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Shadow Posted 3 months ago
How hard is it to find someone honest and trustworthy 😘
11 likes & 67 replies
    • Shadow 25th August 2021 at 2:03 pm

      Thank you for that. Thought it was just me 😜😜

    • loislane 25th August 2021 at 5:41 pm

      Extremely, especially if you’ve been hurt more than once.
      People are afraid to trust but that trust is to be earned gradually.

    • Shadow 25th August 2021 at 5:43 pm

      Absolutely thanks for reply. Shame it is only women that are replying 😜😜

    • Kevin1964 25th August 2021 at 5:58 pm

      There are many reasons why it is only women replying, but men do find it hard too, most of us just want to meet/be with a honest and trustworthy lady but we always seem to be blamed and tainted with that brush of not being honest. There are very many men who are honest and trustworthy and would make the loving companion that you ladies are looking for, you just need to remove your rose tinted glasses of what you expect and just give some of the decent men, and there are plenty of us, a chance.

      Ps. women are not always honest either remember.

      • Kevin1964 25th August 2021 at 6:30 pm

        Forget all that, I have just looked at some of the men profiles, they just seem to be down to earth blokes that have been let down by ladies from previous relationships, some of the let downs were down to honesty and trust on a females part …oh well who would have thought that.

        Ps. Lol look at me on a soap box, I need to just go back to posting humourous posts a soap box is not the place for me 🙂

      • Shadow 25th August 2021 at 6:53 pm

        Hi Kevin I totally agree with everything you say and was not slaying men in any way . Thing definitely work both ways for both men and women who are the descent ones and as you say there must me many…. They must have just been hiding from me 🤣🤣🤣😜😜 . Sorry no offense was meant . Thank you for your reply glad someone is there to stick up for the descent guys 😄

        • Kevin1964 25th August 2021 at 7:02 pm

          Thank you…..us men get a hard time and we suffer and are let down too….we are not supposed to say it that’s all, there are honest men (and yes some not) it is the dishonest ones that stop us nice ones shine through 🙂

        • Shadow 25th August 2021 at 7:04 pm

          Perfect answer wish you luck in finding a true sole mate Evelyn

        • loislane 26th August 2021 at 1:28 pm

          Very true and very sad all round that it’s got to this point.
          Now some lady just recently Came on to the dating forum, putting on a stupid filter, some men were on it straight away, I’m sorry but I find it absolutely ridiculous on both parts.
          Be real!

      • loislane 26th August 2021 at 1:09 pm

        We do know that not all men are the same, but as one of those women who is , honest , trustworthy, and a believer in equality for both genders, when one has been screwed over quite a few times, the trust isn’t there any more.
        I now look at men thinking I like to get to know you but I’m not sure who you are.
        I’ve had men contact me on here, then nothing, it’s a game that people need to stop.
        We’ve generally not got rose tinted glasses on now, that’s for fools who trust too easily.

        • Kevin1964 26th August 2021 at 1:28 pm

          I totally agree with you and it is sad that the games and ‘leading down the garden path’ antics are still being played by many. It is shameful at our ages and sad for the honest people who are having to start friendships with an understandable distrust of the motives of others.

        • loislane 26th August 2021 at 2:21 pm

          Absolutely agree, which is why it’s got to this point.
          Be honest if you just want a fling, one night stand or wanting to build a relationship.
          I had a man last year, who said he wanted a relationship, yet didnt intend getting a divorce.
          After a few dates he turned cool, then said he lied because he didn’t have time for one. Did all the love you, got annoyed because I wouldn’t say it back pronto, he had been in a 40 year relationship since he was 14, he acted like he was still that age.
          Covid came along, be said at Christmas that once it was over he’d like to pick up from where we left off, I’ve not heard from him in 8 months. I knew it was another lie.
          It just seems to keep happening and now I’m not going to trust someone that easily any more…I’m done.

        • Optimistic 7th September 2021 at 11:12 am

          I think the older we get the harder to find someone it becomes, none of us are perfect we all age but some still live in the passed and look for people of that age not realising so are they

        • Superdaz 7th September 2021 at 12:12 pm

          You get to the point though that it’s just easier not to bother sadly

        • Anonymous User (no longer active) 11th September 2021 at 9:30 am


      • AdrianSF 7th September 2021 at 7:31 pm

        I would quite happily second that.
        I have been wed and divorced three times now. I’m more aware now of devious women but I don’t tar all with the same brush.

    • NeilP 25th August 2021 at 6:34 pm

      Hopefully there a few out there …good luck

      • Jacqui 26 25th August 2021 at 7:38 pm

        Being honest and trustworthy goes for both men and women ….I have only had men being dishonest with me so far …. I know not all men are the same and there are some nice People on this forum and some players

    • Anonymous User (no longer active) 25th August 2021 at 8:55 pm

      Just a point. I was married for 40yrs then the Angels took him, the last time I had a date I was 17. It’s not about men being untrustworthy or women doing the same it’s just trying to take the step of trying to trust and move forward. There will always be the old argument of male and female being trustworthy, but it’s not always about that. Did I make sense 🤦‍♀️

    • Shadow 25th August 2021 at 9:02 pm

      You did for you

    • Single n bored 25th August 2021 at 9:57 pm


    • Bastmanya Moonblood 26th August 2021 at 10:34 am

      Its not only honesty and trust, its getting further than a few text and out on a date. The men iv encountered just want to text or send nob pictures!
      I contacted thousands of men but only been on a few dates. Im getting to the stage of giving up after all these years!

    • Shadow 26th August 2021 at 10:43 am

      Never give up 😜😜

    • Marica 26th August 2021 at 11:05 am

      Yes, there are some decent me and women there. But one thing I have noticed. As we age , we still bring the scars, baggage and an element of cynicism and selfishness with us whether we want to or not. So any initial meetings, people will be on their best behaviour but after a few dates, if someone starts to show signs of an irritation that you have had to deal with in the past , you are more likely to stand back from things and maybe appear a bit off or start to do other things against the relationship. I do believe in discussing upfront with people now if something is bugging me but you need to pick your moments and of course, with some people , it is like treading on eggshells.

    • Ken 26th August 2021 at 11:40 am

      Impossible – I’m thinking a harem was a good idea but too darned costly –

    • Fuff 26th August 2021 at 12:51 pm

      Extremely hard, for both men and women. After a 36 year marriage break up trust doesn’t come easy. My ex husbands new partner also was in a long term relationship which was broken up.

    • VFP 26th August 2021 at 2:37 pm

      My husband died about fourteen months ago and I have been trying to emerge from the sadness and loneliness of widowhood. I decided to try a dating site, just for diversion, but I seem to be seeking a replica of my husband and that is, of course, impossible. Based on my limited experience, I think that online dating makes it too easy to be ‘economical with the truth’, especially if you are not confident and want to be noticed. I’m sure I have upset some men by ending online conversations and cancelling coffee dates, but it took me awhile to realise that I’m simply not ready to date anyone (which is annoying). I didn’t mean to be uncaring but it also surprised me how quickly things can escalate from a little online chat to a phone conversation to arranging to meet. I thought people emailed for ages first! I did have some interactions with a very clever (in my assessment) professional man who admitted that he didn’t actually have the doctorate he claimed on his profile. Why would anyone lie about something like that? Probably to do with self confidence and perhaps desperation? I came to the conclusion that many of us need to reflect on our behaviour. I still believe that most people are honest and trustworthy, just a bit misguided and certainly not perfect. Of course there are some real opportunists and scammers out there too, but they are rather easy to identify and block.

    • Christopher Leslie 26th August 2021 at 3:47 pm

      It’s not that hard but more difficult in the opposite sex to you after you have been betrayed or the victim of dishonesty. It alters your perspective and makes you suspicious and less trusting.

      • dadgooner 7th September 2021 at 12:03 pm

        I’m not saying controlling men (and women) don’t exist…..I’m just saying that your experience shouldn’t make u think ALL men are like that 😇

        • Christopher Leslie 7th September 2021 at 2:15 pm

          Very true and I wasn’t suggesting all people are like that. Though it’s interesting you automatically wrote controlling men. In my experience a number of women either in relationships or work wise try to be more controlling

    • Brighton Belle 27th August 2021 at 6:38 am

      After awhile men become controlling and jealous wanting to know where you are 24/7 as if you haven’t a life of your own…..

    • Chojo 27th August 2021 at 7:39 am

      I’ve tried hard in all my relationships to be honest and loyal but the women I’ve dated all seem to find it boring and end up cheating on me.
      I now find it extremely hard to trust anyone and I can see myself staying single forever. It’s a sad world where people can make other people feel this way. Life is for sharing and loving but without trust what’s the point.

    • Kevin1964 27th August 2021 at 10:38 am
    • Chrisdmids 5th September 2021 at 12:02 pm


    • PIPI 5th September 2021 at 3:40 pm

      I tried on line dating as was a very lonely widow of 3 years .Thats all i wanted was a nice man to chat to first and then meet for a coffee .I had a few speak to me but found they were interested in other things than me .I wont give up yet but just be more careful ,as sure there is someone out there that wants what i want and thats a friend for now and see how it goes

      • Jade70 5th September 2021 at 4:43 pm

        It’s very hard to find honest people, and to find someone with similar interests and outlook….Well I guess that’s why I’m on my own lol

    • Jade70 5th September 2021 at 4:41 pm

      Very hard !

    • Sarah62 5th September 2021 at 9:02 pm

      So hard 🙆‍♀️

    • Christopher Leslie 7th September 2021 at 10:05 am

      It can be difficult. But the old saying if it seems too good to be true. Then it probably is. My big test is a dog. I never trust somebody who doesn’t like dogs, but I always trust a dog who doesn’t like someone. If the person has a dog lookat the dog and how it behaves its a good indication of what their human is like

    • Sandyg 7th September 2021 at 4:43 pm

      its an unknown…it takes along while to find out..there are probably plenty..but whether you’de fancy them is another matter entirely.

      You do need to post your own photo though for a good start.

      Nobody is going to trust anyone they can’t even see a photo of..

      Too many on here under ‘cloak and dagger ‘ !!

    • Moya 7th September 2021 at 8:45 pm

      not very. not trusting makes for self fulfillment. Honest and trustworthy people are the majority

    • Bastmanya Moonblood 8th September 2021 at 2:35 pm

      At the end of the day it boils down to iv never met a man that can enhance my life on the level that I resonate at. Interpretation of what I just stated could mean anything to anybody!

    • CaroleB 11th September 2021 at 10:20 am

      I’ve been on and off a variety of dating sites over the last three years. I see the same faces on all of them, partly because the sites share a common third party platform and partly because its not clear that they are shared so we site hop, from one to the other. I’ve had conversations with quite a few men. The ones who are pranksters or letchers soon let themselves down and I’ve had nice chats with others. Met a few who didn’t really tick the box and have an ongoing friendship with one. Its like the lottery, you have to keep buying the tickets.

    • Lookingtothefuture 28th October 2021 at 8:41 am


    • Hathor 28th October 2021 at 9:27 am

      Hi All,
      I can only add “Always trust your instincts!”

    • Daisy 1212 11th November 2021 at 8:24 pm

      It’s not easy.. Both men and women can be trusted but also can lie and deceive.. It can be difficult to see through the murky waters sometimes.. I can be very mistrusting, (transference, defence mechanicism and the ego all playing their part!) but I find talking things over, and being honest with myself about how I am seeing the situation helps…
      Good luck 🤞 🍀