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Linzshuff Posted 1 year ago
Pet bereavement

Hi, does anyone have any advice or help on losing a pet? I lost my cat yesterday after 11 years. She wasn’t I’ll, but had arthritis in her hips and I was given medication for her. The day I started it I could see she was panting rapidly. 3 days later i found her dead on the floor. I am having trouble living with myself as i should have stopped the medication. I feel so guilty.

1 like & 27 replies
    • Blauro 7th March 2021 at 6:30 pm

      Hi Linzshuff,
      I’m sorry to hear that you’ve lost your cat. Pets are like family members and their loss is always hard to bear.
      Did your vet prescribe the medication for her?

    • Gardener52 7th March 2021 at 6:45 pm

      I’m so sorry you lost your beloved cat and I really feel for you regarding how you feel my advice would be you had your cat for 11 years and that’s a good time to be a brilliant cat mum we make decisions sometimes that aren’t always quick enough or wish we could do things differently please try not to feel guilty your cat had a wonderful life by the sounds of it grief can make us feel all sorts of stuff sending love and as a cat owner and animal lover I feel your pain really sad Xx

    • Deleted User 7th March 2021 at 9:09 pm

      You obviously loved and cared for her for 11 years . You were not to know that she was going to react like she did to the meds . Please don’t blame yourself . Remember the happy times .

    • Goose 7th March 2021 at 9:10 pm

      Hey, hi, I lost my cat too earlier this year, it is soul destroying, the pain, and guilt seemed endless, such is our love for them, deep was the bond, it is bound to hurt. I truly understand that feeling hard to live with yourself as I feel I missed the signs, that should have been clear. It’s an awful feeling. But we feel guilty because we love them sooo much. Sending hugs.

    • loislane 7th March 2021 at 11:01 pm

      I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved cat, I hate losing a pet, mine is approaching 11 years and I hope there may be more.
      I think we all believe we should do more and yes, of course, we believe our vets do their best because they’re experts. You did your best, that’s all you can do. They are our family aren’t they. May help to talk to the vet about this.
      I do wish you well and hope your grief will ease as time passed.xx

      • Linzshuff 8th March 2021 at 6:11 am

        Hi, yes I am going to speak to my vet. Thank you x

        • Lovetohelp 26th March 2021 at 7:20 pm

          Hi so sorry for your loss. Its heartbreaking 💔. We lost our cat of over 14 years at the end of December last year so I know how you feel. I found him trying to breathe in the morning, which was absolutely devastating and couldn’t help him. We love them so much, we feel guilty thinking we should have done more. You gave her a beautiful happy life for 11 years, with lots of love and that’s something amazing to remember. Give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself. You did the best you could for her. 🐈😢🙏

        • Linzshuff 27th March 2021 at 7:53 am

          Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’m so sorry for your loss too. I think there will always be the ‘if onlys’, but hopefully as you say, time will heal. Thank you again for your kindness ❤

        • Lovetohelp 27th March 2021 at 8:26 am

          Thank you… have a lovely day 😊

    • Marica 26th March 2021 at 7:26 pm

      Linzshuff, I think anyone who loses a pet has similar feelings, we did not do enough or recognize signs in time. I certainly did with our dog who died 3 years ago and still struggle with her death . Animals cannot tell us and this is the problem. But as other have said, you were a wonderful mum to your cat and should never feel guilty , she was with you and loved you . It does take a while, I still have a little shrine on my sideboard as my son and I loved her.

      • Linzshuff 27th March 2021 at 7:49 am

        Thank you for your kind words Marcia. It’s been 3 weeks today and I still cried when I got up this morning, but I feel a little braver x

        • Marica 27th March 2021 at 2:19 pm

          Sadly , I think you will be like this for a while. My son and I cried on and off (he is 31!) for about 2-3 months but it did lessen . I have a little shrine on our sideboard of her picture , her wooden box of ashes and some dog fur that a kind lady spun up for me with some small candles and a light up twig ornament. Ohers may think I am mad, but it is lovely to still see her every day

        • Linzshuff 28th March 2021 at 9:15 am

          Hi, I’m so sorry for your own sad loss. That’s beautiful. I have done similar and it will always be there. Thank you x

        • Marica 28th March 2021 at 5:21 pm

          No problem. 🙂

    • Linda S 31st March 2021 at 2:35 pm

      Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Blue Cross have an excellent support service for those going through the grief of pet loss. You can call, email or live chat with one of their trained volunteers.

    • Mimulus 1st April 2021 at 8:42 am

      There is a pet bereavement group on Facebook. Blue Cross offer pet bereavement help too.

    • Paula’splace 1st April 2021 at 6:18 pm

      Hi Linshuff
      Sorry for your loss, I felt guilty too as my poor Rufus had a tumour in his stomach he had been a bit listless. but was eating ok. Then on this morning, he came into
      the kitchen and just collapsed on the floor. I picked him up and rushed him to the vet who gave him painkillers, it broke my heart when they bought him out with a bandage on his leg and a line in it. He was 16 years old and the vet pointed out that was a good age for a dog but nothing they could do. I held him in my arms while they put him to sleep. I do recall the vet being less than sympathetic it was 5.30 pm and they wanted to go home, they made me pay before they did it.
      It’s not like they didn’t know me, I was so cross when they asked me if they wanted to add cremation fees I said no ! put him in the boot of my car. .No sorry for your loss nothing! just wanted to get me out and get home. They did say nothing could be done for him – I still think well maybe not by you lot but another vet may have – but I have to be realistic he was a good age.
      Don’t feel guilty 11 is also a good age and you can imagine the pain of arthritis she is out of pain and resting in peace.
      I said I could not bear the pain of losing another dog,
      But this was me six months later new Puppy Odin (3 years old now )
      R,I,P RUFUS we had some great time together.
      Make yourself a garden memorial or frame your favourite picture.
      to remember her.
      So Rufus is buried in the garden. under a Cherry tree I planted and with a little stone plaque too.

      • Linzshuff 2nd April 2021 at 8:21 am

        Hello Paula
        Thank you so much for coming back to me. Your story is so sad. If they have to go, at least let the time be gentle and caring and the vets should honour that both with pet and owner. I have considered rescuing an older cat so they could have a happy end of life home, but I’m not ready yet. Have a beautiful life with Odin, and fond memories of Rufus xx

    • Paula119 2nd April 2021 at 8:52 am

      You know Linzshuff ,I used to spend a lot of time with my dear Nan as she was a widow from a young age and as a teenager I would make fun of her constant ‘in my day’ but I find myself now not even like my mother – I’ve become my Nan today’s society lacks empathy, good service it’s all about making money . Obviously not everyone- but standards have dropped and all this cowardly trolling if you can’t say something nice – shut your ugly mouth I hope they make that a crime.. I also looked at getting a rescue German Shepherd and I looked at four but they could not provide any accurate health records – behaviour issues and they wanted to inspect the size of my home and bank account so that and other factors put me off. I’m sure it will be easier to rescue a cat – when you are ready and he or she will ease your pain. Take care enjoy the weekend . Paula X

    • MargaretMags 2nd April 2021 at 9:10 am

      So sorry for your loss. I think guilt is a part of grief whatever the circumstances. You just have to work through it and remember the 11 happy years you had together. Take care.x

    • Ethamor 20th September 2021 at 2:46 pm

      So sorry for your sad loss! It’s tough to lose them. They are part of our hearts. A piece of advice from me would be to have a yearly examination of your pets. This is how you can prevent unidentified diseases and make them stay as long as possible with you. Having insurance saves a lot of money and eliminates the thought of not spending too much on check-ups. Maybe you can read here the benefits of it https://www.petinsurancereview.com/is-pet-insurance-worth-it. I love my dog so much, and I can’t imagine my life without him. I can’t even think that there would arrive a day when this will happen.