Home Forums Dating Red flag 🚩??

  • This topic has 87 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 2 hours ago by VFP.
Daisy 1212 Posted 3 months ago
Red flag 🚩??

Dating question…. I’ve been chatting to a man via a dating site. Even a phone call, which went really well. Seemed fine. Then he texts and says (about the dating site) he hopes I’m being nice to the men on there.. I replied tbh, I don’t go on there much. To which he says, “I don’t mind you flirting on there”. “so there.”…..
I didn’t reply. Half later he texts “Oi”… I said why are saying “Oi to me? “
I realise, it doesn’t sound like much. But, why does he think I need his permission or his ok to go on the site? .. And why try and get my attention with an Oi!! I havent heard from him since… 😂 😂

8 likes & 87 replies
    • Woodcrafter-Keith 1st April 2022 at 8:06 am

      Sounds to me very much like you’ve dodged a bullet there

      Personally if I start talking to someone I don’t talk to anyone else on the dating site to me it feels like cheating especially if we at the talking by phone stage

      Could be looked at in 3 ways either he’s secure in his own skin and doesn’t mind you talking to others

      He’s testing the water to see if your loyal

      Or he’s looking to see if he can go and carry on chatting up other women

      But the fact he’s not text back to me says red flag and it’s number 3

    • Gerard371 1st April 2022 at 8:22 am

      Daisy have you a witness who can corroborate your version of events?

      I put it to you that you were slow to answer to “oi”, and the result was that when you did answer, he fell off his perch, and broke his phone.

      I think Daisy should pay the courts costs and my considerable fee.

      • Blauro 1st April 2022 at 9:13 am

        Apart from presentation of a copy of the transcript between our clients, there would be little chance of a witness to a private dating site conversation.
        The speed at which the aggressive use of the word Oi was responded to has little bearing on what happened after that point.
        I feel that the defence has nothing to build a case on your honour and suggest that it should be dismissed forthwith.

      • Mo001 1st April 2022 at 9:50 am

        In the absence of Judge Rinder, we’ll have to use common sense in this case and say Daisy you appear to be completely innocent.

        Your lawyer appears to be driven by the truth, however the defense attorney appears to be driven by a big pay out.

        Unless any new evidence appears, there surely can only be one outcome.

      • Robbo 1st April 2022 at 10:47 am


      • Daisy 1212 1st April 2022 at 4:09 pm

        Don’t hold your breath!! 😂 😂

      • Vice 23rd April 2022 at 7:41 pm


    • RayH 1st April 2022 at 8:24 am

      Perhaps he was on multiple texts messages, hit the wrong name to say “Oi” to and feels embarrassed and a bit stupid for doing so… Back to Blauro and Gerard to debate.

    • debm19 1st April 2022 at 9:22 am

      🤣🤣 you guys crack me up, and brighten my morning, I look forward to the closing arguments 🙂

    • debm19 1st April 2022 at 9:51 am

      I reread you message and I would say when you said ‘I don’t go on it much’, I don’t think that answered his question and he probably wants to know if you chatting with other men the same as you are to him maybe, I’m new to dating so haven’t a clue to be fair, and it sounds like a minefield lol, but I tend to see the good in people which could be my down fall.
      I came off the dating site before I engaged with anyone as I realised I wasn’t ready after reading horror stories on here 😅.
      I’m chatting to a lovely guy at the moment I met online we have exchanged numbers and messages so personally I wouldn’t engage in private chats with others whilst chatting to him but if he was I wouldn’t mind if it came to dating/ meeting up with me and others I would hope he would be honest and tell me, I think if people are upfront about stuff even if it’s I don’t know what I want or where its going that helps. But I feel its unfair to play games with people’s emotions and feelings.
      If you like him just message him and ask, he may be testing if you are seeing what else is out there! In a strange way. And remember men are as insecure and probably clueless as we are with the opposite see. Good luck x

    • Gerard371 1st April 2022 at 10:33 am

      Ok my closing argument.

      A man needs a new car. He knows what he want and goes and buys it.

      He wants a woman, obviously he can’t buy her, although she will end up costing him a small fortune in the long run, but I digress.
      So he goes on a dating site, See’s a pic, yep she’ll do.

      But guess what, she also has a shopping list, a very long one. He must be nice, he must be a bad boy, he must have long hair, he must have short hair, he should have loads of tattoos, he should have no tattoos, the list goes on and on.

      So the poor blighter is totally confused, and thinks sod it, I’ll change my car instead.

      I think my closing argument shows why he said “oi” and there rests my case.

    • Robert K 1st April 2022 at 10:47 am

      Up here in the Public Gallery I am enjoying this. Thank you all for a great laugh!

    • Gerard371 1st April 2022 at 11:18 am

      Ok, I’m having a ☕ while the jury are deliberating.

    • Shell69 1st April 2022 at 12:57 pm

      Sometimes messages can be ambiguous and can get lost in translation. It seems odd he’s not replied though so your suspicion may be right. I think Blauro and Gerard would make good barristers !

    • Woodcrafter-Keith 1st April 2022 at 2:06 pm

      You guys crease me up 🤣🤣🤣

    • Jacqui 26 1st April 2022 at 2:26 pm

      Just be careful and go with your gut instinct. 😄

    • Daisy 1212 1st April 2022 at 4:13 pm

      Thank you all so much for such wonderful words of wisdom and with so much humour thrown in.. 😂 😂 😂 Really made my day..
      Ive just looked at my phone and he has now deleted his profile.. Will delete and block.. 😂
      Phew.. The relief of bullet dodging is good 😊

      • Gerard371 1st April 2022 at 4:44 pm

        On a more serious note, the fact that he deleted his profile could indicate he might already in a relationship, but we’ll never know.

        Shame on those who wouldn’t listen to me when I said he was a wrong’un, tut tut you lot.

        • Daisy 1212 1st April 2022 at 6:27 pm

          I meant to say deleted his what’s app profile. I havent been back on the site to see if he is still there.. Either way, I’m out.. 😂 😂 Xx

    • MikeyG 1st April 2022 at 4:50 pm

      The world of dating is just so confusing and has changed so much, in this particular case the guy was clearly a fruitbat and only looking for one specific thing and it wasn’t a quick glass of something bubbly,
      My view is if you have found someone that you have a mutual like for and you seem to have hit it off then I personally wouldn’t converse with others from said dating site, but everyone’s views on that are different and should be respected……but it’s definitely a minefield and I’m now currently dating a coffee & walnut cake instead as that’s easier to understand 😂😂😂

    • Big Chick 1st April 2022 at 6:09 pm

      take care and watch out for sickos

    • Linpap 2nd April 2022 at 5:05 pm

      My word like a good courtroom drama !

    • Daisy 1212 3rd April 2022 at 8:20 am

      The f#@k ups in my life I could probably provide a whole season.. Lol 😁

    • Silverclarity 17th April 2022 at 4:54 pm

      Move on.

    • adeliza0165 17th April 2022 at 6:26 pm

      He’s probably flirting too.

      I think that’s really disrespectful of him to call you ‘oi’ – who does he think he is! Spell your name out to him and tell him it’s not ‘oi’

      I don’t think he’s a very nice man Daisy – if hes already like this, I dread to think how he would treat you 😐

      • WEST MIDLANDER 22nd April 2022 at 12:26 pm

        I am also in the gallery (not the rogue) and have to speak up about the word oi.
        This could be a translavanian expletive, meaning ‘shucks’….but my translavian friend is working nights at the .o.ent and not available to give more info

    • Daisy 1212 17th April 2022 at 11:48 pm

      So, to add insult to injury, I persevered on the dating site. Chatted and then wen ton a wonderful first date with another man. 6 hours we spent together, walking, talking, lunch. Totally lovely. Yesterday arranged a second date for tomorrow. Then late this eve, he texts to say, sorry can’t make to. Someone had messaged him out of blue, who he had dated a few times, and he was going to see how things go again with them before dating anyone else.. Ffs.. I am done!!

      • Blauro 18th April 2022 at 6:35 am

        I haven’t tried dating sites myself personally but imagine you must be disappointed Daisy, especially as the date had already been agreed.
        Perhaps you could also search for some local meet up groups in your area that you could join, as another way of meeting new people? 😊

      • Woodcrafter-Keith 18th April 2022 at 6:44 am

        Oh daisy sorry to hear you’ve been messed about again sounds like you have about as much luck on dating sites as I do
        I’ve given up on them now decided I’m not going to waste anymore time and money on them

        I’d rather forge friendships on places like this and go from there

      • adeliza0165 18th April 2022 at 6:44 am

        Sorry to hear that but ive been there too – there are a lot of users and time wasters out there – they know what you want to hear then do the opposite.

        Maybe try it differently… If you are into walking or running, maybe find out if there’s a local group you could join. If there are any evening classes going on, join one. If you like the gym, maybe go along to one…. it’s amazing how many people you get chatting to…. and you never know…😊

        • Daisy 1212 18th April 2022 at 7:14 am

          I joined a walking group, but haven’t been able to join on many, as they are often in the week, when I’m working.. I’m sticking with the friends I’ve got. I’m done with new people atm.

      • Heidi 18th April 2022 at 1:59 pm

        This sort of thing has happened to me Daisy, totally unexpected responses after what seemed like a promising start. I have always wondered if this sort of ‘previous contact/girlfriend/wife’ is a useful get-out clause?

      • Lorraine1 22nd April 2022 at 12:37 pm

        But at least he was honest about his reason and didn’t decide to see both you …

      • Sandyg 11th June 2022 at 3:31 pm

        Iv had very similar experience , 2 orc3 times actually It’s like, they feel the need to ‘try out’ going out with someone else to confirm thst they reslkycwant to be with a particular someone who is likely available to them but they’re just not sure…..

      • Maureen2020 3rd July 2022 at 10:45 pm


    • SouthernSoftie 18th April 2022 at 12:03 pm

      I think the first guy was paranoid. If they use dating sites a lot they know people shop around. You have to start talking to a few people at the start to then decide who you would like to meet. He didn’t like the fact you might still be looking for more options. Sounded like a slap on the wrist.

      • Daisy 1212 18th April 2022 at 12:14 pm

        I think you are right! I chatted to quite a lot of people on there. The man I went out with on sat, appeared lovely. And was a real slap in the face surprise when he messaged to cancel 2nd date.. I’ve deleted the app now.. Takes up too much head space.. 😬 I’m perfectly happy single. Just thought someone to share things with mght be fun.. Apparently not… Lol..

        • SouthernSoftie 18th April 2022 at 12:19 pm

          Yes Daisy it does take up too much head space. Can be very disappointing. I did online dating for around ten years on and off. Met some lovely people. Have not been online now for three years. Cannot face doing a profile and going through the whole thing again, its a can of worms. I am happy and content but would like to share life on occasions. Miss male company too.

        • Daisy 1212 18th April 2022 at 12:26 pm

          💯 % agree with you 🙏

        • RobertJ 9th May 2022 at 2:16 pm

          Hi Daisy. I’ve come to this a little late but I thought I would throw my twopennuth in. In the first case, it sounds like you’ve been ghosted. In the second, I fear that he was attached and may be just looking for nice dates with attractive ladies- perhaps just to prove to himself that he still can! Don’t take it personally. I’m sure you are wise enough to appreciate there are some not very pleasant people around. But there are others who are certainly worthy of yourattention and who will treat you with the respect you clearly deserve.

        • Daisy 1212 9th May 2022 at 2:20 pm

          Thank you. In a turn of events. 2nd date guy. Got back in touch. Saying he really would like a second date, if I would. Been together ever since 😊

        • RobertJ 9th May 2022 at 2:24 pm

          Well that great 😁 shows what I know 🤣 x

        • Sandyg 11th June 2022 at 3:35 pm

          wie ! Do he went back to the other woman in question, tried that pout, devised the grass was greener on your side of the fence after all !! ..we you be sure to remind him of this anytime he gets less than attentive! Remind him how lucky he is that you gave him another chance !

    • WEST MIDLANDER 22nd April 2022 at 12:36 pm

      As i mentioned earlier, the word oi is a Translavanian expletive for ‘shucks’. My Translavanian friend, who was working nights….has just woken up and gone into his dark room, because of his photohobia. But before he ventured into the dark room, he mentioned that ‘oi’ is indeed an expletive for shucks and linked to tremendous dissappointment.

      So, i agree with the overall verdict, although the defence attorney was obviously a Perry Mason devotee.

    • WEST MIDLANDER 22nd April 2022 at 1:01 pm

      Looking up the word in Uri, it can have a hint of agression to it.

    • Grapes 22nd April 2022 at 5:41 pm

      Stay well clear

    • Aconite 7th May 2022 at 6:30 pm

      Instinct is the common lawyer and you are right to be concerned by the choice of words and where it should appear to be going…

    • Georgeo 21st June 2022 at 8:55 am

      Weird it sounds like all was going really well

    • Forestbather 21st June 2022 at 9:01 am

      I would ask him straight out.

      “Do you have a problem with me chatting on this site? That’s why I joined it, and presumably, so did you. I’m just confused by your question and what lies behind it so am not sure how to respond.”

      This way he will have to reveal if he is a controlling weirdo or not.

      (Although it doesn’t sound great tbh.)

    • Forestbather 21st June 2022 at 9:03 am

      OMG I’ve just realised this is a zombie thread.

      The previous comments did not come up when I entered the post.

      This site is weird.

      Glad you escaped your weirdo.

    • TmonT 3rd July 2022 at 11:31 pm

      WTH is going on i am very confused with all the legal 🙄 involvement

    • Staying Alive 4th July 2022 at 6:07 am

      I got one a few days ago. Not from dating site but here.a new comer, he DM Had a picture then he didn’t.🤷🏽‍♀️ Calls me honey straight away 🤷🏽‍♀️ then wants to chat on WhatsApp 🤷🏽‍♀️.

      I’ve put him straight in the bin. Plonker 😂🤣

      • Smileyday 5th July 2022 at 8:28 pm

        I got him too, reported him as a scammer and got a reply back to say thank you, they have given him the 🥾 as he was a BIG scammer

      • VFP 5th July 2022 at 8:41 pm

        I got one guy about a week ago, reported him and RL confirmed it was a scammer. I got another one a few days ago, reported him too and it was another scammer! If anyone DMs you without ever having engaged in forum conversations or having any type of history on the site, they’re probably a scammer.

    • Sonny1234 5th July 2022 at 2:59 pm

      It reads to me like he writes as he talks , he’s probably trying to find out if you do flirt & the Oi is his way of attracting your attention if he thinks your chatting to somebody else , I think these sites are like having a pen pal , some people tend to big themselves up on a keyboard as they are tongue tied in social situations, don’t take it personally, he will no doubt be chatting to others too so take it for what it is as you won’t know about anybody until you both start meeting on a regular basis which I would imagine is a major step to take , & if he doesn’t want you chatting to anybody else but him at this stage , walk away girl & don’t ever look back !!!
      Best of luck .