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Trevorminor Posted 1 year ago
Recently lost my wife of 28 years following a battle with cancer. After the initial relief that she was no longer in pain and busying myself with arrangements the grief seems to be worse. I know that there’s no magic cure but looking to share tips on getting through. I live near Colchester.
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    • PhilB 5th June 2021 at 10:51 pm

      Hi Trevor. I’m sorry you lost your wife, I understand your situation. At the moment you just have to grit your teeth, head down and get on with it. You will never “get over” the loss of your wife, but you will learn to live with the loss. Think of a box with a red button in it, and a huge ball. The ball moves in the box, and virtually ever single time it moves it bangs into the red button, which is your grief trigger. Over time the ball gets a bit smaller and you can go an hour or a day without the button getting pressed. But the ball will only get so small, and it will still hit the grief button now and then.

      You will have to go at your own pace; ignore people who tell you it’s time to move on etc. Some days will be better than others, some days will be total sh!t. Keep her stuff around, get rid of it, do whatever works *for you* to help you get through. It’s horrible and one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do, so be gentle on yourself.

      Happy to chat privately if you want.

      Phil

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    • Bronners 7th June 2021 at 6:58 am

      Hello Trevor. Sorry too hear of your struggle following the loss of your wife. I too lost must husband to cancer but 5 years ago now. All I can say is keep connected with your friends and family as I found that was the best thing to do .the pain gets less as time goes on and for me keeping busy helps I live near Chelmsford so not too far away if you need a chat or a coffee with some one. Feel free to message. Take care of yourself x

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    • Deleted User 20th June 2021 at 7:34 pm

      Hi ,sorry to hear of your lost, try and put the good times in the forefront of your mind,
      Easier said than done I know but I found it helped me. Think of all the thing you did together, the silly things you did and laugh at. A story I heard a long time ago, if a robin visit nearby that your love one come to say hi. Take care, God Bless

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