Home Forums Loneliness How can you learn to trust a person who has broken...

annp12 Posted 4 months ago
How can you learn to trust a person who has broken your trust
Share
7 likes & 53 replies
    • annp12 17th September 2021 at 4:14 pm

      Thank you all for the helpful comments .if this trust is broken again I will never go back to him .its only the one chance

      Reply
    • AEB 17th September 2021 at 5:38 pm

      I wish you luck but like the other comments , I don’t think you can trust 100% again

      Reply
    • Dreamyboy 17th September 2021 at 6:19 pm

      Totally agree with above comments – have learnt from experience, once trust has gone, cannot be trusted again.

      Reply
    • Sonny1234 17th September 2021 at 7:32 pm

      You don’t!! You cannot ever trust a person again who has broken your trust , that’s what you learn .
      Walk away , see how long it takes them to do it again elsewhere .
      Just make sure they never get in a position to do it again to you .

      Reply
    • Christopher Leslie 19th September 2021 at 7:41 pm

      I don’t believe you can. There will always be that whisper of doubt, and from experience the doubt is correct

      Reply
    • Toadsprog21 27th October 2021 at 10:47 pm

      It up to them to learn about the effect of betrayal and to work hard on giving you respect and showing you honesty. You don’t have to learn how to trust, they need to understand the consequences of their action. Your have right to be cautious .

      Reply
    • Wunderwoman 27th October 2021 at 10:52 pm

      I can’t trust someone again if they’ve broken that trust. It’s too big a thing for me, and takes quite a while to reach that point of no return.

      Reply
    • Fool on the hill 27th October 2021 at 11:20 pm

      I think it depends on what you mean by trust. Are you talking about infidelity, which seems to be the assumption of most of the responses? Or are you referring to another breach of trust, say financial, or a gambling or other damaging habit you found the person had? I don’t think I could give a view without knowing more.

      Reply
      • annp12 6th November 2021 at 5:46 pm

        Infidelity he cheated on me

        Reply
        • Fool on the hill 7th November 2021 at 1:28 pm

          That’s a pretty big betrayal. I hope it all works out for you, have no experience on either side of infidelity, but as others have already said, best chance is to both to understand why it occurred, and for him to earn that trust back.

          Reply
    • mrc2359 27th October 2021 at 11:52 pm

      Hi,

      I’m an optimist and I totally believe just because one,two or even three people who break your trust shouldn’t ruin it for you or the people you will meet in the future.
      Would i trust my partner if they betrayed me, my answer is “Yes”
      I would look at myself first, then the relationship.
      If it happened again, then walk away because you have given it all you can.
      That’s not really about trust but self preservation.

      But I do feel not trusting people because of past indiscetions of others can ruin your future happiness and make you bitter.

      I’ve had some major betrayals but I’ve learnt to let them go and not live in the past.

      The past is the past, look forward not backwards and leopards can change their spots.

      Reply
    • Glow 28th October 2021 at 8:05 am

      I’d very much hope that trust can be mended as at the moment my son is not talking to me at all ! My heart is breaking with this , I’ve explained I hold my hands up and I’m ashamed and i questions mySelf as a person now I also am very disappointed with myself ! It was down to me being gullible and cornered with his x wife who cornered me into asking questions about past matters with his new partner , I stupidly gave her information which was long gone down the line nothing bad just about (he needed to talk to someone as he was very unhappy but this new person was actually his new partner to at the time I didn’t know he was seeing her as his girlfriend ) this was months down the line after the split up! stupid to which I didn’t think was remotely relevant anymore but no she held on to it as she’s so bitter with him so she used this information to score points and I got the blame! I didn’t say it to be nasty it vindictive at all it was a momentary of something obviously I let the cat out of the bag situation, ( if only you can turn back time) But I’ve learnt the hard way omg have I learnt to not trust her and keep it zipped ! Not that I’d be talking to her but I’ve 4 Granddaughters so I may have to in the future but not on any friendly basis , always supported my 2 sons and I don’t think I deserve this from him ! But he did say give him time so I guess that’s something , my son is 42 and his new partner is 20 years younger ! It’s all they’re mess not mine but seems to have backfired onto me leaving me feeling lost and useless !
      Please can someone throw some light my way ! As I’m feeling bereaved with it all
      Thank you

      Reply
      • Deleted User 29th October 2021 at 10:15 am

        I completely understand you.
        But it seems you’ve already done what you could. You recognised your mistake, apologised, promised to yourself not to do it again. Now you need to forgive yourself and your daughter-in-law.
        I’m sending light for all of you!

        Reply
      • annp12 6th November 2021 at 5:55 pm

        Reading your comment about this I can say I’m in the same boat were my family is concerned. Not spoken to my daughter in 20 years. But what happened was not my doing but a misunderstanding that back fired. .it has ever healed but I did try . I do hope you make up with your family.it does hurt. I feel with you

        Reply
    • Perdita 28th October 2021 at 8:39 pm

      I’m still recovering. Think it’s a time factor and acceptance.

      Reply
    • Deleted User 29th October 2021 at 9:59 am

      I guess, compassion & forgiveness is a good start. Remember to be gentle to yourself too!

      Reply
    • VinnyL 29th October 2021 at 11:03 am

      I cannot find the word trust in the bible. I’m more for Love and Forgiveness. Bible Quote: How many times must I forgive my neighbour? 7 times? No, 77 times.
      End of Quote/ I guess 77 means “every time”, assuming they are truly sorry. We don’t have to forgive if they are not sorry. If we trust someone it’s like we’re expecting them to be perfect, in my opinion. V.

      Reply
    • Alexandra 2013 29th October 2021 at 9:44 pm

      You don’t

      Reply
    • BARRIE 4th November 2021 at 9:28 am

      You don’t. Only 1 chance with trust.

      Reply
      • VinnyL 5th November 2021 at 12:04 pm

        Those who hold by trust could end up very lonely with no-one in their life if the whole world betrayed them. Just a hypothetical you understand. You all sound like V.I.P.s, how dare they do that to me!!! Who the heck are you?

        Reply
        • BARRIE 5th November 2021 at 6:51 pm

          VinnyL, I am a self respecting male who does not hide behind a pseudonym, and would sooner be lonely than surrounded by cheats and liars or people who have no respect for anyone. I have no time for false people and speak my mind. Thats who I am. Who are you??

          Reply
    • BARRIE 4th November 2021 at 9:32 am

      You don’t. End of.

      Reply
    • annp12 4th November 2021 at 6:47 pm

      Thank you im taking note

      Reply
    • Womaninthegarden 5th November 2021 at 9:53 am

      A relationship is built on trust….once that foundation has been rocked it will never be 100% stable.
      Summon up all your strength and move on…….holding on to things stops you seeing other possibilities for your future.

      Reply
    • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 6th November 2021 at 7:21 pm

      No-one gets a second chance with me. I trust 100% until they do something to make me stop.

      Reply
      • BARRIE 7th November 2021 at 8:59 am

        You do right. I treat everyonewith respect, ladies as ladies should be treated, until proved wrong. Then it’s completely different.

        Reply
    • Michael Bennett 7th November 2021 at 12:28 pm

      I think I’d ask yourself whether this person has a history of being able to change or a history of reverting to type.

      Reply
    • Forestbather 7th November 2021 at 1:45 pm

      Why would you want to trust a person who you can’t trust? Burn that bridge.

      Reply
    • Mad Ralph 7th November 2021 at 1:52 pm

      Absolutely you can trust again as long as the person who wronged you learnt a lesson from their action. Everyone makes mistakes it’s part of being human. If it happens for a second time they didn’t learn anything (or don’t care) so then you move on.

      Reply
    • adeliza0165 8th November 2021 at 7:52 am

      You can’t because of the hurt and betrayal, and even if you do, it will
      never be the same again.

      You have to believe and you have to learn to trust again, otherwise you don’t move forwards, just backwards.

      I know two people through other people who are with adulterers!! I can’t comprehend it and it annoys me that they dont want to leave and move on! I don’t know whether they just accept it or they just tolerate it because it’s better than the alternative.

      I would feel very hurt, let down, betrayed, unloved and disappointed, so I can’t understand their mindset and why they dont feel these emotions enough to leave!

      Maybe they have some sort of agreement or maybe their partners are good in other ways, so that’s enough for them 🤔

      Reply
    • Sylvia 1957 8th November 2021 at 7:53 am

      You can’t. Once the trust is Brocken. ☹️

      Reply
    • Mosie 8th November 2021 at 2:04 pm

      Sorry – I’ve tried but I don’t think it is possible

      Reply
    • Vervain 10th November 2021 at 8:55 am

      I suppose it is possible but it means taking a risk. Do you want to do that? I didn’t read all the answers and l don’t know the cause of your broken trust. Has the person shown true remourse?
      If you decide to try again be aware it won’t be easy. A person won’t change overnight and may slip back into bad habits. I don’t know how much this person means to you or your relationship with this one. You may after a time gain some trust but it won’t be the same.

      Reply
    • Perdita 19th November 2021 at 4:33 pm

      No idea. I think life is all a learning curve. Just keep going and hope for the best. It’s

      Reply
    • Fuff 19th November 2021 at 8:34 pm

      I don’t think you can ever trust someone who has betrayed ypur trust in the past. Trust is very fragile once broken it can’t be mended 😞

      Reply
    • Carol2651 3rd December 2021 at 11:51 am

      You don’t…you will always have that fear about the person .whatever the reason if trust gone it gone…not a nice feeling just let go

      Reply
    • ADE. 3rd December 2021 at 12:34 pm

      Simple answer to this is DONT or CANT.. i have found thru years of trusting people only to have them turn that trust into using me, male and female, different types of trust also, it is hard to trust anyone once you get to this stage, i know i sound very nasty but it is a state of self conservation after 30 years of trusting the wrong people. but after saying this, time is the big decider in trust, its all upto how you feel and when you decide to trust someone again. thats just my own view on this though, and i am often told we cant go through life this way, maybe this is why i am still solo after 20 years. eh?

      Reply
Add