Home Forums Bereavement Hi, lost both my parents

Jeanjeanie Posted 2 years ago
Hi, lost both my parents

Lost both my parents a year ago 😢 iv just had there anniversaries, im still unsure how I feel, I cry all the time, I cant talk to anyone, I dont like to involve others 😔 I thought this little group my help.

1 like & 13 replies
    • waterbrook 11th December 2020 at 6:15 pm

      Sorry to read this. Anniversaries are always difficult especially first anniversaries but many find that in the event it isn’t quite as bad as they fear. Did your parents die together? or at different times? crying añd confusion is not unusual. I know that some people think they shouldn’t cry and should keep a stiff upper lip but in the long run,this is often unhelpful. I wonder how you would feel if one of your friends was upset and just kept quiet about it? Grief is a natural part of life. It is a consequence of the love we have had. Why not try contacting Cruse Bereavement care? Look them up on line!

      • Jeanjeanie 12th December 2020 at 12:24 pm

        I haven’t been in touch with anyone, I dont like to trouble people, im quite independent you see. My parents died 20 days apart from each other, that was a double whammy., thanks for your time.

        • waterbrook 17th December 2020 at 9:24 am

          JeanJeanie,it certainly must have been a double whammy.im so sorry. Many people feel they don’t want to trouble others. Sometimes being overly independent isn’t helpful.I think we need to work towards a healthy interdependence….it took me years to reach that conclusion.I think we all need others,

      • Annie Smythe 27th December 2020 at 9:43 am

        I like your explanation that grief is a consequence of the love we had . I find that comforting after suddenly losing mum last January. I help others in my life but I can’t help myself somehow. I need that unconditional love she gave me.

    • Deleted User 11th December 2020 at 8:43 pm

      Hello. I am so deeply sorry for your losses and the pain you are feeling. It’s hard. I lost my father last December and then my daughter this February. I completely broke. I ended up in hospital for 8 weeks. I just couldn’t function. Do you have any support? Have you seen your doctor? It’s a good place to start. Nothing can take away your grief and there are no rules to how long you grieve or how to, everyone is different, it’s a roller coaster journey. And I know this only now. Please take care of yourself, do things that your usually like even if you don’t get the same joy as I believe it will come, eventually. My heart goes out to you xx

    • Noel29 11th December 2020 at 10:04 pm

      Hello,I am so sorry for your loss.I don’t know how that feels but I have lost alot of loved ones so I can sympathise .If you want to get back in touch please do.

    • Betsy 12th December 2020 at 5:06 pm

      I do hope that this group will help you at least to come to terms with your innermost feelings Jeanie. What a double whammy you have had to go through no wonder you don’t know how you are feeling! you must still be in shock. A year isn’t that long and anniversaries are the worst as are Birthdays and Christmases too. I cry quite a lot of the time now, whereas at first I couldn’t even let go. I lost my husband only six months ago but it still feels like yesterday. The pain is still so raw and the thought of Christmas without him is unthinkable he was my Christmas. Somehow, and I don’t know how, but we will get through this awful time in our lives. I just hope that when that happens I will be able to be there for others going through the worst time of their lives. God Bless you write whenever you like I would be pleased to hear how your doing perhaps we could help each other. Betsy xx

    • Roger Bulpitt 17th December 2020 at 1:12 pm

      May the LORD be kind and gracious unto you,
      May He look on you with favour and give you peace
      Num. 6.25:26

    • JayCee 4th June 2021 at 8:10 am

      Hi Jeanjeanie,
      I can empathise with you as I lost my Dad in July 19, my Mum in February 20 and have just lost my partner Paul in April this year. Almost every month seemed to have a birthday or anniversary to remind me of the loss of my parents and now I have even more anniversaries to cope with having just (this week) said my final goodbye to my darling Paul. It’s all so very raw and just as you begin to pick yourself up along comes another day/date to remind you of what you have lost!
      All my friends are married with lives and families of their own and like you I don’t like to ‘bother’ people.
      I took early retirement and due to lockdown I feel that the world is a very lonely place. I have to admit this is a tiny bit self inflicted as I don’t like/want to go out now as I am anxious about leaving the ‘safety’ of my own home.
      I hope to find some support from this and similar groups. 🙏

    • Stirredbutnotshaken 5th June 2021 at 8:05 am

      I am so sad to read about everyone’s losses. I send you all strength in your grief.
      Grief is an awful journey that sadly, we all have to navigate at some point.
      I lost both of my parents before I was 30. I’ve never known emotional pain like it before, or since.
      As someone has mentioned, we all experience grief differently.
      There are 5 recognised stages of grief and the stages are non linear.

      Elizabeth Kubler Ross is a recognised expert on these stages. I would politely suggest you Google her. It might help to read about the stages and give context to your loss.
      CRUSE bereavement services can also help.