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RunningGirl21 Posted 9 months ago
Hi, I’m new to Restless today. I’m Fed up with lockdown and looking forward to planning adventures . I’ve never been away in my own but am thinking perhaps now is the right time. Not sure how I feel about sitting in a restaurant or bar on my own though. How do other people get past this? Thanks
47 likes & 123 replies
    • Ronnie B 12th July 2021 at 2:21 am

      Hi, Depending on where your going it may be worth travelling with a group of people you don’t know it takes away all the worries you may have, and all is sorted for you, have a look at trips with Intrepid travel, travelled many times with them and loved it all,

    • karsteele 13th July 2021 at 12:07 am

      I’ve done lone travel all over the world. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation in a bar or cafe. Start by asking a question. Never tell someone you’re travelling alone. Find some excuse like your travel companion has gone to visit friends or they’re at hotel having a nap. Have a fantastic time wherever you go. And last but not least respect dress codes.

    • SallyAnn29 18th July 2021 at 2:01 pm

      I hadn’t been away for 25 years and realised that unless I travelled solo that it would be another 25 years. I had a week away on Rhodes in 2016 and since then I’ve been away solo another 20+ times, including 2 weeks in Florida in 2019. It may be just me, but once you’ve travelled solo, you’ll never want to travel with others again. Most people have a phone, which is handy whilst sat waiting for a meal, I just people watch. If a 50-something can go to Disney World and hug a lifesize mouse, then you have nothing to fear but the fear itself. Travelling solo is liberating, you answer to no one and can do as you please.

    • Flossie 18th July 2021 at 2:10 pm

      For my 50th Birthday I booked with Intrepid Travel & flew to Bangkok where I met a group of Ladies & travelled to Singapore, we are all still friends 6 years later & have visited each other in their country. I then flew from Singapore to Jakarta & met another group travelled down to Bali. The last week I was on my own in a 5 star hotel, very daunting going to sit at a table on your own, surprising how many people asked to join them, I had a lot of fun. Later that year I joined another group at Luton Airport & we went to Transylvania & back packed through Romania. Met some great people.

    • SH 18th July 2021 at 2:12 pm

      Pre lockdown, I enjoy going out and about on my own, at first it was a bit daunting going into a restaurant by myself but I took something to read, now I am happy just to go and eat, relax and people watch. I would say just make sure you are safe and good good luck with your adventures.

    • Ronnie B 18th July 2021 at 7:41 pm

      Travelled all over Asia, and South America with a group called Intrepid, well worth looking at if like me your a little nervous off going alone, But next year will be going back to Asia and travelling Solo for a few months hopefully, and still a little nervous but found Asia extremely friendly , So Running Girl if you get started before me would love to hear about how you have booked your trip and where you are going to ,,

    • Kral Cenna 19th July 2021 at 8:21 am

      I’ve been a solo traveller a lot of my life and love it … the freedom it gives you. You can do what YOU want to! Embrace it!
      As for the restaurant scenario – I can’t think of many things more wonderful than finding a quiet table, taking out a good book from your bag, a glass of wine and delicious meal. Cheers!

    • Stephen1968 19th July 2021 at 12:49 pm

      Nothing nicer than sitting in a coffee shop and people watching, but then I regularly start random conversations with strangers. Restaurants are trickier I suspect.

    • Paul095 19th July 2021 at 5:04 pm

      Wasn’t there a group on “meet up” where you could join people out for a meal and or other things ??

    • Marie65 19th July 2021 at 6:42 pm

      I went away for the first time in my life just before lock down and I would recommend it , kids all grown separated an I had a lovely time

    • Gw 19th July 2021 at 7:28 pm

      I’ve done holidays on my own. I don’t mind going for a drink on my own but find going into restaurants, especially in the evening, awkward. I tend to go for a big lunch and then just have a takeaway in my hotel room in the evening.

    • Fair Weather Camper 20th July 2021 at 3:17 pm

      Always nice to have someone to hang around with when travelling somewhere new. It allows a little more confidence/safety when finding oneself lost in a back lane whilst exploring.

      I do miss that companionship on a holiday, though a package holiday (which isn’t really my thing) sitting around or close to the resort is usually quite easy to buddy up with someone. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I went on a holiday lol.

    • Anniemag 21st July 2021 at 6:06 pm

      I go in my doblo anywhere, own sink, loo and bed

    • alka763 31st July 2021 at 8:52 pm

      I walk in and order a drink first.
      Look at all my family photos and eye the place as well.
      If Iike it will order food.
      If not finish the drink and go to another place.

    • Just Me at the moment. 3rd August 2021 at 12:49 pm

      Where U from?

    • Cerie’s time4travel 16th August 2021 at 3:57 pm

      Hi there I have been trying to set up a group of people who are either single or want to go away but are a bit reluctant to go it totally alone. This is a link to the facebook group.
      I am going to put up all sorts of ideas currently have a few people interested in renting one large house together, but another lady is the same as you. Interested in touring so I have sent her a lot of info on solo tours. Would you like any info on this sort of thing?

      • FlorenceA 4th September 2021 at 12:18 am

        I have just joined your facebook group. Very good idea.

      • alka763 12th September 2021 at 12:30 pm

        Yes, as I would like to connect with people who like to travel and enjoy various festivals.
        I found Madeira offers different venues throughout the year and is less then 4hours away by plane. Weather is warm all year round.
        There are flower festivals, wine, rally, music, arts and food and cultural festivals.
        Their world famous Christmas Lights Festival as well.
        They are now offering Shiv Yoga and well being centres.

    • Linpap 1st September 2021 at 9:15 am

      I always try to engage with whoever is serving me ask their opinion on the dish I’ve chosen etc and I try not to look embarrassed but sit up and openly look around me but try not to catch anyone’s eye (unless there happens to be someone attractive who’s also on their own then I guess I might venture a little smile!) I do keep my phone on the table and if for some reason I feel uncomfortable I can always glance at that I have seen people on their own working at laptops or reading a book but I prefer to carry on as if I am with other company looking around people watching and savouring the food have done this a few times and always had a pleasant experience

    • Nels61 1st September 2021 at 7:49 pm

      I’m on my own now and find it quite hard to go places on my own, my friend told me to have a book or a magazine in my bag and if I feel lonely take it out and read it, this worked for me !

    • pesh 2nd September 2021 at 5:16 pm

      Think if you can do it once it will be ok, myself have to try it but so many people do, it’s the thought of it puts one off

    • ellegoode 4th September 2021 at 6:52 am

      Hi. Welcome to the group. I haven’t posted much since I joined. I’m still feeling my way around it. But just to say I felt very similar to you but then I just decided to take on the adventure. First time I went to a restaurant on my own was very daunting but I found it very therapeutic just people watching. People do want to chat to you and I’ve met some lovely families. Go for it I say ….

    • Louise F 12th September 2021 at 1:44 pm

      I either take a good book, magazine etc; or sit at the bar and chat to the staff if they’re not too busy. A couple of glasses of red later and all self consciousness goes lol lol lol 😂

    • Zoechaos 13th September 2021 at 9:15 am

      You post set me off in all sorts of directions. Happily single I have long since learnt to shrug my shoulders and let other people think what they want. They will anyway. Restaurant service has never been less than expected because I’m on my own. Live your life and have your adventures you’ll find other people will enjoy learning about it.

      Looking for something adventurous to do? Try Go Ape a friend and I did it recently, no I didn’t go alone that time. We are both in our 60s so got a few “what are those 2 old girls doing here looks”. But we also had great fun.

    • Sheila967 14th September 2021 at 10:50 pm

      I’m going to Chester on my own this Friday and staying in a hotel. It is the first time I will be on my own. I feel both nervous and excited.

    • Sandyg 15th October 2021 at 11:10 pm

      that’s a place iv always meant to visit
      I did take myself to S.Wsles this week booked 2 seperate nights Airbnb,and really enjoyed the Gower area so beautiful, really didn’t need any company.

    • Michael Bennett 16th October 2021 at 4:05 pm

      It looks as though you got a great number of replies. Did you ever bite the bullet and do it?

      I did my first ever solo trip in the UK this year. I was worried that I wouldn’t be motivated to do too much but in fact I really loved it. I was active from minute 1 because I didn’t need to consider anyone else. I also found I had a lot more small interactions with other people I came across – just passing the time of day – which I’d never normally do – and it was just pleasant.

    • Nick J 20th October 2021 at 6:19 am

      Hi Annie. I know exactly what you mean about feeling awkward on your own. As a man, I am aware that if I go for a walk in the woods or even the park, I am seen as a potential threat, which I hate. As for pubs and cafes, it should be perfectly fine for any person to sit and while the day away on their own, but experience tells me I feel a lot more comfortable if I have a prop; so, take a book or a newspaper, a laptop or just your phone and you become ‘normal’. I hate all bloodsports but the weirdest ‘truth’ is that if you sit on a river bank watching the world go by, you’re a freak; if you’re trying to drag a fish out of the water on a hook, you’re a sportsman. So when you go for a walk in the woods take binoculars- bingo, you’re an ornithologist. When you’re in that cafe with a laptop, you’re a student or an itinerant office worker! All ridiculous but true. Good luck, and try not to worry too much about others.

      • Suz Soh 25th November 2021 at 9:15 am

        Interesting perspective 🙂 from female POV it is hard for me to go to a pub or drinks bar on my own….females sitting alone send off a different message…You are right, bring a newspaper or keep a phone or kindle handy…look like you are on a business trip — this makes it more legit for solo female sitting alone at bar or pub..or staying at hotel. (being Oriental lady is even worse!…the stereotype in East & West are the same. I was travelling alone in Borneo for fun, renting a car to drive around on my own, the rental guy looked at me strangely wondering what this Asian lady is doing by herself (seems Western ladies are ok..travel alone, backpacking…but not Asian ones? Anyway, he told me I shouldn’t be travelling/driving on my own in Borneo…not safe he warned….good for him to be concerned, but he is right…I could run out of petrol on my own in mountain and a lady stuck alone at night up in forest can be dangerous….) So have common sense and plan your trips, drives, adventures carefully…bearing in mind about nightfall…you need to be reaching somewhere safe in civilised place, or back in hotel…unless it is in a safe city like Singapore or Hong Kong….ENJOY and stay safe, wonderful to go around on your own meeting new people, seeing new places without being dragged around by tour guides:)

    • karsteele 22nd October 2021 at 6:25 pm

      Take a book. Write in a journal about your day. Describe in your journal where you are eating and make it enjoyable. I’ve found often, when abroad, and eating alone, people will talk to you or say can I join you. Have fun.

    • Deleted User 22nd October 2021 at 6:55 pm

      A warm Welcome RG21,
      I usually carry a book with me – but observing and enjoying the moment, the ambiance background music etc. really helps.
      All the best!

    • Jayy12 24th October 2021 at 9:32 pm

      I have been going in holiday on my own for a long time now and really enjoy it. When younger I would never have considered it but now think it’s great.
      There are holiday groups like Just You that you can join. As for eating in a restaurant or bar in your own, just concentrate in enjoying your meal or drink .

    • Missgbill 25th November 2021 at 7:14 am

      Lockdown has caused me to be agoraphobic- my kids have left home, I m living alone- my parents have health problems so I’m feeling sorry for myself as I’ve got no- one to do things with.

      • Suz Soh 25th November 2021 at 9:23 am

        Ya.. same here too esp after last year’s lockdown. Take it one step at a time, try a little walk around the block and if there is a cafe with tables outside on pavements, or a beer garden, have a drink and watch people (or no people) go by….good to go out during weekday when less people around, avoid lunchtime crowds or rush hours if you are near town. After taking short walk locally, try taking a short bus ride (or drive out to a garden centre or village shop) to gradually ease into “normal life”. Take care 🙂