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Archer62 Posted 1 year ago
There must be more to life than work, keeping head above water with finances, trying to keep family happy and feeling burnt out 🤔
11 likes & 22 replies
    • Nigelartist 26th June 2021 at 8:15 am

      You need Jesus in your life. It will make more sense then.

      • Deleted User 27th June 2021 at 2:45 pm

        That’s a good answer though I’m not sure if you’re joking.

        So few people have a spiritual side to their lives and then wonder what’s missing.

        Man has always through all times and all cultures had a spiritual thirst or need and these days that gets totally ignored or even mocked.

        People also think they constantly have to be doing something.

        You don’t.

        Learn to sit in the garden with a cup of tea looking at the sky and simply thinking.

        Looking at the moon and stars looking at the darkness and listening to the sounds.

        Stop wanting stuff.

        Stop thinking stuff will make you happier.

        Have no communications devices for so many hours a day it’s simply not normal to have to be connected in touch 24/7.

        Play Ludo with the kids or cards snakes and ladders.

        It’s important to disconnect them too.

        Might just be me but this modern high tech world where we are becoming part human part machine will prove to be seriously damaging mentally and emotionally in the the not to distant future.

        A mental health crisis in the making and emotionally bankrupt.

        It’s what I see around me.

        I think I’m fortunate in being able to switch off.

        People know I can be difficult to get in touch with and have learnt to accept that.

        Last night the evening was fairly cool.

        I was sitting outside with a book and a bottle of whisky.

        Took me a couple of hours to consume half the bottle and read a few chapters.

        Came in nice and refreshed and slept like a baby.

        What do you need or want in life?

        Write it down and have a think if it’s really just wasting your life away chasing the wind.

        I remember when I was a teen finally getting a really nice hi fi that I’d wanted like what seemed forever.

        In a pretty short space of time it was just a hi fi in the corner nothing special.

        Nice to have but the pleasure buzz wore off pretty quickly.

        The material world alone is a cold empty place with something missing.

        I’m now a less is more kind of person and what a liberating experience.

        My supposedly intelligent phone must be half a dozen or more years old and does what most other peoples phones delivered last week do.

        The material world to me seems like a trap but I have several spiritual doors I can step through.

        • Miss money penny 27th June 2021 at 5:09 pm

          This is very deep. I find happiness is not to want x

        • Deleted User 27th June 2021 at 6:18 pm

          I find a lot of people confuse happiness and pleasure.
          The two are loosely related but worlds apart.
          You can’t buy happiness but you can purchase pleasure in many forms and in many places.
          People who chase pleasure all the time never find happiness.
          I know this from experience.

        • Shirlann 27th June 2021 at 6:24 pm

          Very true there plenty of things that can make you feel happy and not cost anything!

        • adeliza0165 28th June 2021 at 9:47 pm

          I do believe that true happiness comes from within – an enduring state of mind really, and the other type of happiness, which occurs around us, is ephemeral.

      • JaneKim 27th June 2021 at 7:54 pm

        🙌🏾 Yes!

    • Roz Orme 26th June 2021 at 9:42 am

      I think the problem is trying to find a way to conserve enough energy while you’re working to have a bit left for when you get home. Work can take everything

    • Shirlann 26th June 2021 at 9:52 am

      Say the same thing 🙄but no answer yet

    • Caroline0359 27th June 2021 at 1:46 pm

      You work in the NHS, no wonder you are burnt out. Me too 44 yrs a nurse still have another 3 yrs 9 months due to change in pension age. Loosing my husband when he was just 61 was a huge wake up call. We all say life is too short and for some it really is. Think about what you really want in life.

      None of us are indispensable, you can bust your guts in a job and don’t even get a thanks from management when you leave.

      Its very tough to balance work and home life. Do you finish work late every day,
      Do you take your annual leave and take a full break from work?

      Can you afford to take your NHS pension at 60 if you are able , then reduce your hours to get the balance more in favour of more time off than at work ?

    • Deleted User 27th June 2021 at 5:32 pm

      Another NHS worker here, I work in OPMH. It’s been a very tough year and that’s not even working on the front line with Covid. We are seeing the fallout with mental health now, lots of poorly people and struggling families. Setting boundaries help and separating home and work. Leaving my laptop at work so I’m not tempted to work in an evening.
      Also setting down time, a cup of tea, a film, being outdoors., and also setting boundaries with family.
      It is okay to say no and prioritise yourself some of the time.

    • Deleted User 27th June 2021 at 6:20 pm

      Great being retired once you get used to it.
      I now look at it as a permanent weekend.

    • Selsdon 27th June 2021 at 6:53 pm

      Wise words from your fellow NHS workers on here

    • adeliza0165 28th June 2021 at 9:19 pm

      You have to pace yourself – don’t think that you have to do everything all at the same time – it gets you nowhere – things can wait… take yourself for a walk, listen to the sound of the birds, gaze at stars and clouds, sit in your garden and just chill…nature is so beautiful and very therapeutic and it’s all around us 😊

    • Deleted User 28th June 2021 at 9:21 pm

      This topic brings back some words from a song by Tom Waits that seem apt.

      A long dead soldier looks out from the frame
      No one remembers his war; no one
      remembers his name.

      That’s how we’ll all end up.
      I often watch very old black and white local history films and all those people with their horses and carts moving around town people catching the trolley bus or the tram buying fruit in the market or working in the fields… long gone and long forgotten.
      No one left alive who can tell you a thing about their struggles their tears their achievements or lack of.
      Their work their hopes their dreams.
      They have become silhouettes in a piece of grainy film.

      A long dead soldier looks out from the frame
      No one remembers his war; no one
      remembers his name.

      This is what many of us are preparing for with a totally materialist point of view.
      Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones who get a statue erected in the city centre…
      Are you worrying and stressing about the right things?

      • adeliza0165 29th June 2021 at 8:36 am

        Very true – very sad.
        In a way we all die twice – second time is when we’re forgotten.
        I often look at old gravestones and wonder about the life that person had lived…

    • Selsdon 29th June 2021 at 10:52 am

      Lots of wise words on here about the nature of happiness but from what you’ve written, the root cause of your unhappiness appears to be your job. Stress is bearable for a while but when it’s continuous with no end in sight it’s time to get out. Is there something else you can do that’s better paid and fewer hours? If so I’d go for it.

    • Sarahwithanh 29th June 2021 at 11:00 am

      I know that feeling too.. I’ve taken to separating myself just a bit from my everyday responsibilities to be selfish and do some things that make life a bit better for me. It’s probably not the most inspiring response but we are so much more than the grind and there needs to be balance. I am happy but always budge up to make way for a bit more joy. Have a great day.

    • Annie47 29th June 2021 at 11:18 am

      This is a different one , do you have a lovely family to be thankful for?, it’s a tough world, l worked with special needs years ago and my husband was very ill for a year and couldn’t work , it was a very tough time with 2 young children both physically and financially but we made it and it gave me a new outlook on life , l am now thankful for health , family and often think back to those times

    • VFP 29th June 2021 at 12:05 pm

      Could it be that you are not getting the support you need at home and feel as if you are struggling alone? You seem to have lots of positive things in your life – financially sound, one or more children, a job. But if your marriage is unhappy, then you need to recognise this and then try to do something about it. Poor relationships sap people of energy. I was amazed at how much energy I had after ending my first marriage, years ago, with two very young kids, a mortgage and no child support. But I stayed friends with him, and despite working and studying long, long hours, I got through it with everyone happy. My energy came from my newfound freedom and my determination to give my kids a good and happy life. I don’t know your personal circumstances, so forgive me if I have got this wrong.

    • Chi 3rd July 2021 at 11:29 am

      Hi Archer. Hope you are getting to grips with this complex issue. Not quite sure which aspects you are struggling with but I think many people – men & women – can sympathise. Sounds to me you feel you are simply working to keep everyone else “happy” except yourself? Apologies if I am wrong but I felt the same for many years, working crazy hours, 6 days/week to give my family the “perfect home”, taking only one week a year off for a holiday but not having enough time to relax myself, giving up all my hobbies and interests because I wanted to be a “perfect husband” and dad. I was happy to compromise my own life to keep everyone else happy and give my wife and the kids the best in life. However, it became clear that my wife was not reciprocating nor supporting me and this made me less and less happy over the years despite me wanting to communicate and keep our relationship alive (after all, before the kids we were a very happy couple). She would never admit it but it became clear that she was making a life for herself and the kids – without me. She only admitted it after I confronted her parents! Anyway, this is not about me (just background) – I hope this is not the case with you but if it is then you have to think of your own wellbeing too. I wish I had. But I am glad to report that my relationship with my children is really good. I am a good Dad – just sad that they do not have the “normal” family life that I worked so hard to give them.

    • Deleted User 6th July 2021 at 8:55 pm

      There is a lot more to life ! may be hard but we have to try and focus on the positives. I felt like this and it took time but I suddenly started realising what went right instead of what went wrong