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Shirlann Posted 2 months ago
I can forgive (somethings) easy but not sure if good or bad?

I can take and take then have a blowout 🙄but get over it quickly anyone else?

26 replies
    • Jenn1fer 16th October 2021 at 1:55 pm

      I can take a lot, but once I blow I am done, forever.

    • Chojo 16th October 2021 at 2:38 pm

      Depends on what causes the blowout.

    • beetlejuice 16th October 2021 at 2:46 pm

      Shirlann, think you need to elaborate a bit more on this?

    • Shirlann 16th October 2021 at 3:04 pm

      Mainly to do with daughters (have 4) but they’ve twined up two eldest against two youngest (me in middle) I’ve had big fall out with two eldest but we are back on track although they still don’t want to make up with youngest 🤨😕

    • loislane 16th October 2021 at 3:20 pm

      Awful to play piggy in the middle, are they adults? If so, they have to sort it out themselves.

    • Shirlann 16th October 2021 at 3:49 pm

      Problem I’m like a volcano can go for ages just bubbling but then can just erupt!!!

    • Catwoman 16th October 2021 at 3:56 pm

      I’m the same Shirlann. I think you should just let them get on with it. Tell them you’re not playing the game anymore

    • Catwoman 16th October 2021 at 5:05 pm

      Thats even worse and I’m guessing annoying too

    • Deleted User 16th October 2021 at 7:55 pm

      When mine were younger I’d tell them to get it sorted or I was selling them to the circus.

    • Chojo 16th October 2021 at 8:19 pm

      It can’t be easy for you, being stuck in the middle of your own children. If you feel like screaming I have big ears.x

    • Cheers on toast 17th October 2021 at 1:39 am

      im far too passive but resentment builds in the background.

    • Forestbather 17th October 2021 at 9:09 am

      My two children don’t get on. They are joint POA for me which should be fun when I lose the plot. I would love to come back as a fly on the wall after I’m dead and watch them clear my life up.

    • Deleted User 17th October 2021 at 3:37 pm

      I’ve had lots of forgiveness over the years so I have to be forgiving.

    • Sue47 17th October 2021 at 3:45 pm

      When they were young I would tell them they should try to get on, they were lucky to have each other (I lost my sister when I was a child). Now both adults they never keep in touch, not even birthday or Christmas cards, are complete opposites, but on the odd occasion there has been an event or a crisis in the family they’re there for me and each other. I just accept they are who they are, nothing I can do about it, and they learned early on that I don’t mediate or get involved in any way. I love them both dearly, spend time with them both, they get the same amounts spent on them – they know I’ve always kept a notebook with ‘spends’ in it – and treat them both equally. Rather than a mediator I’m the peace-keeper and I meditate, it makes for a stress free life for all of us.

    • hell.fenn 18th October 2021 at 10:29 am

      I take and take and yes then I blow {normally triggered by something quite trivial} but I do not get over it quickly. If it has been bad enough to make me blow it’s serious stuff.

    • Daisychain 18th October 2021 at 10:38 am

      My two older daughters have finally buried the hatchet. I just didn’t get involved but it meant a lot of listening to both parties, not passing on any information one way or the other. I could understand both points of view.

      As my daughters have pointed out I’m very good at sitting on the fence but I consider it as not taking sides! It’s just no good for anyone but does cause an incredible amount of heartache, wishing to fix the problem.

      I’m generally a forgiving person but now and again, if someone causes my children huge hurt, the feelings of anger and mistrust seem to linger. Sometimes events are just not fixable.