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Deleted User Posted 10 months ago
Hi there. Here’s question for all you over 50s!! Being of the more mature age, how do you feel about relationships? Would you like to get into a new one or have more of a ‘companionship’ with someone? Just finding out what people think.
28 likes & 222 replies
    • Kathyseabreeze 13th April 2021 at 2:08 pm

      I’m now 69 and not in a relationship, I feel I would love the closeness of an intimate and all the sharing ect,
      But in the last 10 years that has been very difficult to find , I have nice close friends both male and female , that I get on great with , once I get close to some one they become possessive and the clingy ,
      I felt more of a Councelor,
      What are your thoughts

    • Deleted User 13th April 2021 at 2:23 pm

      Think I would like a companionship, just to go out or holiday.

    • Doris67 17th April 2021 at 9:46 pm

      I find I’m looking more for companionship as I get older.

    • Friendly 18th April 2021 at 10:17 am

      I would like to meet more people, I lost my husband after 40years of marriage a few years ago but feel very unsure about starting a full on relationship.

      • Deleted User 20th April 2021 at 6:11 am

        Then just start out where you are comfortable, knowing what you are looking for is key. Get out there meet people and most of all enjoy yourself, you only get one life make it count 😊

    • Sandyg 18th April 2021 at 1:41 pm

      I guess it depends on your reasons for becoming single, as if you’de had a great relationship ’til death did you part..’ You maybe crave another…then again, your wonderful memories might be enough to sustain you.. but if like most you have split after a long relationship thsts gone sour, you will be very wary of starting again..(that’s me !)
      or if you’de never had a long relationship at all, maybe you are still searching for ” the one’..

    • Anonymous User (no longer active) 19th April 2021 at 1:42 am

      Hello jules67 to the answer to your question is that I would like to be in a relationship with someone so if there is anyone out their with in a 10 miles radius please say hello.

      • Sandyg 20th April 2021 at 4:05 am

        10 Mile radius ? You’ll be lucky.. Everyone says, not just my experience, that the dating apps.send you ‘ matches’ .. from the other end of the country !
        Its such a time-waster filtering out the impractical distance matches…and it amazes me how many men pursue us even though we are 250 or so miles away!
        But finding anyone local who is seriously interested is another matter!

        • Deleted User 20th April 2021 at 6:08 am

          Then avoid the dating apps get out there chat to people friends family etc they may know someone looking for the same thing you are, be proactive, never know you may find someone local or meet someone that special you are more than happy to relocate, if you are an app and or dating site user it’s just a small part of what you can do to find someone, but as I always say to people make sure you know exactly what it is you are looking for you save a great deal of time wasting and time wasters that way. Enjoy and happy hunting 😊😊😊

        • Sandyg 20th April 2021 at 8:27 am

          that has not been possible throughout lockdown, in case you hadnt noticed !
          However im excited at the potential for that to happen as things reopen and I can getvyo meet people by joining things, at the moment I haven’t even been able to meet my new neighbours !
          However there is no chance of my relocating , as Iv just moved here to be near my adult children&grandchildren, by the sea , and easy access of the Airport, and absolutely love it !

        • Deleted User 20th April 2021 at 8:47 am

          As it said know what you want then go for it, easy to throw in excuses for not doing it, COVID has thrown a little spanner in the works I grant you but it’s opening up now so no excuses. 😊😊

    • Sue47 19th April 2021 at 11:09 am

      Once bitten, twice shy, should I look like I’m thinking of a relationship with a man for a third time feel free to have me certified! I have a wonderfully close family, male and female friends whom I hold dear and my cat, why would I want to start washing a man’s smelly socks again?!

    • Jo Ann 19th April 2021 at 12:00 pm

      Hi, I read through quite a few of the replies to the question. And my response is now at my age of 60 and single, I think that if someone did come along and let’s say we got along and understood each other, then that is how I would like it. Having said that I like my own time and being able to make decisions for myself and not have anyone say the opposite or try to get me to do something else.

    • Deleted User 20th April 2021 at 6:00 am

      Just go and grab what you want folks but just remember you have to know exactly what it is you are looking for before to can go and find it… 😊😊😊 don’t worry about what you don’t want, just what you do want.. happy hunting 😊😊😊

    • Deleted User 20th April 2021 at 10:50 am

      Yes I definitely would. I have lived alone for 14 years. I am retired and looking forward to the next chapter in my life.

    • Jo jo 25th April 2021 at 5:25 pm

      After being married 12 yrs then with someone for 7 years, I had a really short relationship that literally blew my life apart, this was 7 years ago, and because of that short relationship it took me along time to even want to have a relationship but I now do I think lockdown and our gradually coming out of it has made me realise lifes for living but I now dont have anyone to do things with, although I want to now find that some one special I know I dont want marriage or to live with anyone, ideal for me would be have our own thing but commitment to one person and plan with them, I think as we get older we change obviously and maybe it is more of a companionship thing I think for me it would be.

    • wee nanny 27th April 2021 at 9:41 am

      I would say start of with companionship and see how it goes

    • Tommy pickles 9th September 2021 at 8:44 pm

      For me it would be companionship

    • Amiga 9th September 2021 at 9:51 pm

      I think it all depends of who you meet? Some people you will enjoy their company only as a friend, companionship.
      If you meet the ideal person to start a proper relationship, then go for it! We are all looking for love and happiness! 😊❤️

    • AllsGravy 10th September 2021 at 1:13 am

      My companion. A joy. We don’t deserve dogs.

      I also have a partner, but have a better relationship with the dog. 🤭

      Joking aside, I have read many of the responses here and they are contradictory.

      Many want or are open to relationships if one should happen. Yet without exception, it is on your terms. No mention of effort or concession, like (other than widows/ers) no acknowledgement is being made of your part in previous relationship baggage/failures. Loneliness must seem an awfully attractive option in a buyer’s market to remain so uncompromising?

    • Barlow 10th September 2021 at 7:11 am

      I would say more companionship unless your lucky enough to find the real deal and your best friend xx

    • Loveagoldie 22nd September 2021 at 4:13 pm

      I’m 53 and just starting the divorce process.
      My ‘husband’ of 34 years has decided he doesn’t want to be married to me anymore.
      It has been a very lonely/loveless marriage for many years. Sleeping in separate bedrooms – co-existing.
      I am looking forward to being on my own for a bit.
      However, what I do want is hugs. Hugs from someone that wants to give me one.
      Companionship that can lead to a relationship. Cuddling up to someone and being close.
      That’s what I would like.

    • SaraJ 22nd September 2021 at 9:26 pm

      I would personally like to find a relationship based on friends first then see what happens. Dating in your 50s I have found difficult with ghosting etc & commitment issues from men .

      • Heidi 23rd September 2021 at 9:50 am

        Oh I do hope you find that- although I am single, I’m busy and pretty happy, but a special loving man is missing- I can’t deny that!

    • SaraJ 23rd September 2021 at 1:01 pm

      Thank you Heidi yes I am at a stage in my life where I am happy and content would be nice to have someone to share that with but I keep searching 🙂

    • JayMistry 23rd September 2021 at 3:51 pm

      Hi all, there seems to be so many mixed emotions to keep each happy. I went through a 4 year divorce battle and finally came to an end last a year ago and I am in a better place mentally. (another story for another day). I am single and live on my own, due to my music career I keep busy and active and love cooking. I would prefer a lovely friendship/companion that would share joint ventures.

      Let’s see what the world brings

    • Sand 23rd September 2021 at 7:07 pm

      When I was 55 I met my husband, we were both single, having been divorced. For me it was the best thing we could have done, we have been married 16 years and are very happy.

    • Sand 24th September 2021 at 4:26 pm

      I joined a thing from the radio called connections. He had to pay to join, he saw my name on tele-text. They put him through to my number until we got used to each other. Eventually I gave him my mobile number, we were always on the phone. When he came to visit from Nottingham, believe it or not it was love at first sight. We have now been married for 16 years and we are both very happy.

    • ChrisPhotographer 24th September 2021 at 5:55 pm

      I am sixty & just over six & half years Widowed, been alone since. I would love to ‘ move on ‘ & find a nice Lady that has the patience to find me among my illnesses & have a long term loving relationship..

    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 5:37 pm

      I think that as we get older we understand ourselves better and as a consequence we’re more understanding, less demanding and far more realistic.
      Personally, if I were to meet someone again, I’d want to do things differently.
      I don’t believe that it has to be a trade-off, but for me thé absolute dealbreaker would be an inability to connect heart, brain,words and feelings.
      As a friend of mine recently said: romance and true intimacy should never be confused. Romance is cursory, but true intimacy lasts a lifetime.🌸

    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 6:19 pm

      I truly dislike the word failed when it’s coupled with the word relationship. It’s like beating yourself over the head with a truncheon.
      Relationships don’t work or they do. Nobody ‘fails’. But things just don’t work out.
      Failure implies blame, which is unhelpful.
      Sure, some people are utter shits and behave really badly, but usually people just don’t get each other so share the responsibility for a relationship not working.
      I think that our expectations of relationships is too high and quite unrealistic.
      If we all lowered the bar a bit, i think many more people would be a lot happier.
      But I get the fear of trying again. I really do. It’s scary out there and dating apps are brutal.
      Sorry, rant over 🌸😊

    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 7:24 pm

      I don’t believe that it’s commitment issues from men. I think that it’s the lack of a common understanding of what commitment means.

    • Joannaissleeping 26th September 2021 at 5:57 pm

      So many insightful replies!
      For me, O no longer know what I want. Going through the menopause and a divorce have changed me, I can’t compromise anymore or constantly think about someone else’s comfort and happiness.

    • adeliza0165 30th September 2021 at 9:27 am

      I think when you’re young you go into it with little thought and take things for granted. Whether it’s love or lust, youre infatuated and it seems to be enough, until it wears off and you realise there’s nothing much else left.
      When you get older, you appreciate and value people more, you become more accepting and less confrontational. You just want a nice life – a close companionship surrounded with happiness.

    • Jenn1fer 30th September 2021 at 11:58 am

      I have been single for 7 years and been quite happy on my own in that time. Recently my mind has turned to the idea of a possible relationship ( my heart must have healed a little 😃). For me I must have a little passion and romance still. I am 50 but still young at heart so not quite ready for a companion only relationship yet.

    • AllsGravy 1st November 2021 at 1:05 am

      An analytical view.

      This site does prove that with age people tend to become more protective of what they see as theirs – We generally recognise this as right-wing selfishness. Life for empty nesters becomes very inward-looking: literal stock-taking and self-absorbed, ‘who am I?’ reflection.

      You can see by the targeted advertisers here that they too recognise +50 obsessions as property and asset values and how to liquidate, pensions, your remaining value as an income earner and contributor to society (if at all?).

      A natural user extrapolation of that is interpersonal relationships which have often been on hold until kids have flown the nest. The whole financial model of this page is to prey on these insecurities and offer monetized solutions.

      You, (notably, especially women) on this thread, also tend to egg each other on; regardless of the actual success of your outcome or the likelihood of your outcome being a predictor of success for others.

      If you were truly interested there will be such data available from some academic source on Google Scholar. But the statistical headline is that +60s (Boomers) are the most financially secure generation there has ever been. This and modern divorce laws has created an environment of financial independence for women +60.

      Mostly though older divorced women struggle in finding and settling in better second relationships (I.e. The grass is rarely greener), as they go for replacement types of men (similar ages, interests, might even be from same circle of friends). Whereas +60s men tend to go on average 7 years younger, geographically further afield, and are more self-assured and more interested by new things and routines and circle of friends (which they will have given up to the ex, or not really had any of their own because of work).

      +60s men don’t tend to ‘hunt’ for either companionships or relationships in the same way that women do in this age bracket. They are not afraid of old age alone in the same way women seem to express. Similarly, intimacy doesn’t have to be an ongoing commitment. It is the very assuredness and independence that makes the man attractive to the younger woman. Ironic that they were often qualities lacking when he was married, because he was married.

      Assertive women on the other hand are not so attractive to that generation of men. It is a fact that hetero’ men, but especially younger ones are biologically programmed to seek fertile partners, so +60s women are always going to find it statistically more difficult to find a new partner, be it companionship or relationship.

      The Boomer generation have grown up to have it all: full employment, job for life, unionisation, affordable housing, affordable mortgages, single-income households that could afford rent, heat, food, run a car, insurance, family holiday, gifts, trips to the cinema, zoo etc., the pill, abortion, easy divorce, women vote for all, paid maternity leave, free health care, free disability care, triple-lock pension, final salary pension schemes, retirement at 60 (for many of you), inheritance tax relief… And now women want what? Post-parenthood boredom relief? Oz? Are we not just pushing the envelope of being spoiled?

      As cholesterol and blood pressure rises shouldn’t the realities of our prospects out there and our expectations lower?😄