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Smoggy Posted 6 months ago
Nonsense Poetry

Hello all
I’m a big fan of nonsense poetry and daft limericks, anyone got any that you’ve written 😃

2 likes & 24 replies
    • Popswood 27th February 2022 at 4:26 pm

      Here’s one I wrote last year

      • Smoggy 27th February 2022 at 10:25 pm

        Total nonsense, but great 👍

      • Linde 5th March 2022 at 7:15 am

        Great one, very funny! Reminds me of some songs we practised with Primary school children: There was a man, lived in the moon, lived in the moon, lived in the moon, and his name was Aiken Drum.
        And he played upon a ladle, a ladle, ….and his name was Aiken Drum.
        His face was made of good cream cheese, of good cream cheese, of good cream cheese, and his name….his buttons were made of penny loaves,… they loved making up their own version, they got funnier every time!

    • Popswood 28th February 2022 at 10:03 am

      Smoggy, does this count as a nonsense poem?

    • Deleted User 28th February 2022 at 11:37 am

      I love nonsense poetry, it is an art form all of its own.
      I am sharing with you, a silly poem from my book, Rhymes that make you say Ooh, Hah and Yuk. I hope you like it.


      I awoke to see a spider, walking overhead
      I heard his feet go stomping, as I lay in my bed.
      I screamed, he screamed, it’s a nightmare we all dread,
      He ran across the ceiling, as I jumped from my bed.
      He climbed down to the light switch, looking for a hide,
      I stood completely shaken, my eyes were growing wide,
      He ran, I ran not knowing where, and backed up to the wall,
      I wanted to get out of there, but my legs froze, I recall
      I turned, I saw him staying still; he stared, and saw me too,
      I screamed, he screamed, we screamed, not knowing what to do.
      In a shaky voice I said to him, please go away from me,
      He said no way am I leaving, this is my territory.
      I replied I live here arachnid, this is my lovely home,
      He replied I don’t need company, I was happy here alone.
      Surprised at what he told me, we had to make a plan,
      He asked, could we live together, please say yes, be a man.
      I said so we must compromise, if we want harmony,
      As neither of us want to leave, do you have trust in me?
      You can have the bedroom solely, but I want all the wall,
      You can use the kitchen also, but I always sleep in the hall,
      We’ll have to share the bathroom, as long as I don’t drown,
      But I promise to keep hidden when all your friends are around.
      If you promise not to tread on me, I won’t run up your leg,
      Or frighten you unnecessarily, as you lay in your bed.
      During the long hot lockdown, sharing didn’t seem that bad,
      As through that so lonely time, he was the best friend that I had.
      I gave him many treats and snacks, he kept away the flies,
      He really was a greedy eater, considering his size.
      I left him tasty morsels of silverfish and gnat,
      And he kept away the bugs and fleas that bothered my old cat.
      Then autumn came too quickly and he dropped down to the floor,
      And I found him later, legs curled up, his time with me, no more.

      The strangest part, I noticed, when I finally thought it through,
      I lived through covid 19 with a talking spider, Yahoo.

    • Joypm 28th February 2022 at 4:35 pm

      Hi. A short one for you.
      There was a young lady from Worcester
      who picked up a large feather duster.
      She held it up high
      to dust clouds in the sky
      but a gust of wind blew
      and we lost her.

    • Matisselover 1st March 2022 at 7:24 pm

      ‘Me and Aunt Nan’

      To the rhythm of ‘The Peddlar Man’ by David Rands

      I like a sandwich thick with jam,
      With a crust of bread like a frying pan!
      Who will make it nobody knows,
      My aunt or me, who will be chose!

      My Aunt Nan has eyebrows, two,
      And a moustache of red, that the wind blows through;
      She has a bike, with mudguards brown,
      And she goes gliding around the town!

      Goggles on and hopes are high,
      She rams first gear and heads for the sky;
      Speed checks, gaskets, over the border,
      Edinburgh Glasgow in that order!

      The bread is brown and the jam is green,
      My aunt is just like a flying machine;
      The lunch is gone and she can say,
      Over the hills and far away!

      With Auntie Nan I should like to roam,
      All the long day until I get home;
      All the people will stop to look,
      At me and Aunt Nan the crazy cook!

      Well I’m no great shakes but I did have fun writing this. I did a poetry writing course during the first lockdown and loved the freedom to have a go at all sorts of poetry, including daft ones like this. I can cringe now reading it where I can see the rhythm and rhyme stall but great fun

    • Staying Alive 1st March 2022 at 7:47 pm

      Here’s one I did a while back.

      Poetry and emotion

      Life’s expectation
      this great explanation!
      Oh but wait what are Temptation.
      Filled with manipulation
      And no consideration.
      Now left in anticipation,
      With no clarification
      With out recognition,
      Just argumentation
      And no justification.
      The missed interpretation,
      There’s no communication
      I don’t need your recommendation
      Just an explanation
      With out discrimination
      With a new transformation
      Just my realisation
      Without your reflection.



    • Popswood 5th March 2022 at 10:45 am

      The Sardine and the Kipper

    • Staying Alive 5th March 2022 at 11:23 am

      One day in them middle of the night,
      Two dead boys got up to a fight.
      Back -to- back they faced each other.
      Drew they are swords and shot each other
      A deaf policeman heard the noise,
      And rushed to save the two dead boys.
      A paralysed donkey walking by,
      Kicked the copper in the eye
      Sent him through a rubber wall,
      Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
      (If you don’t believe this lie is true, ask the blind man— he saw it too!)

      On the Ning Nang Nong

      On the Ning Nang Nong
      Where the cows go bong!
      And the monkeys all say boo
      There is a Nong Nang Ning
      Where the trees go ping
      And the tea tops jibber jabber joo.
      On the Nong Ning Nang
      All the mice go Clang
      And you just can’t watch em when they do
      So it’s Ning Nang Nong
      Cows go bong
      Nong nang Ning
      Trees go Ping
      Nong Ning nang
      The mice clang
      What a noisy place to belong
      Is the Ning nang nang nong

      Spike Milligan

    • Popswood 5th March 2022 at 2:22 pm

      A shape poem

    • Popswood 15th March 2022 at 8:13 am

      Hope this fits the bill?

    • Deleted User 16th March 2022 at 7:56 am

      That is very clever.

    • Pennypitstop 18th March 2022 at 4:26 pm

      Me and my partner have a funny habit of rhyming things in everyday conversations.
      Like …Today I met Smoggy and it was really foggy, the ground was boggy and I started feeling groggy, i fell over and my pants got soggy etc etc it is quite funny and you are not allowed any repeats. with some words you can go on quite a long time. The family think we are bonkers but hey ho it makes us smile. 🙂