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Coopes Posted 4 months ago
My husband died 4 years ago, we have 3 daughters now 17. 20 & 23. I have spent all this time supporting them and their obvious grief, even suicide attempts. It’s emotionally exhausting. How am I suppose to grieve.
1 like & 10 replies
    • Deleted User 13th September 2021 at 11:36 pm

      I don’t think there’s an easy answer to that question, it’s the hardest thing trying to be strong for your family when deep down inside your hurting like hell.

    • loislane 14th September 2021 at 12:02 am

      Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss and I can understand you’ve had to put aside your own grieving. Bit I think it’s time you concentrated on you and your own mourning processes.
      I would suggest Cruse, a bereavement centre who specialise in this, at least you can start the process for you, and have that time for yourself.

    • Lonewolf28 14th September 2021 at 9:39 am

      Sorry to hear ,seems taken on too much ,especially in view of what’s happened,was wondering if you’ve spoken about your feelings to your children ,as in their grief they have forgotten yours ,perhaps grieve together if possible,bring you much closer too ,,you’re in this together ,,best wishes to you

    • Fool on the hill 14th September 2021 at 9:52 am

      I’m really sorry for what you’ve gone through. My wife died nearly 4 months ago now, and my kids (25 and 23) have dealt with their loss incredibly well so far, given the circumstances. I signed up for counselling, partly for my benefit, partly to help me to help the kids, and partly to show a lead that it was OK to ask for help. Not sure if it might help in your case, but as has already been suggested, Cruse may help, not only you but your daughters. One of the things I was told was of the need to engage with my own grieving process, to be able to speak about it with my kids, where they wanted to talk, to try and be open. I’m doing my best with that.

      Not sure whether any of the above may be of help, but wish you all the best.

    • Bart Parker 14th September 2021 at 12:07 pm

      My wife passed away 5 months ago and the pain is just as raw as it was then.I don’t think there is any easy way to ease bereavement.The pathway through bereavement is as individual as the person suffering.
      I’m sure there will be lots of good advice in the replies you receive,I hope and pray thar your circumstances will become more bearable as time passes.
      Kind thoughts Bart.

    • Hi there 14th September 2021 at 6:11 pm

      My husband died ten years ago and l still feel the gut wrenching grief ….the love of my life….l feel the grief daily but l am now with new partner who was a widower and we realise after a long time
      we should in the fullness of time to show are children the way to move forward .
      It is new and raw for you all and we spoke about their dad constantly but for my mental health l joined cruse for myself and l joined a walking group and spent days out walking in nature.
      Eventually after five years we were just at the beginning of our retirement with all our lives dreams
      shattered when my husband died.
      There was a point in the very beginning after he had died twenty week illness cancer of course when l had to decide whether to live or not but slowly l decided l had to show my children same age as yours the way so joined cruse walks etc and gradually had to learn to live life without him….
      I hope some of this might help you and l send you much compassion in your journey forward.

      • loislane 5th October 2021 at 2:56 pm

        I’m sorry for your loss, but how amazingly brave you are to come through it and meet someone else. I wish you happiness.
        I’m in the process of looking to join Cruse, as I often feel my words are inadequate in these times.

    • Keith D 14th September 2021 at 6:13 pm

      I am sad to gearxofcyour loss to bereavement. It appears?that because of you supporting your fanilyvyou , haven’t b5ablexto grieve for yourself in your own way ?
      You have passed through 2 very important time lines in the grieving process ! With come at 3 months when you live on auto pilot and do things automatically.
      Then 2 years, when you begin to accept that your loved one is never going to come back into your life.
      Because you haven’t been able to grieve for yourself, or even consider yourself?
      please can I suggest that you speak to your doctor or local mental health service and refer yourself for a possible talking therapy? Of which there are several and only an expert can with guidance agree to provide with your agreement.
      May I wish you a little more happiness and less pain in your life
      Best wishes and a virtual hug .
      Keith D

    • Necz 15th September 2021 at 11:55 am

      I am so sorry for you loss. I lost my husband 9months ago so know how you feel.Have you had bereavement councilling and also maybe your daughters should it really should help Thinking if you

    • KAH 15th September 2021 at 5:08 pm

      One day at a time. I lost my husband in February after my child went off to Uni. I’m told I have to start from scratch and be the new me ?? Finding her is a tough one in itself, but day by day baby steps. Take care of you x