Home Forums Bereavement How does anyone get over the grief of losing some

Anonymous User (no longer active) Posted 3 months ago
How does anyone get over the grief of losing some
35 replies
    • Annieblueeyes 16th September 2021 at 2:00 pm

      It is incredibly hard isn;t it. y experience is to let yourself just feel all those feelings, the rawness soothes in time but you never forget. When did you lose someone?

      • Anonymous User (no longer active) 16th September 2021 at 10:20 pm

        I lost my Dad 5 years ago I had to be there for my mum and older brother so really didn’t get to grieve for my Dad.
        I was there when he took his last breath and that will haunt me for ever

        Me not being able to grieve has left its mark as now I’m.short tempered and that is not the person I used to be.

        • loislane 17th September 2021 at 6:21 pm

          I was there for my dad at his hospital bedside, he waved me away, so I went to the bathroom, came back, he had passed away, so he knew and didn’t want me to see. That was in 1998, July 4.

        • Anonymous User (no longer active) 17th September 2021 at 10:29 pm

          So sorry to hear that sending hugs xx

        • loislane 18th September 2021 at 1:16 am

          Thank you,, it’s not easy seeing a parent pass, it’s painful. Please seek counselling, cruse deal with bereavement, and maybe you can get back to who you were meant to be,x

        • TigerTiger 20th September 2021 at 7:42 am

          I lost my dad 2 years ago and then my stepdad passed away 18 months later. I totally relate to what you’re saying. I wasn’t there when my dad passed and wished I had seen him more than what I did. I have days when I’m angry with myself and wish I could turn back time. It’s really hard trying to deal with the grief and have found I get angry over little things that never used to worry me.

        • Anonymous User (no longer active) 20th September 2021 at 5:03 pm

          Hi thankyou for your reply I know exactly what you mean about the anger.
          I have a very short temper now and will always stand up for myself and have my say.
          I think it stems from wishing I could have done more for my Dad while he was in hospital. Sorry to hear about your Dad and Step dad sending hugs x

      • Anonymous User (no longer active) 20th September 2021 at 11:45 pm

        Hi thankyou for your reply I lost my Dad five years ago and I know some would say that’s ages and get over it.
        But I never had a chance to grieve.
        When did you lose someone and I hope your doing ok x

    • Chojo 16th September 2021 at 2:10 pm

      You don’t, but in time you learn to manage it. Grief affects everyone differently try not to dwell on the loss and think about the happy times you had, those are the memories that will get you through.

    • Optimistic 16th September 2021 at 2:14 pm

      It stays with you, you never forget; you just learn to carry on keeping all those precious memories

      • Anonymous User (no longer active) 16th September 2021 at 10:22 pm

        Thankyou for your reply it certainly has left its mark

        • Keith D 10th October 2021 at 2:12 pm

          Blueeyes, i agree with optimistic, we never get over the death of a loved one/s we learn to cope with it as time passes by
          i have gone through a major time line, because i have now passed the time era when i was lovingly married
          we were married for 26 years and 5 months and I have now been widowed 27 years and 9 months/ i will always love my wife and others who have died . but I have grown to cope and live a new life, but because my wife was the love of my life, and didnt want me to be on my own forever,

          she told me(when I pop off dont be morbid)

          i have had failed relationships, and therefore i am simply looking for friendship, that may develop into something special . sadly no one has wanted me enough, or me wanted them to be the special person, who and have a loving and unique relationship
          Keith D , the poet man

    • loislane 16th September 2021 at 2:49 pm

      You don’t ever, but in time the grief lessens in order for you to move on, be it two years, three, five, you don’t forget, life becomes bearable for you to begin living.

      I would definitely recommend grief counselling, maybe write down your feelings in a journal. One day you can look back and see how far you’ve adjusted.

    • goldfish63 17th September 2021 at 11:50 am

      You never get over it but it gets easier with time and healing, you have to work through your feelings and there are certain stages that people often go through in loss :Denial, Anger,Bargaining,Depression,Acceptance, not always all of them stages or in any order but as a rule these are the stages to deal with to reach acceptance but not forgetting 🙂 it is a slow process for some so go with it and you will heal in time 🙂

    • Curtis 19th September 2021 at 7:30 am

      I lost my husband of 49 years, 13 months ago, So awful and grief and heartache are constant. I have no idea what the future holds and wonder if I will ever be able to cope Catherine

    • moonlady 19th September 2021 at 3:41 pm

      There is no getting over it, you just have to learn to live with it. It is a year since my husband died in front of me, and only now am I starting to forget the one day he died, and beginning to remember all the other days when he lived with me. Losing a parent is hard, it means you are the top of the heap now. I think you miss having them as a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, a source of advice. I don’t think it’s too late for you to seek some help such as grief counselling.

    • Davemo 20th September 2021 at 7:53 am

      I lost my wife over 12 years ago, you don’t get over it, you learn to live with it , hugs

    • Curtis 20th September 2021 at 6:52 pm

      Lots of kind words and hugs Thank you

    • Dennis 22nd September 2021 at 10:19 pm

      It’ll be the 2 year anniversary of losing my wife and soul mate this Friday and it’s all come back, I thought I was well along the road but turns out it’s been, as goldfish said above denial.

      With great love comes great loss, it’s the price we pay unfortunately, we just need to be thankful that we were graced with that love in the first place.
      That’s the way I try and look at it, good luck Blueyes

      • Anonymous User (no longer active) 23rd September 2021 at 10:54 am

        Hi thankyou for your reply so sorry to hear about your wife.
        I totally agree we do have to be thankful for the special people to be in our lives and the love we share.
        But the grief does come back in waves. I find I’m finally getting somewhere then I see or hear something and it brings it all back.
        Good luck to you too

      • Linpap 10th October 2021 at 3:43 pm

        I am having a bit of a lonely looking too much at my phone quiet sort of Sunday afternoon lost my husband just over a year ago tell myself I’m fine then realise I’m not but my overriding feeling now is that I have been lucky to have known great love and that can never be taken away and I am thankful that I have known that and I even start to feel that maybe I might experience it again wouldn’t diminish my love for my husband but almost be a tribute to him as I know how special that can be and would like to feel that way again sorry as I say bit of a soppy Sunday

    • Junebug 23rd September 2021 at 11:05 am

      I am coming up for three years in November.

      I feel sometimes I have gone backwards.

      As I have said in a previous post, it is not only the person you miss so much, but the life you had with that person. Going to parties together, the pub, restaurants, drives in the car, holidays etc. etc.

      I went to Peebles on Tuesday for the day. I went into a pub with the intention of getting some lunch and ended up walking straight back out again. I just felt so out of place, being a lady on my own.

      The pain is still as raw today as it was back in November 2018.

    • Fairy 26th September 2021 at 11:09 am

      I lost my brother 3 years ago, he was hit by a drink drugged up driver, my brother was on his motorbike. It took 2 and a half years before it came to trial and he only got 18 months, still haven’t got over it don’t think as a family we ever will, still hurts so badly and we all feel the sentence was a slap in the face and an insult. Life seems like it means nothing to the courts.

      • Anonymous User (no longer active) 26th September 2021 at 12:31 pm

        Hi so sorry to hear about the lose of your brother and that is so shocking about the sentence 18 months for taking somebody’s life and the damage that person has caused your whole family.
        I really do think the justice system is more for the criminal these days than the victim sending hugs xxx

    • Iamfun 26th September 2021 at 1:29 pm

      It’s 11 years ago since I lost my dad. I had to care for mum and she never gave me time to grieve properly. It’s still painful now as 11 years ago, time doesn’t heal anything, but you learn that life must go on. I still have some of my dad’s clothes and belongings and I talk to a photo of him most days.

      I cared for him in the last few years, he was in his 70s and his death was unexpected. I have no regrets and no guilt. Death is hard to deal with and we are all different , but death is a part of life so I have learnt to soldier on.

      I hope you will find strength to deal with your anger/temper. May you find peace.

    • PWalker 30th September 2021 at 6:15 pm

      I totally understand what you are going through because I have been in your shoes before. It’s extremely hard for a person to get over the grief after losing someone. Most people would prefer to deal with grief by themselves. However, I have another opinion. I believe that you should go to grief counselling, https://www.counsellinginmelbourne.com.au/is-counselling-the-best-option-to-deal-with-grief-and-loss/ talk to a psychologist, or any professional who is qualified to help you with your mental health and diagnose you. It’s not rare for a person to develop anxiety, or worse depression after losing someone close to them.

    • BARRIE 4th October 2021 at 9:10 am

      It’s 3 years in December since I lost my partner, the love of my life, In June I lost my Stepdaughter at 55. I miss them both terribly. It’s 55 and 56 years respectively since I lost my Mam and Dad, and I still miss them still too. I have no direct family except a Grand daughter who lives miles away. I have a large step family from my late partner, they keep in touch regularly, but also live miles away. I try to keep busy to keep happy.