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Mo001 Posted 2 months ago
Should an apology be accepted or should we just accept that some people for whatever reason aren’t interested??? 🤔
1 like & 23 replies
    • Colin in Kent 6th June 2022 at 8:01 am

      I don’t think we really have enough context. Do you mean an apology we give to someone else, or one that they give to us? It’s never compulsory to accept an apology – it depends what was done, how sincere the apology is, how many times the person has apologised for the same thing.

      Do you mean people aren’t interested in apologising or accepting an apology?

    • Always 6th June 2022 at 8:51 am

      I think that if someone doesn’t want to accept an apology then there is usually a reason.

      An apology has to be genuine not just someone saying “sorry” but then continuing with the same behaviour which clearly indicates they are not sorry .
      Accepting someone’s apology also does not mean that the situation is fixed. A person could accept the apology whilst still choosing to remain distant from the one making it as they perhaps have learned something about that person’s personality and functioning that they no longer want to be involved with

      I really don’t think that anyone should be obliged to accept an apology

      • Mo001 6th June 2022 at 9:01 am

        Thanks Always, that is a great answer and makes a lot of sense to me. That will really help me moving forward 😊

    • Tambos58 6th June 2022 at 9:06 am

      I think it depends on the circumstances and persons involved.

      • Mo001 6th June 2022 at 9:14 am

        You’re right Tambos

        From personal experience family and friends will accept an apology because they know the kind of person you are.

        But acquaintances might not because there has been no friendship built.

    • Cheers on toast 6th June 2022 at 10:13 am

      Often stubbornness is in the way, then if one person decides to make the grand gesture and apologise but it is not gratefully accepted the stand off can get worse.

      It reminds me of this sculpture, the inner child knows what they want to happen but the stubbornness surfaces.

      • Mo001 6th June 2022 at 10:23 am

        That can be very true.

        Sometimes when it’s not family or a long standing friendship it’s better just to walk away.

    • Lonelysole 6th June 2022 at 1:49 pm

      I myself always accept a apology if it is genuine as it takes a lot of courage to apologise if you have done something wrong. With family I would always forgive, may not forget but it would have to be something really really bad for me to cut off my family or a relative and not accept it. I think friends are different and if they have hurt you in anyway you have to decide if you want to keep them in your life and accept the apology! Life is too short to keep people in your life that do not add value and if that is the case walk away! Always new friends to meet 🙂 xx

      • Mo001 6th June 2022 at 2:35 pm

        Thanks L.S. I’m lucky with my family and small group of friends that we give and receive apologies when we over step the mark.

        But your right when it comes to friendships, if something becomes hard work, causing anxiety and cannot be resolved it’s better for everyone to walk away.

    • Gw 7th June 2022 at 8:50 am

      What upsets me is when somebody has done something wrong (in my eyes anyway) and they don’t say sorry. But then any sorry has to be genuine. It says a lot to somebody if you don’t accept a genuine apology. It may be you have to consider an apology before accepting it.

    • Forestbather 7th June 2022 at 9:03 am

      Talk is cheap. It’s easy to say “yeah, apology accepted”. The truth is in the actions.

      It’s also easy to say “sorry” when you don’t mean it, so both scenarios can be fake.

      For me, there is nothing worse than a fakey person.

      Only time will tell.

    • Linpap 7th June 2022 at 9:22 am

      Several years ago I had called in on my neighbours and obviously overstayed my welcome the husband basically told me to FO tho not exactly in those words. Next day I saw him and he apologised for being rude I was convinced his wife had told him to so I wasn’t at all gracious and instead of saying well you were right sorry I stayed too long (which is what I would say now) I made a prickly comment back about being very offended or something. We never really warmed to each other tho I was friendly with his wife we are no longer neighbours but she invited me to go and visit their new house I thought I would bring up this little incident and apologise for my reaction however he wasn’t around suspect he went somewhere to avoid me it was seemingly quite a small thing but if I had been more gracious it would all have blown over and been forgotten; as it is I still think of it and really regret my reaction and wish I could speak to him about it sadly not possible now as he has since died. Has taught me a lesson to accept an apology for my own sake as well as the other person, and as Chris’ thought for the day says you are not necessarily agreeing with the other person just valuing a relationship

    • gruntfuttock 7th June 2022 at 12:37 pm

      If the apology is from Boris Johnson, special rules apply, viz it wasn’t sincerely made, and we can safely ignore it.

    • Dorothea 7th June 2022 at 3:06 pm

      I once got severly told off in a previous job and complained because it was both inaccurate and what had happened wasnot my fault. My manager was told to apologise and he did, but then spent the next 15 minutes explaining why he had told me off in the first place. This was years ago and I’ve always called it a politician’s apology – say sorry but then effectivly do the same thing again under the guise of explaining the situation. A simple sorry would have been fine.

      I agree that there are situations where apologies are given but not accepted, as sometimes the damage is too great. I would always appreciate it that someone has tried to apologise, but it’s got to be sincere and the same offence, for want of a better word, shouldn’t be repeated. I would also say that if someone doesn’t accept an apology, that person shouldn’t automatically be condemned by those who don’t know the history. It isn’t bad to refuse to accept an apology, particularly if the original problem caused damage.

    • Moondaisy 7th June 2022 at 6:31 pm

      If an apology is sincere, I can accept it, we all make mistakes. It’s when people deny the ‘action’ or whatever happened that annoys me…. rather than admit their wrong doing and denying the wrong doing is more hurtful.

      Forgiveness is a big thing…. sometimes you have to forgive for yourself, not for them, so you can move on…..

    • Mo001 7th June 2022 at 6:40 pm

      Thanks everyone for contributing to this thread. It’s been interesting to hear everyone’s take on apologies.