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  • I wonder how many would move for love if absolutely certain the relationship was right for you

    Posted by Gill B
    • Reply by Carol.L

      How about you Gill, what would you do?

      • Reply by Gill B

        I guess I am open minded about it Carol. If I felt it were absolutely the right thing for me, then I probably would. However I wouldn’t just pack up and move on a whim or in blind hope. There are stepping stones to be navigated before making that move – and a long distance relationship to sustain in the meantime. It would without doubt be easier if it were someone in this neck of the woods.

    • Reply by Anonymous User (no longer active)

      When love comes at one point or another from all different directions. where it will lead us that depends on where We wish our future happiness to lay . Yes trust and commitments from both sides have to be met, long before a decision is made and this could be very difficult when both sides are already living some distance apart.
      No one can predict the future you could be in a relationship with someone for 5, 10 years and then it’s over, for whatever reasons.

      Don’t really have an answer to this, just make the most of what life brings to you. So many people struggle to find true love and happiness.
      Wishing you all the very best in doing so. ✅

      • Reply by Gill B

        Who knows what anyone’s answer would be when it boils down to it. I wouldn’t rule it out, but I wouldn’t rule it in either. Besides its very hypothetical! 🙂

    • Reply by adeliza0165

      This is a really difficult one – If it feels right, I would. But like with all relationships, you don’t know the future, just like so many people get married because it feels right, but then split up/ get divorced… They never would have got together and married if they knew they were going to get divorced. It’s all a learning curve and something you put down to experience.
      The other issue is jobs…
      In my case, i have a good job – everyone is nice and everyone gets on, so if I moved I may not find such a fab team of people again – and i have had jobs in the past where the staff and management have been absolutely awful!!
      There’s a lot to think about…🤔

      • Reply by Gill B

        You are right Adeliza it would be a really big decision. You would hope that your gut feeling about the person is right, but its a huge adjustment getting used to living someone in an area that you don’t know, with a job and colleagues that you may not take to particularly. Just the moving in with someone can take getting used to, without all the other stuff…

    • Reply by muddyboots1958

      Well, I managed Denmark, Holland, US and then back to the UK over 40 years!

      • Reply by Gill B

        A different partnership each time? Or with the same person.

        I wonder if the older you get, the less likely you are to move to be with someone to see if it works out. On the other hand, if you have no roots in any particular location, it doesn’t really matter.

        My sister moved to USA to be with her husband when in her early 30s, that was a huge move they didn’t know one another that well either.

      • Reply by Sandyg

        when you are young, you have plenty of leeway for wrong decisions, going back onb that, restarting over…but now we are over 60…we don’t have the luxury of many decades ahead, so each decision matters so very much more..

        • Reply by Gill B

          Yes I can see understand that, on the other hand, you don’t have decades of making the wrong decision either.. it could just be a ‘lets see how it goes’ arrangement and don’t burn your bridges so that you can leave when you want to, should you want to. If you really like someone, why not give it a go and take each day at a time?

    • Reply by Charlie williams

      Sure if that’s what you both want I wouldn’t move just to be closer but would move to live together

      • Reply by Gill B

        I agree, no point in moving to just be nearer .. but its never the less a huge decision for the one that it upping sticks I think, but still a big decision for both!

    • Reply by BettyBoop

      I did previously but it didn’t work. The worst part was having to hand my notice in to a job I loved and having to live with him for a month while I worked my notice. I didn’t have friends or family in the area, so couldn’t stay

      • Reply by Gill B

        Really, really hard. Its good that you knew to get out, but to stay in a place so far away from family and friends, its no wonder that you just wanted to return.

    • Reply by Sonia Thomas

      Yes I would move.

      • Reply by Gill B

        No wavering there Sonia!! That’s great!

        • Reply by Sonia Thomas

          Thanks 😊

    • Reply by Kitty1969

      I did in my 20s, I was homesick and eventually, he managed to get a transfer back to where I lived ( he arranged it without telling me) His mum was a complete bitch to me, and his friends pretty useless apart from one or two. So it was very lonely. He said he was so much happier in my home town too.
      But even now I would do it if he was the one and sure of the life we could have together

      • Reply by Gill B

        Was his home town a long way away? It actually seems like it was better that he came towards you in the end – or as this not the chap you married?

        I think its good to keep the options open and not put up yet another obstacle !

      • Reply by Gill B

        Kittie – Don’t feel you have to answer my question if its all too personal to post on the public chat 🙂

        • Reply by Kitty1969

          200 miles away. Yes I married him, we were married a week after I moved down. I was happy to move there and it all looked so promising before I did.

        • Reply by Gill B

          That is some distance too. I’m glad you were both happy to shift back to where you were nearer to people you knew and trusted.

        • Reply by Marica

          I am glad you found it worked Kitty. I am not so sure I could do that now though .We can make new friends in new areas but it is an upheaval as we get older. And as much as I hate to say it , people do change and I would be so upset to move half across the country to be with someone and then 2 years later , find it was not as I expected no matter how sure we all seem when we decide to do it. You have then given up your friends and home and it can be very lonely

        • Reply by Gill B

          I suspect, should it ever be the situation, I would keep a bolt hole to return to in the event that time together is shortened for whatever reason!

        • Reply by Marica

          Now that is a sensible solution, Gill.

    • Reply by Andie

      ‘Tis better to have loved and lost
      than never to have loved at all’ 💕

      • Reply by Gill B

        Cheers to that Andie !!

    • Reply by Steve Trellis

      I did this and moved from the south coast to the midlands. I left friends, family, and the sea behind and I really missed them all. The midlands never really became my ‘home’,and I’m now hoping to move down south again.

      I believe that such a move can work for some, but this was the wrong move for me.

      • Reply by Gill B

        We did love it in the midlands, and it wasn’t so far for F& F to visit, but I wasn’t on my own, although it was necessary for work!

        I hope you find somewhere to settle in the South and let a new chapter of your life begin!

    • Reply by Anonymous User

      Hmmm another great question so let me see….

      Well being classified (just hit the 60 mark) as “unwanted” which is now the new “Status” I think this one gets added to the forms later in the year 🙂

      1. Married

      2. Single

      3 Partnership

      4. Unwanted (60 or over and name David Costelloe living in Ipswich. I hope that there are not many of us :-))

      I would have to say probably not, but then again maybe depends on the situation… but…

      Yeah who am I kidding of course I would! There are just somethings in life that are more important. Love well that pretty much tops everything, but then again… relationships don’t always pan out and it is a big risk to take. oh now I am just confused have to go with “I have no idea never got the offer”

      Cheers

      David

      Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

      • Reply by Gill B

        That made me laugh David. I can only cope with the simple jokes 😀

        Its actually quite a difficult question to answer I think because it is somewhat hypothetical, and its also difficult to know whether we are actually really prepared to give up the security of our homes to be with someone else, let alone someone who lives a considerable distance away. Its not wonder that you answered ‘yes I would’ and then wondered if you really would! Some might say ‘chance’d be a fine thing’! lol

        Whoever told you hitting 60 puts you in the unwanted category!?!? There are way too many of us in that category, and we are of an age where gradually we will find ourselves single be it through bereavement, separation or divorce. Its our life-changing decade too as for many retirement looms sometime in the next 10 years if it hasn’t already. The challenge then is to work out who we really are when we don’t have our work forming part of our identity (to others or to ourselves). So it is also a transformational time for us all – an opportunity to spread our wings, do what we want to do and not what someone else (e.g. employer, children, partner, etc) wants us to do. Could even consider a gap year to discover ourselves before settling down to some sort of routine during the many hopefully health years of retirement and what we want to do with our time. Maybe we all need a ‘freshers week’ when we retire – gathering together with others in the same boat whether single or not, sharing life experiences, making new friends, finding out what clubs, societies and activities are going on during the week that we might fancy participating in. … random thoughts as I write, but it is quite an issue that those who have worked all their lives almost certainly face, be they male or female!!

        • Reply by Anonymous User

          Hi,
          On a serious note as my bad. Good points noted in your response.

          Thanks
          David
          Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

        • Reply by Gill B

          🤦‍♀️🤨

        • Reply by Sandyg

          a senior ‘ Gap Year would be my dream…but unfortunately now I’m on my own I have to earn a living and work full time, which I didnt have to when married.
          if only we could still retire at 60 ! Wonder if I’ll be able to do the travelling Id like to when I’m nearer 70…

        • Reply by Anonymous User

          Sometimes you just have to go for it! Otherwise there will always be something holding you back..just like the Status Quo song 🎶Hold you back hold you back 🎶 That song made me travel 🙂

          Cheers
          David
          When you get to your wit’s end, You’ll find I live there.

        • Reply by Gill B

          Sometimes you do. You have to take a leap of faith!!like the picture. Can’t remember what the old one looked like but can see this is new!

        • Reply by Gill B

          Oh Sandy I know what you mean. Just hope you enjoy working! Where there is a will there is a way – and 70 isn’t that old!

      • Reply by Kitty1969

        that made me laugh too, I think when it says other on a form, I shall put ‘unwanted’. Although it should be too lazy to go looking for love

        • Reply by Gill B

          Awwww

      • Reply by Sandyg

        I like that ! I you, would have to put myself in the ‘ Unwanted category.
        I moved away after 33 years in same house, at the ending of myb40 yrar marriage, because I couldn’t face remaining there single, with all the memories in my face everyday…So making a lmove for a fresh start that is only about Me, has been really refreshing .
        Gone from a 6 bed house to a small 2 bedroom, but the fact that its all mine gives me great satisfaction.
        Wanted to live by the sea since chimdhood- so I moved to make that dream come true..And am now nearer all my 4 grown children, so no, I wouldn’t move away for anyone !
        Move house yes, but not leave the area. Unless only temporary, in which case I’d rent my house out So I still had it to return to .

        • Reply by Gill B

          It sounds like you like where you are living. Great move. 2beds takes no time to clean (I should know, I live in a 2bed place and can whizz around in no time at all).

    • Reply by snffrank

      i did and after a few years she went on holliday with her mother while i looked after her child she came back with a lover and took off

      • Reply by Gill B

        That must have been a very difficult time for you – I’m sorry it didn’t work out.

        That’s a lovely dog you have there in your photo…

    • Reply by Giulia

      When people talk about being with someone … they talk about it for themselves. Unfortunately, nobody really wants that. Do you know why? Nobody knows and will never know! if you don’t have the courage to love and share, stay in the same place. Everyone speaks for himself. What he wants but in reality he does not want, and so time passes them in desire or maybe I wanted it. in short, it all depends on the possibility of love or will persistent selfishness be the best choice?

      • Reply by Gill B

        Hi Giulia. I don’t quite understand your comment but I’d like to.

        I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but I ready what you have written as the fact that people talk of wanting to be with someone, and talking of the prospect of moving to be with the right person, yet they may not have the courage to love and share their life with someone at this point in time? Until they are prepared to do that, it would be better to stay where they are. If that is what you are saying, I understand that.

        Do correct me if I haven’t understood correctly.

        Then at the end you talk of persistent selfishness? I am not entirely sure I understand what may be classified as persistent selfish next in the context of the answers that have been written, or indeed the implication of the question itself.

        I get that by focussing on the desire for something to happen / to be with someone, time passes feeling dissatisfied with life, rather than focussing on the now. However I don’t think that is what you are saying.

        I also get that the answers anyone gives is a reflection of themselves, and maybe my question to an extent is a reflection of myself. However it is a very hypothetical question just to provoke dialogue and discussion, and none of us can really know what we would or wouldn’t do in any given situation.

        Please come back Guilia if you would like to, and thank you for contributing to the discussion. 🙂

        • Reply by Giulia

          Good morning,

          Hi, I think I have made a summary of what I think. As for the isolation, do you think anything has changed? Well, I doubt it! But I don’t have many words, I believe in facts..

          Happy Easter

          Giulia

      • Reply by Sandyg

        maybe you confuse selfishness for sensibility.
        Nothing selfish about being unwilling to uproot and follow someone you are not 100% sure of..if you are actually happy where you are, that’s sensible to stay there ..unless it is in an established relationship where 1 has to move for work and would expect the other to go with them, but they decide not to- that may well be selfish.

        • Reply by Gill B

          Yes I wouldn’t have thought of it as being selfish. However maybe if someone refused to move they were seen as selfish by the writer. At the end of the day it’s a huge decision, and if it doesn’t fell right it’s better not to. 😊

      • Reply by Anonymous User

        eh everyone speaks for themselves 😎

        Just sayin…

        Cheers
        David
        Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo.

        • Reply by Gill B

          David I have found myself chuckling at the Oreo in ice hockey!!

    • Reply by Stevie C

      Yes indeed – I’m a bit of a softy really and can fall in love quite easily. I’m also a bit of a Nomad or at least I have been in the past , moved around a lot over the years, career/relationships etc. If it feels right then it is right, take a risk and never look back, life is far too short.

      • Reply by Gill B

        Free spirit then, following your heart, your work and a whim, live life with no regrets and yes, life is too short. Thanks Stevie

    • Reply by Lady K

      If it felt absolutely right to me and him then yes!…
      (I know he is out there somewhere in the world wondering where I am..if only we could find each other 😊)

      • Reply by Gill B

        Hello Lady K. I haven’t seen you in a while. Hope all ok.

        I think its a good idea to keep options open – and you never know!! 😀

        • Reply by Lady K

          Hi there Gill
          Nice to see you! 😊 All is well thank you, just busy with creativity. Photography and art.
          I hope all is ok for you too!

          Well I haven’t given up my dream, he’s out there somewhere 😊

        • Reply by Gill B

          Oh he will be I am sure! Glad you have been productive and creative. To be honest I haven’t been on here much myself either .. but its good to dip in occasionally! Good to see you.. all well with me!

        • Reply by Lady K

          Glad to hear! Have a lovely evening Gill 😊

        • Reply by Gill B

          Thanks lady K. My evening is over now. Early starts mean early to bed. Take care

      • Reply by Sandiey

        Hi Lady K. Never give up on finding Mr Right. I had, and then I met my now hubby.

        • Reply by Lady K

          Thank you!
          Happy for you 😊

        • Reply by Sandiey

          Aw thank you. It will happen, and when you least expect it to

    • Reply by Jugmama

      I did but got it so so wrong. Ha its long in the past now.

      • Reply by Gill B

        In the past, and brought you to here!!

        • Reply by Jugmama

          Yeah we should all learn by our mistakes but never give up.

        • Reply by Gill B

          … and never give up on ourselves!

    • Reply by Andy E

      I’m constantly on the move for love….but only because the kebab van keeps parking in different places😄

      • Reply by Gill B

        Soooo funny!!!! Such a nuisance!

    • Reply by Andy E

      I know! But at least I’m getting exercise chasing the bloody thing! 😄

      • Reply by Gill B

        Is she nice? The woman that runs the kebab van!!!

    • Reply by Andy E

      Yea….her name is Doner 😄 As soon as I saw her it was cheesy chips at first sight!

      • Reply by Gill B

        Oh you are funny!! lol

    • Reply by Andy E

      Same words my wife said on our wedding night! 😄

      • Reply by Gill B

        🤣🤣🤣

    • Reply by Sandiey

      I did. Moved over from Ireland 7 years ago, and now married 4 years come September. No regrets, and never been so happy knowing that taking a chance worked out so much better that I could ever have imagined.

      • Reply by Gill B

        Brilliant! Sometimes it’s just worth the chance isn’t it. A big move in many ways across the water and a different way of life perhaps.

    • Reply by bri62c Pembrokeshire

      If absolutely certain, then absolutely yes ❤️

      • Reply by Gill B

        Absolutely Bri!!

        • Reply by bri62c Pembrokeshire

          😊

    • Reply by Mother Goose

      I would. But I have lost faith and trust in relationships so can’t see the situation ever arising for me sadly 😔

      • Reply by Gill B

        I’m sorry you have lost faith mother goose, if you would quite like to have a partner. Maybe it’s not meant to be.. The chances if meeting someone is a lottery really. Who knows!!

        • Reply by Mother Goose

          Yes. If its meant to happen, it will x

    • Reply by Ian1964

      Maybe it would be easier for both parties to start a fresh somewhere new but that’s a big call in itself.

      Personally I wouldn’t do anything until retired then see where I stand with life.

      Being close to the sea/walks I’d move for.

      • Reply by Gill B

        It is a big ask for anyone to move whatever the circumstances. I note you may indeed be someone prepared to find a compromise! I can see why, if the location were better than the one in which you currently live, the temptation may be greater!

        • Reply by Ian1964

          Lot of boxes to tick Gill on both sides. I guess if no family involved it would be a lot easier.

          Whatever happened to that gadget they in star trek where you could just be from one place to another- how perfect would that be.

          If you didn’t get on, beam them out into space:)

        • Reply by Gill B

          It’s all hypothetical really because I don’t suppose any of us would really know what we would do should the situation arise.

          Teleportation would be good in order to see one another or to get rid of! 😂

    • Reply by VFP

      I have moved for love, and I can assure you that long-distance relationships do not prepare you for life together! Would I move for love now? It’s difficult to say because I think it’s unlikely I will love again – but you never know.

      • Reply by Gill B

        I moved 8 miles and gave up my home!! That doesn’t count 😂

        I have no idea what I would do other than, for the money, keep an open mind. We none of us know what path our lives will take either. Just see what unfolds over time.!!

    • Reply by Angela E

      Met my partner in the April, we decided to give the relationship a go in the May, moved from South of England to the North in the August and 3 years later we are still very much in love and extremely happy. All the stars were aligned at the time I made my decision and I knew it would last 🙂

      • Reply by Gill B

        That is wonderful. It takes commitment from both of you to make it work despite hurdles that had to be overcome as you found a way of living together in harmony. Well done!

    • Reply by Fuff

      Definitely no, someone would have to come to me. I prefer to be near family and if I was special enough they would come to me

      • Reply by Gill B

        I think it is really good to have a clear view of what your needs are – and you will not be alone in wanting to remain near your family!

    • Reply by Stirredbutnotshaken

      Have done it once before.
      We moved to Fuerteventura.
      The relationship failed but oh…what an island. My spiritual home.

      That said…I’d do it again in a heartbeat. We get one brief go at life. I’d hate to end mine on what ifs and if only…

      • Reply by Gill B

        Well I’m with you there. No pint in regretting snd not giving it a go. I nearly went to F years ago snd we ended up elsewhere. Not surprised it is beautiful though.

    • Reply by George M

      Interesting question. If I may ask: Would you? I would, though if the location was not ideal, it would be an opportunity to move to another mutually agreeable location.

      • Reply by Gill B

        If it felt right, I think I would. I want to keep an open mind to the possibility although it would have to be someone pretty special.

    • Reply by Sunshine Sandi

      I would if it was for love. An adventurous life. But I’d would for a while keep my home.

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