm

          Thank you

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        • Keith D 11th July 2021 at 2:16 pm

          It’s my pleasure. You are a very talented lady.
          Besides your walks, where do you get your inspiration from .please ? X

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        • Scarlet raven 11th July 2021 at 5:38 pm

          I suffer anxiety and sometimes I feel deep emotions and I like to use that by being creative , I also like to paint . I find the mind a very imaginative thing , sometimes it’s more giving than others . Thank you for your kind words x

          Reply
        • Keith D 11th July 2021 at 6:00 pm

          Hi scarlet ,thanks for your message and opening up to me . I understand and know what you are saying.
          I have sent you a direct message, which I hope you dont mind me doing .I cant paint, and am rubbish with my hands lol
          but I sing in a couple of choirs and play the piano for pleasure
          Regards .
          Keith the singing poet

          Reply
        • Deelittle 13th July 2021 at 6:55 pm

          It wasn’t “re-written” – as I see it Colin merely illustrated where the rhyming schemes were for somebody who think poetry ALWAYS has to rhyme. It doesn’t of course and I must admit to reading it as prose before he broke it down.

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        • Keith D 13th July 2021 at 7:04 pm

          To me because
          colin had written and changed it, because he had amended it , thereforeit was not the original item, All written work in England is copywrite protected.!!

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        • E-man 7th May 2021 at 5:46 pm

          Brilliant Analysis

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        • Colin in Kent 7th May 2021 at 5:50 pm

          Thanks E-man!

          Reply
    • Karen Harvey AKA Poet on the Beach 6th May 2021 at 10:45 pm

      There is much joy to be had in nature. I enjoyed this nature walk with you.

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    • Keith D 6th May 2021 at 10:59 pm

      Colin ,i am accepting your point , i am not criticising the poem, or creator!
      what I’m saying is that I believe that every line has to rhyme with the next.?
      When I write each verse has 4 lines .
      That’s how I have been creating my poems for 20 years and always will

      I dont think of using any poetic styles, or breaking a poem into sections to analyse ?

      I simply write what my head and head dictates and that’s worked for me so far. As the feedback I get is excellent!
      I wrote this poem several years ago , but I’m only including part of it on here!

      Love is always in your heart
      and has been their from your lifes start
      Where it actually comes from nobody knows
      But one thing is certain, it just grows and grows

      when two people their lives decide to lovingly share
      That is when through hearts and minds, they become a pair.

      Keith the singing poet

      Reply
      • Scarlet raven 7th May 2021 at 8:00 am

        Thank you for your comment. My poem was also written from my head and my heart , I have a very special spot in my daily walks were I start the poem off , to me it flowed in the way it’s written . I don’t call myself a poet as it’s just something I live to do abs get pleasure from . I like both poems that rhyme and poems that don’t , I find it’s the actual content the words that touch my heart . Your poem is beautiful . Many thanks for taking time to read mine .

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      • Colin in Kent 7th May 2021 at 2:37 pm

        Yes Keith, but as you see each of Scarlet’s lines do rhyme with the next. Poems don’t have to have four lines in a stanza – the sonnet would certainly disagree with that! It’s good that you’ve found a form that you’re comfortable with, and works for you – your words are heartfelt and you gain pleasure from them! That’s the main thing 🙂

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        • Keith D 7th May 2021 at 3:16 pm

          Hi Colin thanks for your comments, i agree to some extent about scarlets poem and now that she has explained her method and reasons for writing her poem, i can understand any future poems she posts.

          i agree that a poem doesnt always have to have 4 lines and some of mine have six lines
          As you say I have found a style that i am happy with and 1 that my followers agree with, as they find it easy to read and understand?
          i now only write when a new idea comes to me, as when i first began writing i used to let it take over my life and I kept setting myself targets, which to some extent took pleasure our of writing.

          My biggest success, has not been getting lots published or monies paid for them, but i did have 4 poems about organ donation displayed in Cape town South Africa , to try to inspire visitors to become organ .donors in their own countries. i have not bothered going into what the intricacies of poetry are, because many years ago at college, when forced to study poetry for a semester, they tried to force us to dissect poems etc and it put me off

          Reply
    • Deleted User 6th May 2021 at 11:04 pm

      Some lovely pomes here

      Reply
    • Keith D 7th May 2021 at 10:00 am

      Scarlet thank you for your message and explanation of how you got the idea and created your poem
      Its helped me understand how you work.
      I agree that it relates your journey and what your heart and mind sees?
      When I began writing many years ago, I didn’t call myself a poet just an amateur writer of verses, it was others who called me a poet and liked my work?
      I became addicted to writing and set myself targets to reach, then when I reached over several hundred, I stopped needing to write as much, I also stopped counting at over 1500.
      I get my ideas from things people say or do and sometimes I will create special 1s for wedding anniversaries or birthdays.
      You say you dont class yourself as a poet, and that’s your choice!
      May I say that in my opinion you are a very talented writer, with a brilliant perspective on what you see?

      I have written in both rhyme and prose, but don’t feel comfortable writing prose.
      I write whatever comes into my mind and would like to write more for song lyrics.

      . I can read music, but dont have enough knowledge to put them both together.
      But I will try
      Thanks for your kind comments, about my poem, it’s only part of the original poem

      I look forward to reading more of your work .
      Keith D the poet

      Reply
    • Scarlet raven 7th May 2021 at 12:32 pm

      Thank you so much for your in depth reply . Your words inspire to keep writing on . and your kind comments mean a lot . I am learning so every ones comments on how they work really help thank you again . I would love to read some of your pieces . Scarlet raven.

      Reply
    • karsteele 12th May 2021 at 2:58 pm

      Perfect.

      Reply
    • Karen Harvey AKA Poet on the Beach 10th July 2021 at 11:19 pm

      Dear Scarlet,
      I just Read and enjoyed your poem, especially after seeing the way Colin demonstrated the line breaks with ‘/’ representing the end of each line. It’s not always possible to put line breaks in forms like this but ‘/’ represents a line break and ”//’ represents a new verse. I look forward to reading more.

      Best wishes,

      Karen
      AKA
      Poet on the Beach 🌴

      Reply
    • LawrieL 11th July 2021 at 1:28 pm

      Such an uplifting poem … yes, so much beauty to behold. Thank you

      Reply
    • Scarlet raven 11th July 2021 at 2:10 pm

      Thank you x

      Reply
    • Deelittle 13th July 2021 at 6:50 pm

      Beautifully done 💕

      Reply
    • Mark123 1st September 2021 at 6:10 am

      Love this poem straight from the “Romantics”.

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    • Mark123 1st September 2021 at 6:46 am

      I have just read the exchanges between Colin and Keith along with the other various comments. I do accept both approaches from Colin & Keith who have clearly brought relevant points of style and technical format to the subject as well as a useful critical analysis feedback opportunity.

      However after reading Scarlet raven`s beautiful poem\prose, which in fact I did before I went on to read the comments . I found it to be a sincere and a true reflection of her experience which also reflected in the imagery and excellent use of word structure. Technicalities aside it was a very good piece of writing done in a spirit of I feel genuine sincerity.

      To further my point I will cite “There is much joy to be had in nature. I enjoyed this nature walk with you”, as posted by, Karen Harvey AKA Poet on the Beach. Also a reply which for me perfectly catches the essence of what Scarlet raven was trying to express is the comment posted by Lawriel,”That’s beautifully written – I sensed I was there with you on your walk”!

      “Always be a poet, even in prose.”

      –Charles Baudelaire

      “Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it’s the only way you can do anything really good.”

      –William Faulkner

      Reply
    • Scarlet raven 1st September 2021 at 7:57 am

      Thank you so much for your kind words , the piece was written straight from my heart , I was feeling every word , hearing every sound I was in that moment . Nature is the most beautiful of teachers .

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      • Keith D 2nd September 2021 at 10:20 am

        That’s how I create my poetry .sometimes I get a title first and others times the words , which sometimes I mull over in my head for minutes, or even hours .
        Mr chipps the poet man

        Reply
    • Mark123 2nd September 2021 at 6:07 am

      Scarlet raven, You sum it up perfectly yet again.

      “If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart”. Buddha

      Reply
    • Keith D 2nd September 2021 at 10:17 am

      I hope that you enjoyed your journey Scarlet

      Reply
    • redman 16th October 2021 at 7:05 pm

      mypoem i wrote about 40 years ago m art teacher embossed my rose on it pat

      Reply
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