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Blackcat2 Posted 1 month ago
Loneliness and making new friends.

I lost my wonderful partner to cancer nearly 17 months ago. He was 49 years old. I do have good family support and my friends have been supportive too but I’m finding now the world is opening up everyone has gone back to their lives whilst mine is in a million pieces and I have no idea how to try and put it back together. I feel I need to make some new connections and perhaps some new friends but how do you go about this at the age of 51? I miss my partner so much especially at weekends which is when we did things together. Any connections made here would be great and any advice also. Thanks for reading.

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3 likes & 11 replies
    • Linpap 24th October 2021 at 1:34 pm

      I feel your pain lost my husband around 15 months ago still miss him like crazy and as you say the life we had together I have no advice like you I find weekends especially hard knowing that most of my friends are in couples but I just try to treat myself well enjoy and savour simple pleasures like a good cup of coffee nice food glass of wine chat to people online go for walks I have just joined a group called Meet Ups they have various activities you can go along to my local group seems quite active tho I haven’t actually been along to any yet it’s not a dating site other people on here recommended it which is how I heard about it another group I’ve joined is WAY Up (widowed and young) again they organise social get togethers both in person and via zoom and everyone is in similar position which can make socialising easier as you all share that basic level of understanding and there is an online forum everyone on there is very supportive

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      • Blackcat2 24th October 2021 at 3:27 pm

        Hi Linpap
        Thanks for your reply. It is tough isn’t it? I am a member of WAY and have been to a couple of meet ups in my area. I might look into the meetups group too and see if they are in my area.
        Thanks again, your response is much appreciated. Take care.

        Reply
    • Dave the poet 1970 24th October 2021 at 1:39 pm

      Bless you there are some lovely people on here that I’m sure will make great friends and you’ve made a step in the right direction by posting on here this is a very friendly and supportive community
      Sending you hugs

      Reply
    • vaughanpauline 24th October 2021 at 1:54 pm

      Blackcat

      like to invite you to join Silver Ladies Chatter and silver Friends, both are private Facebook groups.

      We organise on line and real life meet ups. A number of our members have been through experiences similar to the ones you have described. Both groups are very friendly and welcoming.

      I will direct message you the links

      Take care

      Pauline

      Reply
    • Chojo 24th October 2021 at 4:38 pm

      Sorry for your loss, it’s hard making friends as we get older. I turned 50 this year and feel very isolated but a lot of that is my circumstances. There are some lovely people on here who I’ve shared a laugh with, hopefully you enjoy the site. Love your picture I have a little black cat too she’s a little madam!

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    • Blackcat2 24th October 2021 at 5:00 pm

      Hi there,
      Thank you for your reply, its really appreciated. It is hard when you feel isolated through no fault of our own but just our circumstances. Already this site has been so welcoming so that’s really nice.
      Yes my little black cat…her name is Misha is a madam too! She is a spoilt lady but so affectionate and has been a support to me after my partner died. She makes me laugh on a daily basis!

      Reply
    • siandeve15 24th October 2021 at 6:54 pm

      Hi Linpap.
      I feel your loss.
      Google u3a which stands for University of the third age in your area.
      They operate groups of older people who for whatever reason are looking for company.
      There run various educational courses & have guest speakers.
      I’ve been to several it gives you something to do & helps pad out the day.
      I also volunteer for a befriending charity as I love to talk.
      I see a house-bound old man of 89 who just wants some company.
      This has been going on for the last 7 years, I usually go twice a week.
      Or become a driver for the NHS assuming you can drive & have a 4 door car.
      You drive patients to their hospital appointment & sometimes return them home again & can often go all over the UK if you want to.
      Look on the NHS website scroll don’t to the volunteer section.
      They are always looking for drivers.
      You get paid 41p per mile to cover the cost of petrol etc with no other incentive.
      If you don’t fancy any of those Google volunteering in your area & look for things you may like to try.
      I was a Wayfinder in a massive hospital in Manchester where you guide people to their appointments all over the hospital of which there are 9 hospitals in one massive area. It takes a while to learn where things are.
      There is tons of stuff out there if you want to engage.
      If all else fails you can always talk to me.
      I can easily talk the hind legs of a dinkey & then some.
      regards Simon.
      Ps. let me know how you get on or if you think I can help you in any way?
      Your call.
      Regards Simon

      Reply
    • LeighS 24th October 2021 at 7:05 pm

      Hello Blackcat2, my name is Leigh and I am a Rest Less Pioneer and I would like to welcome you to both Rest Less and the community. If you have any questions, please ask me here or message me privately.

      I have been a member of the community almost since it began and have found it to be a very welcoming and friendly place. As you have seen there are different groups for you to look at and join in any conversations that interest you. This is a good way of making friends.

      I had a look on the main site and found this article about different ways to meet new people and thought you might find it helpful:

      https://restless.co.uk/health/healthy-mind/7-different-ways-to-meet-new-people/

      If you have any comments that you would like to make about Rest Less please do let me know and I will pass them on.

      Once again welcome to both Rest Less and the community.

      Reply
    • Blackcat2 24th October 2021 at 7:10 pm

      Hi Leigh
      Thank you for your welcome. I’ve already found it a welcoming site after only posting stuff this afternoon!
      Thanks too for that link. I’ll have a look. I hope to be using the site a lot as there is so much to look at and find out about.
      Thanks again, all contact is much appreciated.

      Reply
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