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annp12 Posted 3 months ago
I am confused

How do you learn to trust again

5 likes & 20 replies
    • Deleted User 27th October 2021 at 7:39 am

      I think it generally takes a lot of time.

    • Anonymous User (no longer active) 27th October 2021 at 8:35 am

      I don’t know. BUT, perhaps pragmatism can help? There is an ancient Chinese saying:

      “If while building a house a carpenter strikes a nail that proves faulty by bending does the carpenter lose trust in all nails and stop building his house?”

      Just a thought.

    • Wunderwoman 27th October 2021 at 6:16 pm

      Trusting yourself as well as someone else is hard. It’s time and building on it, bit by bit.

    • mrc2359 28th October 2021 at 12:07 am


      I very recently posted this and is how I handle most this.

      I’m an optimist and I totally believe just because one,two or even three people who break your trust shouldn’t ruin it for you or the people you will meet in the future.

      Would i trust my partner if they betrayed me, my answer is “Yes”

      I would look at myself first, then the relationship.

      If it happened again, then walk away because you have given it all you can.

      That’s not really about trust but self preservation.

      But I do feel not trusting people because of past indiscetions of others can ruin your future happiness and make you bitter.

      I’ve had some major betrayals but I’ve learnt to let them go and not live in the past.

      The past is the past, look forward not backwards and leopards can change their spots.

      • Cat lover 28th October 2021 at 10:35 am

        This is so true,in so many ways,i’m afraid i am always looking back- big mistake x

      • BARRIE 3rd November 2021 at 8:50 am

        I learned to live with peoples indiscretions…but I still divorced them….

      • BARRIE 4th November 2021 at 9:12 am

        Would I trust my partner if they betrayed me? No way, look at your relationship? It wasn’t the relationship that betrayed you, it was your partner. Get shut, they will do it again if you let them get away with it….

    • Catwoman 28th October 2021 at 9:47 am

      I don’t think you ever do

    • BARRIE 3rd November 2021 at 8:47 am

      You trust nobody. Trust has to be earned. I learned that years ago through my ex- wife. Once a person has proved themselves trustworthy, still be cautious of what you let them know….

    • Catwoman 3rd November 2021 at 10:12 am

      Actions speak louder than words

    • Anonymous User (no longer active) 3rd November 2021 at 10:15 am

      Give it time and it will happen again stay strong give yourself time to heal

    • Hope18 3rd November 2021 at 2:54 pm

      Try not to asume that all people are the same , one bad apple does not rot the tree.

    • TmonT 3rd November 2021 at 3:11 pm

      Always always always trust your gut feeling an listen to your friends not matter how hard it is to hear

    • BernSawle 3rd November 2021 at 3:37 pm

      try to take a little piece of advice from all the other comments here then add …../if you have a conversation with someone and they cannot look you in the eye, they are probably lieing ! love n hugs (straight in the eyes ) Bern

      • Mad Ralph 4th November 2021 at 9:40 am

        Or maybe they’re autistic or have low self confidence

        • Catwoman 4th November 2021 at 9:56 am

          I think if you know the person have been in a relationship for a while you know when they’re lying.
          You have a point though Ralph but surely you’d know that about a partner too?

        • Mad Ralph 4th November 2021 at 12:28 pm

          Yes definitely CW, I wasn’t very clear with that reply as I was on my way out so it was a bit rushed.
          It was in reply to the first post “ How do you learn to trust again” and Berns reply.
          I took it as meaning “how do you trust a new person that enters your life?”

        • Catwoman 4th November 2021 at 4:54 pm

          Ah I see I’m with you now 🙂

    • BernSawle 4th November 2021 at 12:48 pm

      ok so go with your gut feeling ,if you suspect something like that steer the conversation in that direction .

    • Sunshine Suzy 4th November 2021 at 5:30 pm

      Yes just give it time, but lots of communication with each other in the mean time.