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spooky Posted 9 months ago
I have been single for 25 years – is this a record ???
9 likes & 45 replies
    • E-man 11th March 2021 at 3:16 pm

      Well Spooky , unless you tell us more about yourself , male/female , where you live , age , interests etc and upload a photo it is a certainty that you will be single for another 25 years .

    • Colin in Kent 21st March 2021 at 5:32 pm

      My mum never remarried after splitting with my father in 1980, and she died in 2019.

      My brother, old than me by eighteen months and 59 now, has been single all his life, so even longer.

      The question is not whether it makes a record, but rather whether it is a state that brings you happiness or unhappiness? Is it something you can do something about if it is affecting you adversely?

      • spooky 21st March 2021 at 7:39 pm

        It depends on how you look at it – i am very set in my ways and because i been on my own for quite a number of years may find it very difficult to adjust to living with someone else but i do admit i miss the company of a partner in many ways such as shopping together etc and going out to some nice places – the trouble is i have always managed somehow to pick the wrong type of man who is just in it for himself – my mates have all said the same thing by saying that in the past i have been too good to my man and so i have harden up a bit and now guys may find me a bit intimidating plus i am very independent – still maybe one day i might meet someone nice who just happens to be a bit crazier then others !

        • loislane 21st March 2021 at 7:44 pm

          I understand, but you chose correctly, I’ve been mugged off every time

        • spooky 22nd March 2021 at 12:24 am

          Same here – sometimes i felt us if i just as well go thought life with a sign on my head that says kick me !

        • E-man 22nd March 2021 at 7:44 am

          Now that lockdown is easing and the good weather and longer nights are just around the corner I wish you well .

        • loislane 22nd March 2021 at 2:44 pm

          Indeed, the wrong people are very good at sussing out the kind and vulnerable. We are better than them which is why they don’t like us.
          As I get older, to me, people are settled in their ways, still married to their love, or those who lost their loves. Not much left after that is there.

        • spooky 22nd March 2021 at 9:42 pm

          I agree with you and looking back i have always attracted the wrong sort when i have been feeling vulnerable – now that i am strong and unafraid of being alone- jesus i am a expert at being alone these types don`t even get a look in – trouble is now all the good ones are taken !

        • loislane 22nd March 2021 at 10:27 pm

          Very true they are, they’ve had their families, even if they are widowed, their love is often on a pedestal so high it’s a column, no room for anyone else because there isn’t anyone who can measure up. Children are wary as they believe you’re after their inheritance, just impossible

        • spooky 1st April 2021 at 10:49 am

          That`s totally true

        • FOXY9961 13th September 2021 at 1:58 am

          No it isn’t true, with your mindsets being rigid it stops peopke like me ever having a chance of finding love again.

        • LucasH 12th September 2021 at 7:36 pm

          Wow Lois! The pedestal analogy is interesting and telling.
          And the wary children, I can believe that.

        • AdrianSF 18th April 2021 at 10:05 am

          No, we’re not !

        • FOXY9961 13th September 2021 at 1:55 am

          Me too.

        • Colin in Kent 21st March 2021 at 10:46 pm

          There’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t meet the right person. Yes, relationships are give and take, but at the same time there’s no reason to compromise who you are.

        • loislane 22nd March 2021 at 10:28 pm

          Do you really believe that women in our 50s can meet someone decent?

        • Colin in Kent 23rd March 2021 at 6:57 am

          Of course Lois! But I think it’s also important to look at past relationships that we were unhappy with and identify unhealthy patterns of behaviour in ourselves. I know plenty of people who always go for unsuitable or damaging relationships because it satisfies a need or outlook in themselves. Is it any more difficult to meet someone at our age? There are just as many lonely people about. But, similarly, life accumulates baggage and the older you become the greater the baggage, not just in terms of actual things like children and exs, but in terms of our outlook formed by unpleasant or hurtful experiences. Very difficult to put that behind us, and approach new relationships in a spirit of openness rather than suspicion. It still pays to be cautious – there are just as many unpleasant people in their 50s about as 20s – but not to the extent it actively harms our own life goals. There are decent men and women, probably the majority in fact, and there’s no reason not to meet them.

        • Brad_66 12th September 2021 at 4:11 pm

          Sorry, only just seen this post. But yes, of course it’s possible.

        • Millybee 14th September 2021 at 3:11 pm

          I bloody hope so, I don’t fancy being on my own forever Lol

    • HappyHippy17 22nd March 2021 at 8:11 am

      There are lots of long term single people in this society now… I’ve lived alone for 20 years, by choice, as I’m not very conventional and love my animals more than most humans 😃. I value genuine friendship much more than anything, life is for living, smile and be happy , we come in alone, we go out alone, best thing to do is be your own everything in between, and make the most of every minute 🌼👍

    • Granny C 22nd March 2021 at 7:24 pm

      I’ve been single for nearly 23 years and whilst it ca be a bit empty sometimes, i never feel lonely. Like many people i try to live the best life for me, to be happy and enjoy what life has to offer . Be able grasp opportunities as the cop up or create my own. I have some lovely friends and meet some interesting characters on my journey through life

    • JoeInKendal 23rd March 2021 at 7:23 am

      I would say stay positive. There is someone out there for everyone. Companionship becomes more important the older we get but maybe you have got used to living alone but sure with the right person who is caring and understanding it can be a success.
      I am 57 and wheelchair bound now and have been living alone for a few years now but still hoping that one day I will find the right lady.
      Good luck and don’t give up looking
      Cheers – Joe

    • Roger F 25th March 2021 at 5:37 am

      After an acrimonious divorce in 1982 I have survived being a singleton eversince though must admit after retiring from business I felt the need for companionship which happily i have found in recent months

    • Mimulus 1st April 2021 at 9:06 am

      I have been single all my life. I had maybe one relationship but it didn’t work out. I bought my son up alone not easy but l did it. I don’t really want a relationship after watching my mother and father argue and my sister suffer domestic abuse. I am 64 now and unlikely to find a man. I just want friends but l have mental health issues that complicated things. So often people suggest l find a partner like it’s the only answer. Yet many are lonely even with one.

    • Deleted User 7th April 2021 at 5:37 pm

      35yrs me

    • SouthernSoftie 15th April 2021 at 7:49 pm

      14 years me… and I had a partner from 16 onwards so it did feel odd being on my own to start with. But now dont know if I could live with anybody. But would like someone to go out with and share life and travels with. You are not too old to meet someone. Plenty of people meet someone after 50.
      I have dated during the last 14 years, often for six months or maybe a year but then they have not ended up being someone for the rest of my life.
      I dont want to do the online dating anymore so just hope I can meet someone by chance…

    • GrahamT 16th April 2021 at 11:38 pm

      Think im just about the same lol

    • Anonymous User (no longer active) 17th April 2021 at 7:42 am

      I’ve not heard that one who sang it ?……… Seriously Spooky, what will be will be, an old addage but often true, you will find your soul mate I’m sure , it might take a while it might not, who knows, none of us know what’s around the corner but in the meantime, you can enjoy life to the full, friends, interests, staying fit and healthy, and all the plans you are going to make all the people you meet and interact with, now restrictions have eased ,get out there and go for it, you sound so positive , fearless and self motivated, you have so much going for you. I actually met my partner on a photography site around ten years ago now, been together for eight I wasn’t looking for a relationship at all after being married for over 26 years – which had broken up incidentally before I met my current partner – Have a super weekend , keep smiling and very best wishes,


    • Sean9667 17th April 2021 at 8:26 pm

      Hi, thought I’d chip in 😁 hold on tight!
      I’ve been on my own for either three years or sixteen years, depending how you look at it.
      She moved out three years ago, but we were apart for the previous thirteen years.
      Long story, we split up, her mum died unexpectedly, I moved back in, stayed for the kids.
      Over the years I’ve changed everything about my life in the hope things would get better, by the time she left I’d more or less given up and my life was in tatters.
      So, starting again at 51!
      Needed work, got that sorted, pandemic, made redundant, got another job, started rebuilding my life.
      Never thought I’d meet anyone, to be honest I just thought that’s it, I can’t do with all that again.
      But I did, took me properly by surprise, only to be used to make her boyfriend jealous.
      So back to never again!
      Problem is I hate being on my own, and it’s been a long time.
      Never tried online dating, this is the first time I’ve joined a website.
      No Idea where I’m going with this really, just rambling.

      Warning: will not respond well to positive messaging, it’s a bit shit, admit it!

    • Bobby 22nd April 2021 at 8:54 pm

      yes good record i have been single for 20 years catching up on you lol lovely to meet you

    • Goldenbay 11th July 2021 at 7:45 am

      I think I beat you by one year I sort of stopped counting so can’t be too sure. I have lots of friends I made in Australia and here on The Wirral in UK, I’ve had a few relationships but met nobody I would seriously settle down and live with. I have come to the stage in my life I’m happy with my friends and my own company, I don’t think I could live with someone else on a permanent basis, I like the freedom to do what I like when I like and how I like , to have to consider someone else 24/7 would be difficult no matter how easy going the person was. I like to have dates , outings, holidays etc…. But each have their own place. Obviously doesn’t work for everyone but it suits me , and my two little dogs 🐕

    • LucasH 12th September 2021 at 7:51 pm

      You mean that you have had lots of boyfriends but never one that you say was a partner?

    • Lunar moon 12th September 2021 at 9:01 pm
    • Lunar moon 12th September 2021 at 9:06 pm

      Don’t worry be happy xx

    • goldfish63 13th September 2021 at 3:31 pm

      You do not have to live with someone, instead start as friends and then see how it goes and re-evaluate things after a time, sometimes it is better to have independent lives and still be together, get to know one another’s habits etc and take it from there 🙂

    • loislane 21st March 2021 at 7:43 pm

      A lot of us don’t, personally, I wish I had been on my own for 25 years.

    • Hairdresser1965 12th September 2021 at 9:43 pm

      I think you’ve done incredibly well to stay single, you could be counted as lucky 💕 believe me shit relationships are the pits!
      You go girl …. But in the same breath it’s never to late to dip your toe in….. slowly 🙏🙏

    • spooky 21st March 2021 at 5:26 pm

      I am 62 so not likely now but i do have a lot of friends but sadly never had any luck with the guys