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Poems that make you laugh – or at least smile🥴
I enjoy writing And reading light hearted and humorous poems, and would love to Share with like minded folk, just for fun, nothing heavy.
Is there anyone out there?
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<b>New me New diet</b>
I’m really going to do it this time
I’m going to start when I run out of crisps and I finish this bottle of wine
I’ve found a new plan on the internet
Takes 6 weeks, and it’s called, ‘Wellbeing to Succeed’
When I’ve finished the cheese in the fridge
I just replace everything with leaves
It says you can eat any colour you like
You can boil, poach, or liquidise
And if you eat nothing else for a month
You’ll drop 6” off your thighs
It says you don’t have to do any classes
You just channel your energy within.
So I don’t have to leave the sofa
I just lie there and think myself thin
When I’ve finished this box set
I’m gonna jump in the car and get myself round to Asda
Coz if I really want to think myself thin, I think I should do it in Lycra.
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Made me smile.
A SILLY POEM
Five people waiting
For a bus that’s late
When one man said
How you doin’ mate?
Four people looked at him
Didn’t say a word,
Silence at the bus-stop
As if they hadn’t heard.
Along came a puppy
With no-one on his lead,
His ears all floppy
And his eyes begin to plead.
Five people waiting
For a bus that’s late
Ahhd and oood in wonderment,
What would be his fate?
Along came the bus
But no-one had the heart
To leave that little puppy
As the bus began to park.
Doors flew open
Man yelled ‘Hurry up’
Five people looked and said
“I’ll take the little pup.”
MAKES ME LAUGH
She was a glam puss
My aunt
Till the day she died
She wore her bling.
Confined to bed in her last months
A morning ritual it became.
Wasn’t dressed if she didn’t
Have, on every finger a ring.
With matching gems in her ears.
At 96 thick natural blonde curly hair
Had not a grey in sight and no colouring for her.
Jealous I was and I told her so.
She chose the ones to be buried in
And colour coded outfit to go.
Oh yes, and what else to make her comfy
In her new coffin home.
Slippers of course,
Teabags, and her hair brush.
And a small pillow to rest her head.
And spare ear-rings just in case.
Good she was slight and short
Or there would be no room
For the family photo gallery.
She is where she wanted to be
Her grave site chosen carefully
Next to the railings
Right by the road.
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