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Matteus Rosso Posted 7 months ago
So – when was the last time you fell in love?

In my first 20 years it was once; in the next twenty it was a few more; in the last twenty years…. zero. Once more would be great!

5 likes & 62 replies
    • Chojo 25th January 2022 at 11:06 am

      To be honest I don’t think I ever have.
      Looking back over past relationships, I’ve loved them but I don’t think I was in love with them. If that makes sense.

      • Matteus Rosso 25th January 2022 at 11:26 am

        I know what you mean – I have had long-term relationships with ladies who I loved but was not ‘in love; with. Must admit I was more than a bit ‘on the spot’ when they told me they loved me and I didn’t immediately reciprocate [as if it were ‘my fault’ that I didn’t feel the same things they were feeling].
        You can’t chose who you love – or who loves you.

      • HH 2021 31st January 2022 at 6:45 pm

        Whats the difference Chojo? I’m just curious as to what the difference is between loving them, and being in love? Just be Interesting to hear your point of view x

        • Chojo 1st February 2022 at 9:02 am

          You can love anyone or anything, you can love your parents, your cat or even your favourite spatula!
          The difference is you’re not in love with them. With my past relationships I learned to love them over time as they were part of my life and I cared about them.
          I think being in love or falling in love is something different to everyone. I never fell in love, I met someone they were nice so we started hanging out together and things progressed from there this is how it’s happened in all my relationships so yes I’ve loved but I’ve never been in love.
          It’s a difficult thing to explain for me at least, hope this helps a bit.

        • HH 2021 1st February 2022 at 10:50 am

          Ahh, you explain things so well, now I understand ! ( ps don’t think I’ve ever loved a spatula!😉🤣)

        • Chojo 1st February 2022 at 11:01 am

          I’ve never loved a spatula but I’ve had an affair with a whisk and I may just be in love with my new sauté pan! 🤣

        • HH 2021 1st February 2022 at 11:09 am

          But won’t that make the whisk jealous?! 🤔 🤣 nutter!

    • Shazza01 26th January 2022 at 7:52 am

      Fell in love 4 years ago and still trying to fix my broken heart after he left in August 😟

      • Matteus Rosso 26th January 2022 at 11:08 am

        Sorry to hear that.
        From my experience, the broken heart fixes itself as I haven’t found anything that works.
        I know when I’m over someone when I stop having constant debates in my head with them [and myself lol!] trying to work out why they did what they did and what really was the reason for calling it off… for what it’s worth, I never do resolve it!
        One way of looking at it is that you are left with a hole in your life, and that hole stays there until it gets displaced or filled by something new…
        Good luck 🙂

        • adeliza0165 1st June 2022 at 6:00 pm

          I was with a real charmer on and off for a number of years…

          We got on really well but he was quite negative about everyone, including me! where as i see the good in people and try to remain positive. (I guess that’s where we clashed).

          Petty faults became a major drama, (even though he had plenty of his, which I let go over my head). I’m quite sure it made him feel quite superior about himself to belittle me. It was very disheartening.

          I don’t think he knew the meaning of love or what it was to love someone – he loved himself too much to love anyone else – people were there to be used.

          I knew he would walk away from me again for the most pettiest of things, and then would come back again further down the line, only to do the same thing again.

          It took me a long time to build up the strength not to see him again 😊

      • Woodcrafter-Keith 26th January 2022 at 5:42 pm

        Well the man was a fool then

      • HH 2021 31st January 2022 at 11:58 pm

        Noo, that’s cack!I’m sorry to hear that Shazza x

      • Popswood 18th March 2022 at 11:22 pm

        I posted this in the poetry section but it seems kinda appropriate to this thread?

      • Popswood 19th March 2022 at 10:33 am

        Here’s another – I think this is probably love?

        • Popswood 19th March 2022 at 10:36 am

          I’ve never been to Timbuktu or Samarkand, but have spent a few lovely long weekends in Cornwall and Worcestershire!

      • Lonelysole 19th March 2022 at 2:31 pm

        Is sooo difficult I am trying to fill hole in my heart after 26 years he walked out said he did not want to be married! Does not seem to be getting any easier yet still miss him like mad! Good luck and I am sure one day we will wake up and have a happy day x

      • dcostelloe 24th May 2022 at 5:10 am

        I feel ya had the same happen to me. Now I just put it behind me and move on. That is not to say it is easy.

    • freshwaterfishingwoman 26th January 2022 at 9:07 am

      Love is never the same in retrospect …have loved when I needed someone to love.
      The last time I needed to love was erm ….erm 8/9 ish years ago …now I realise he did t deserve to be loved but he was important to me at the time and I enjoy the memories. He wasn’t unkind just selfish and I would not blame him for that. Women could learn a lot from how men deal with matters of the heart.
      He taught me that now is what is important in any relationship. Don’t think too far forward.

      I think it’s similar to believing in god ….the older I get the more I believe 🤣🤣🤣

      • Matteus Rosso 26th January 2022 at 11:03 am

        Am intrigued by “have loved when I needed to love…” Was it romantic love [ie ‘falling in love’, which I think isn’t something you get a choice about] or commitment-type love which develops as you chose to spend your life with someone?

        I think we can all learn from how we deal with matters of the heart – unfortunately I suspect the things we learn are mainly after a relationship has run its course.

        Agree that “now” is important, but, for me, if you and your inamorata don’t have a vision of ‘tomorrow and tomorrow’ then personally I don’t know where we’re going or why. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a ‘recreational’ relationship [ie for fun] – have always intended them to be long-term.

        • wilkie1654 26th January 2022 at 3:40 pm

          Mattteus, I have loved and been in love with my two husband’s who both unfortunately passed away with cancer , I look to be in love again one day but he would have to be very special

    • Mrs VS 26th January 2022 at 12:31 pm

      20 years ago with my late husband. I met him at a Ceroc dancing class, and he was hilarious 😂

    • Mrs VS 26th January 2022 at 5:08 pm

      His wit 🤣 his dancing was so so. And yes we kept going for a while until he developed a work related shoulder injury. Can’t twirl after that

    • Woodcrafter-Keith 26th January 2022 at 5:50 pm

      I’ve only truly been in love once I believe and that was 30 years ago it was short lived, and I cried myself to sleep everynight for months

      but unfortunately she had come out of a very violent relationship and he drew her back in, after the stupid solicitors dealing with her divorce scheduled their appointments to close and weedled his way back in
      we did try again a few years later but the true spark had gone by then part of me will always love her but she’s happy now she married a wonderful guy 20 years ago I even went to the wedding

    • Christopher Leslie 27th January 2022 at 10:29 am

      Looking back I have fallen in love twice. I married them neither times. Unfortunatly I married twice for the wrong reasons I mistook love for an instinct to care, and ended up in bad marrages

    • Tambos57 27th January 2022 at 10:42 am

      I can recall when I was 22 a girl who actually made my heart skip a beat, great feeling and I did wonder if that was love. Unfortunately we split up but met by accident while shopping. I was married at the time but we still had the connection. The ones that got away

      You can grow to love a person which I have and done but never experienced that feeling I had when 22.

    • Darcy1978. 31st January 2022 at 5:33 pm

      I had the privilege of falling in love at 17 and remained in the same relationship for 38yrs until evil Cancer took him..What I would give to fall in love again. Its the best feeling in the world🥰

    • Naz 31st January 2022 at 9:10 pm

      I am still confused!!
      Loving someone because of reasons or just a sexual attraction?
      I think first one is love that takes time to develop and second one is lust that can wash out slowly.
      Please correct me if I am wrong.

    • HH 2021 1st February 2022 at 12:00 am

      Do you think that lust can be mistaken for love sometimes? It’s just an interesting subject don’t you think? X

    • Linpap 1st February 2022 at 1:05 am

      I agree HH it is interesting and now I’ve forgotten what the question is! But I think being in love is that heart skipping a beat can’t stop thinking about them wanting to rip their clothes off even if your head tells you it’s the most ridiculous impractical relationship… I was like that with an American I met when I was 21 he was 20 we were both mad about each other and spent a fortune on trans Atlantic flights long distance phone calls (no social media back then!) it was wild and wonderful and heart wrenching every time we had to separate and after about three years we admitted defeat and went our separate ways but we never forgot each other and met up again about four years ago the spark was still there but at that time we were both happily married to other people. For years after we split no one else came close to how I felt about him I was single for a long time had some very short and some medium term relationships but nothing felt quite right until eventually I met the man who became my husband it was a whirlwind romance when we met he had already accepted a job overseas so became another long distance relationship I felt a sense of foreboding or history repeating itself but this time circumstances were a bit different, when he went to live overseas (in Germany so not as far as the US) he left me with a little gift growing inside me which helped us decide to get married shotgun wedding I suppose we were in lust/love it was probably completely mad to get married and start a family after knowing each other for such a short time but it felt right and that sort of caring looking after each other being part of each other’s lives and families calm deep sort of love developed between us and luckily we never lost the original passionate spark either

    • HH 2021 1st February 2022 at 7:56 am

      Ahhhh Linpap, I remember you telling me about your American man, you speak of him so fondly even now, but yes, America is a bit of a trek!

      Good that you’ve had such lovely experiences though Lin, even though you’ve lost your husband, you have such amazing memories of him. ❤

      Would you ever see your American
      Man again do you think? X

      • Linpap 1st February 2022 at 8:28 am

        Yes HH it’s highly likely we’ll meet up again when my daughter was working in America for the summer about 3 years ago she went to stay with him for a couple of weekends and he lent her a car to use while she was there she got to meet his wife and said she was noticeably very similar to me-but not as good!!😂😂 you see I’ve got her well trained!!! And he told her a few stories about some of the things we got up to on our travels together that I’d never told her she had to double check with me… we have been in touch since I lost Steve and I have an open invite to go and visit but not sure whether that would be a very good idea however if he comes to London on business we may meet up for a meal as we have done a couple of times before

        • HH 2021 1st February 2022 at 8:57 am

          Aww, it’s lovely that you still have that relationship with him, but I can understand that it must be difficult to meet him now, especially if he’s married. I can imagine those feelings are still there! Xx

    • TmonT 1st February 2022 at 7:59 am

      Yesterday I had the most amazing dessert in a restaurant ❤️❤️❤️😂😂😂

    • Mo22 18th February 2022 at 6:38 pm

      Met my husband when I was 15 he was 16. So I married my first love Married for 49 years. Sadly died in November. Suddenly. Yes I loved him. That first love thingmybob obviously can never be repeated. Over the years we still loved each other but obviously the heart racing, lust can’t be forever but became a great comfortable companionship. He still made me laugh. We had many good times and adventures together miss him so much

      • Matteus Rosso 18th February 2022 at 6:48 pm

        Wow that’s such a lovely story of the two of you being together all that time 🙂 I can’t imagine that anyone else would come near to that, even if you did meet someone.

        • Mo22 18th February 2022 at 7:03 pm

          Thanks. I made it sound all sugary sweet. School sweethearts etc. Believe me we had our moments! My very good friend was exactly in my position 3 years ago. She met a lovely man – on a dating site! At 70 she is happy again she tells me. So there’s always hope for everyone

    • Mo22 18th February 2022 at 6:40 pm

      Presently having a large G&T which I also love

      • Matteus Rosso 18th February 2022 at 6:46 pm

        It took me a long time to appreciate G&T but I now have to say that I think that a good G&T can’t be beaten [tho it must be said that it’s definitely more of a warm-weather drink and not so much when the worst storm in decades is threatening to blow the roof off!].

    • Mo22 18th February 2022 at 6:57 pm

      Ha ha I’m having another, so obviously disagree!

    • Fuff 19th May 2022 at 10:34 am

      Last time I fell in love was 37 years ago. On my own now and ready to step onto the dating ladder again. Just need to find the courage to step onto that first rung and join one of the various websites.

      Not sure if I want to fall in love though, looking more for a bit of companionship- someone who’s easy to spend time with . Hope you find that someone special 😊

    • Tenerife 19th May 2022 at 10:34 pm

      About 5 years ago.

    • Bobby65 26th May 2022 at 11:59 am

      Hi 9 years ago, met Jon on line wonderful man, unfortunately he was killed in a car crash 2 years ago. On line dating does work, just have to have faith.

    • Cago 29th May 2022 at 8:52 am

      To love and be loved in return is a wonderous thing, a companion, a friend…fell in love four years ago and we are still together…his name is Ludo

    • Peter Bailey 29th May 2022 at 1:55 pm

      2003 she lives in Malmö Sweden. I’ve been single for ten years and love living in Warwick. I wouldn’t leave this Town for any Woman.

    • Gerard371 1st June 2022 at 6:11 pm

      After reading all the great comments above, I wanted to say something profound about love, so here goes.

      Life is like a box of chocolates. 😁

    • freshwaterfishingwoman 14th June 2022 at 1:20 pm

      Once a very long time ago I connected with a man on a dating site.
      He wrote me such wonderous notes and was the most romantic man I had ever come across.
      This continued for nearly three or four months.
      In spite of my asking to meet him he never did and as I’m not the type to write on forever without meeting I gave up and wished him well.
      I still remember a lot of what he said in those missives ….a meal in Italy, that glass of red wine, a walk in the cool evening after a hot summer day.
      What brought him to mind was the name Gerard ….at least I think that was his name.
      Such is life and ships that sail by 🤗

      Love takes many forms and sometimes that love is not exactly what you expect.

    • Forestbather 14th June 2022 at 7:03 pm

      The last time I found love, I didn’t fall at all.

      It was someone I had known for many years.

      I had a really shitty couple of years and at the end of it ……. there they were, just like they always had been.

      We were both drunk and messaging each other silly stuff (it was the beginning of Covid so everything was weird) and I threw a question out there asking which of our mutual acquaintances do you fancy. I was not expecting the reply I got. It was a bit like in 4 Weddings when Kristen Scott-Thomas’s character tells Hugh Grant “It’s you. It’s always been you.”

      I realised I loved them too.

      I didn’t fall. I just was.