Home Forums Bereavement Lost my mum….feeling lost

Pollykettle Posted 1 year ago
Lost my mum….feeling lost

I lost my dear mum last November after a 20 year battle with dementia. I had spent a lot of time supporting her to give my dad a break. The funeral was December – since then I have been feeling really lost, not really knowing what to do with myself. Anyone else had similar feelings?

7 replies
    • Anonymous User (no longer active) 2nd March 2021 at 4:44 pm

      Yes I have Pollykettle, as have recently lost my husband who suffered from
      dementia. I think we miss the caring for someone and also the lockdown does not help at all. I expect your Dad is struggling too. For 20 years you have been busy helping your dad and now nothing. No one to help and care for – just nothing and you are still grieving which makes you not want to do anything anyway. Once the lockdown is over there will be a whole new world opening up for all of us carers and non carers. We will rejoice and will never forget the restrictions that we have had to put up with. It wont be long Pollykettle, in the meantime – concentrate on your Dad, Make him some soup and a cake or little chocolate cup cakes – keep some for yourself and indulge yourself too. Have a lovely bubble bath , light a few candles and then get out all cosy and warm and have a glass or two of your favourite wine or a hot chocolate. It doesnt matter on the extra ounces that you might put on – they will go when are able to be more busy.

      • Joy Sackett Wood 2nd March 2021 at 6:45 pm

        This is good advice Lexi here for you too if you want to talk

      • Pollykettle 7th March 2021 at 4:46 pm

        Thank you so much for your message. I am just starting to give myself treats and funnily enough, made a chocolate cake today! I think now the weather has slightly improved that is helping. You are right about lockdown; it has made things much worse but now there is some light at the end of that particular tunnel. Thank you again for taking the time to respond to me, I wish you all the very best. x

        • Anonymous User (no longer active) 7th March 2021 at 8:06 pm

          Thank you Pollykettle. Both you and I will come out of this dark place and emerge like a butterfly that comes out of its cocoon. There is a chink Of light there right enough. Aim for it! Ps Joy Sackett Wood has written a lovely book called Hole to Whole – a very apt title. x

    • Joy Sackett Wood 2nd March 2021 at 6:44 pm

      Hi PollyKettle, I understand, my son died 2 years ago and I am a grief counsellor, your welcome to call me if you need someone to talk to email me [email protected]

    • Goose 7th March 2021 at 9:12 pm

      Sending kindest warmth your way.