I enjoy writing And reading light hearted and humorous poems, and would love to Share with like minded folk, just for fun, nothing heavy.
Is there anyone out there?
Joliv1202 15th January 2021 at 11:30 pm
The boy stood on the burning deck…silly bastard..
Deleted User 19th January 2021 at 4:58 pm
My poetry is mostly serious – on green issues and looking after our earth rather better than we do now. Sorry. You may have this though if you like, It speaks of finding joy in small things whatever the circumstances
I saw a Jay
The brightest of the crows
In gayest garb.
The bleak, bare branches,
Gobbling the last few berries
Across the silent vale,
Where cold frost clung
To twigs and grass,
A white rump flashing
Marking his every movement
Continuous cold held sway;
The forest floor,
Frozen and hard,
In the harsh grip of winter.
No sparkling sunbeams split
The sombre skies.
The winter chill,
Veiling the valley,
Brought me no cheering comfort
But then today
I saw a Jay
Anonymous User (no longer active) 16th February 2021 at 4:17 pm
Ok I have a few that should make your belly rolling.
That’s the same valentine card you got me last year, “that’s because my feelings for you haven’t changed” 🤣😂
My boss asked me to start the presentation with the joke , so I put my payslip on the first slide.🤣😂
Do you ever look at your body and regret , all the junk food you’ve eaten then, proceed to comfort yourself by eating more junk food 🤣😂
If you work from home you might go multiple days without speaking to another human being but they are the downsides too 🤣😂
When a hostess at a restaurant says “table for two”. I like to act surprised and “say you can see him too” 🤣😂
Yogagirl 18th February 2021 at 8:38 pm
Yes I love comedy in poetry… And I try to add that to mine … I always loved Pam ayres … So she is great inspiration!!!
Deleted User 21st February 2021 at 9:14 am
I have previously posted on this site, without a single acknowledgement. So have now deleted my posts.
Anonymous User (no longer active) 23rd February 2021 at 10:05 am
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realised I had a desperate need to pass gas. The music was really, Really loud, So I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I’ve finished my coffee, and noticed that everyone was staring at me…… then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod 🤣😂🤣😂
Anonymous User (no longer active) 23rd February 2021 at 10:16 am
I’m never lonely because I have four men in my life….
I get up with Charlie Horse.
I spend the day with Arthur Itis.
I’ve done with Will Power.
And I go to bed with Ben Gay 🤣😂
I’m having a threesome today
Frankie Benny and Jerry
(Ice cream )🤣😂
barefoot steve 23rd February 2021 at 1:28 pm
Thanks for your jokes- made me smile 😊I looked in my attic today and was amazed to find a Stradivarius and a constable!
Only trouble is Stradivarius couldn’t paint and constable’s violin is crap.
Anonymous User (no longer active) 1st March 2021 at 7:54 am
Good morning Monday morning
My first job was at an orange juice factory. Sadly, I got canned….
I couldn’t concentrate 🤣😂
Anonymous User (no longer active) 25th March 2021 at 10:19 am
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time…
And a well-known art critic is in attendance.
The critic Says to the young artist, “would you like my opinion on your work?”
“Yes, says the artist.
“It’s worthless,” says the critic
The artist replies, “ I know but tell me anyway”. 🤣😂🤣😂
Anonymous User (no longer active) 25th March 2021 at 3:34 pm
Thou sodden- witted Lord! Thou hasty no more brain than I have in mine elbows.
2: I do bite my thumb, sir.
3: Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.
4: Go, prick thy face and over-red thy fear,/ Thou lily-livered boy.
5: I do desire we may be better stranges.
6: There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.
7: Thou whoreson zed thou unnecessary letter!
8: You are not worth another word else I’d call you knave.
9: You Banbury cheese.
10: I am sick when I do look on thee.
Good Luck Everyone I’ll Post Answers tomorrow about 6:pm ✅
Anonymous User (no longer active) 29th March 2021 at 7:54 am
Here is the Answers to the Shakespeare Quotes
1: Troilus And Cressida
2: Romeo And Juliet
3: Timon Of Athens
5: As you Like
6: Henry IV
7: King Lear
8: All’s Well That Ends Well
9: Merry Wives Of Windsor
10: A Midsummer Night’s Dream
lindacdone 28th March 2021 at 4:39 pm
Another giggle for you all
The Adult shop
I told the assistant about the bedroom antics
How we were more about snoring and less about romantic
And she offered to make up a pack
The top sellers to bring the life back
The first was the master vibrator
Well I wasn’t sure where it would fit
So I told her we’d leave that one
Till wed got things going a bit
Then she showed me 3 little tubes
Scented, sensuality creams and lubes
Well I just thought it would be a bit messy
make things a bit more slippery than sexy
I told her it might stain me sheets
Leave that one for next week
She brought out a book with short stories
Said each one was erotic and spicy
But at nearly £8 each
I thought they were a bit pricey
Then she got me a peep hole bra
But there was nothing bigger than extra large
So I had an idea
I left the shop
I’ve cut some holes in the bra I’ve got
And really at our age that’s enough for Jack
I don’t want to give him a heart attack.
Deleted User 4th March 2022 at 6:04 pm
I thought you wanted OUR funny poems – not Spike Milligan’s So here is one of mine for a smile
I do love the dainty lass who lives across the way
She has a cheerful, chubby face, her name is Daisy May
I do love a bit of cheese a-melting on me toast
My Daisy uses Wensleydale that what I like the most.
I do love her apple pie with lots of clotted cream
She makes it with sultanas in, it really tastes a dream
I do love some crackling with a juicy Sunday roast
But my Daisy’s goose with trimmings is what I love the most
I do love a-holding hands with lovely Daisy May
And when I popped the question she agreed to name the day
She’s an angel in the kitchen, you should taste her rabbit stew
And I just can’t wait until the day she sweetly says “I do”
Deleted User 15th March 2022 at 11:58 am
Hope you enjoy this.
Algernon Ponsonby Battersley Plim
Was awfully jolly – but just a bit dim.
As an infant in arms he would chuckle and coo,
Though his other end often made people say “phew.”
His face was a picture of childish delight
As he failed to push shapes through the holes which were right.
His sweet smile as a toddler attracted acclaim;
But he did not appear to recall his own name.
At school he was popular – “jolly old Plim,”
Though the three “R”s it seems were a mystery to him.
They all liked young Algie and found him such fun;
Yet at cricket he always forgot he should run.
On social occasions his manners were good;
His intelligence, sadly, was rather like wood.
Though he found conversation a bit of a chore,
Since he made people happy they came back for more.
His Pa was concerned that he never would find
A suitable wife of the upper class kind.
Still he found a young filly he wanted to please,
So he sent her some flowers – but they just made her sneeze.
At the annual hunt ball he was keen to impress
As he whirled her around – and then trod on her dress.
They went for a picnic, the weather was fine;
But he couldn’t work out how to open the wine.
Still this lovely young filly did not seem to mind,
She told all her fwends he was “fwightfully kind.”
They were married at last, the wedding was grand –
Though he did put the ring on the girlie’s wrong hand.
He’d booked for a honeymoon full of romance;
In a far away place, ‘neath the moon they would dance.
But his cheque sort of bounced; and they had to make do
With a room at his Aunt’s and a trip to the zoo.
Ecstatically happy he lived out his life;
And his children adored him and so did his wife.
I must end my tale here and I hope you will note
There’s a moral within this short tale wot I wrote
For it all goes to show that the world will not mind
If you’re just a bit dim – – if you’re cheerful and kind.