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APOXON Posted 4 months ago
Hi I have just joined. I’m currently going through a divorce, which is heartbreaking I feel very alone and just want to make new friends, chat and generally get going with my life again.

I am 61 but still enjoy the nice things in life good food, good company, nice holidays (when we can) I live in Maidstone Kent and have 3 grown up children

29 likes & 49 replies
    • PIPI 16th August 2021 at 3:39 pm

      Hi ,i lost my soul mate 2 years ago to renal failure .Im so lost i dont know what to do .IM a young 75 and just want a like minded friend like me .Thats all i want is a cuddle now and then and someone to say it will be ok .Life is a bitch i think at moment .I just cant push myself to go out and im not type of person to push myself on anyone .I have cried so much i dont think i have tears left .Thank you to anyone who reads this

      • Sandyg 14th September 2021 at 10:21 pm

        Pipi,it’s so sad for you, we are all alone due to splitting up but you had your ideal partner taken from you …take comfort that you were together ‘ til death did you part’ and knowing you were never rejected as a lot of us have been, Let the Love you shared continue to sustain you , it never goes away….

    • Be Be 17th August 2021 at 3:38 pm

      Hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. I’ve been there, after 32yrs in an unhappy marriage, we split. I moved to Brighton and have never looked back. It’s the best move I’ve ever made. I love my freedom and independence. You will get there too. Big hugs and love to all of you going through it😊

    • Brighton Belle 17th August 2021 at 6:01 pm

      I’ve been through divorce over 30 years ago you feel sad +heartbroken at the time but you get back on your feet after all the trauma and become your own person-Ive had breakups with live in partners since you just become more independent ……..

    • Kevin1964 18th August 2021 at 7:05 am
    • PIPI 18th August 2021 at 1:10 pm

      Lovely words Kevin ,it says it all x

    • April may 26th August 2021 at 10:09 am

      This is your life now make your list of what you want and do it the new you , look forward and not backwards.

    • Shazzah 14th September 2021 at 2:56 pm

      Hi I have also just joined and my divorce will be final next month after 30 years . The first few months I was at rock bottom , but then kept telling myself why I was divorcing him , which made me feel better . It’s very hard when you have been with someone a long time , but you will start to feel better , and love yourself , if I can do it anybody can . Always here for a natter if you feel the need . Chin up , shoulders back , you can do this 🥰

    • PennyB 29th September 2021 at 5:10 pm

      So sorry to hear this. I am 58 and am having severe relationship issues. I hope you find someone lovely!

    • Loveagoldie 29th September 2021 at 9:40 pm

      Im in the same position as you. Just started the divorce proceedings.
      We are still living in the same house at the moment which is really tough.
      We have a separate building which we Airbnb. He will move into that at the end of October after our part guests have gone and I can’t wait. Mother house is going on the market soon and I just hope it sells quickly.
      We moved away from my family and friends two years ago. I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to move back to be near them.
      Im finding it so hard and daunting trying to work out where I should love to. I don’t want to stay in this village whe. He is going to be here.

      • debm19 12th November 2021 at 10:14 am

        It’s so hard isn’t it, my ex has started seeing my neighbour who lives across the road , and her children go to the school I drive past with our daughter every day the constant reminder is killing me,
        we split last year after 21 years , it’s sounds like early days for both of us, I’m thinking for me it’s too soon to make big decisions but I will consider moving away if he insists on being on our door step , sending hugs Deb

        • Loveagoldie 16th November 2021 at 3:34 pm

          My situation is identical to you. He is seeing a neighbour too. I thought something was going on.
          Don’t get me wrong, us separating is totally the right thing. We haven’t been happy for years. I’ve felt and still do feel incredibly lonely. Now he’s moved out of the main house it is slightly easier. At least I don’t know when he is coming and going. I just wish the house sells quickly so I can move on.
          I now have a small part time job which gets me out, but I am making sure I am working around the dogs’ needs. I don’t want him to have any opportunity to say I’m not caring for the dogs properly.
          I am sure he will find a full time job paying mega bucks, but trying not to think of that. I would never be able to get a job where my pay equals his.
          Good luck xx

        • debm19 16th November 2021 at 8:06 pm

          I was lucky I suppose as he inherited a house a few years ago which he had rented out so he’s moved into that mortgage/ rent free so I don’t have to live with him whilst getting divorced, he has a very well paid job in the city but is a spender and a gambler, I work part time which is giving me a focus and a dog that has to be walked past his new girl friends house twice a day which is hard but my mantra is he’s her problem now, but it still hurts as he’s had 3 women in the last 6 months , which he has introduced to our teenager daughter and 2 of whom I know from school runs and to chat too

    • Linpap 30th September 2021 at 7:49 am

      Hi I’m actually widowed so have different emotions to deal with but loneliness is the same however I am finding I do enjoy my own company and can watch whatever I like on TV, eat/drink whatever I like when I want, I’ve become slightly eccentric and deal with insomnia by wandering around the garden listening to music without having to think about disturbing anyone else, can turn the light on in the middle of the night, it is sad to lose your partner but remember you are still a person in your own right and can still have fun keep smiling that lovely friendly smile even when you’re feeling a bit down and eventually you’ll realise it’s not a pretence you really do feel happy or at least contented (and 61 is the best age😉)

    • Newlandspeter 30th September 2021 at 8:02 am

      I’ve also just joined, my divorce finalised recently and I’m gradually finding a new life for myself. Be patient, open and most of all, be yourself and you will find that your connections grow and some will become those new friends. Good luck and have fun!

    • Brighton Belle 30th September 2021 at 8:12 am

      I know how you feel my world fell apart when I got divorced 35 yrs ago after being married for 18 years takes time to heal and get back on your feet again -although I was working and had young daughter I took up evening classes for Pottery & Art took my exams and passed -I met some lovely people at these classes which I still keep in contact with although I’ve moved house several times -so happier times will come to you it all takes time-

    • SteveInWales 30th September 2021 at 9:42 am

      Just look at the number of responses above. The number of people who have been where you are now, including myself.
      In time the messy divorce will be over and you can get on with your life. I know it seems tough right now but it does get better.
      I’ve now been single for 2 years after a break up, and then went through the lockdowns completely alone with no family locally to form a bubble with. At times I felt like I was in prison and in solitary confinement, and I felt my mental health beginning to suffer because of this. But I’ve come through this now and I have now met a wonderful lady and my life is slowly getting better and I’m so much happier now.
      So I know it all looks grim right now, but that won’t last forever and there will be happier times ahead.
      Good luck.

    • SteveInWales 30th September 2021 at 9:50 am

      Oh and by the way. I see you posted this in Dating. I found my lady in Dating on Rest Less :o)

    • pesh 15th October 2021 at 2:41 pm

      Terrible time to get through, try to stay determined and you will eventually get there, happy to chat if you feel like it some times it can help , write things down , this can help get, try it some one recommended it tome whilst going through a nasty split up, good luck, remember you are making steps by writing on here in my opinion.

    • Sally Scarecrow 15th October 2021 at 4:00 pm

      I’m 57 and have been divorced for 10 years. I was married for almost 18 years. It was a difficult time in my life, but my children pulled me through. Without them, I don’t know what I’d have done. Things will get better, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’m up in Yorkshire, but not too far away on here, if you want a natter.

    • APOXON 15th October 2021 at 4:15 pm

      Hi Sally thanks it’s reassuring to know. It’s so difficult for me to move on at the moment. We are both living in the same house as although he wants the split he’s not prepared to move out and as yet has made no move to get things sorted out financially. It is like living in constant limbo and having to see him everyday is not helping me to come to terms and get over it all. I just can’t seem too move on.

    • Alan J 22nd October 2021 at 9:26 pm

      I can only empathise and undrstand your plight, but from what i’m told time is a healer, you need to step back and take time out. I should imagine a Divorce is like a Bereavement, with the mourning attached, but what has happened has happened, you need you time, and take time to sort it out emotionally, my Sister got divorced after a long Marriage, over 10 years ago now, her life is just what she wanted and is very happy.

      it takes time, and forgiving yourself and others, the rest will come

    • Suzesue 23rd October 2021 at 8:06 am

      Its heartbreaking when it happens,my husband walked out last year after 28 years. Not were I expected to be at the age of 53 .
      Take each day as it comes, its ok not to be ok, take time for yourself, be kind to yourself. I seem to have gone through every emotion possible but getting there, some days are good but still have occasional wobbles . It may not seem it now but it slowly starts to get a little easier. Take care of yourself 😊🤗

    • APOXON 23rd October 2021 at 8:21 am

      Thank you I’m trying to stay strong but it’s difficult at the moment as we are still living in the same house, so it makes it even harder to get away from him to start the healing process. Where are you from x

    • APOXON 23rd October 2021 at 8:24 am

      Just seen you are from Wiltshire. I have a cousin who lives in Medbourne which is near Swindon x

    • DebC 24th October 2021 at 9:03 am

      Two weeks in separating from my husband of 25 years x

    • APOXON 24th October 2021 at 9:33 am

      Oh I’m sorry it hurts like hell doesn’t it but stay strong and we will get there. X

    • debm19 12th November 2021 at 10:03 am

      Hi I’m new to restless and saw your post, I’m also going through a divorce after 21 years together ( 15 married) and know how you feel its daunting isn’t it. I’m ready to start making new friends and experiencing life again, I’m 57 but have a 14 year old so have a young outlook on life, I live in Essex but drive so looking forward to any meet ups ( even though its scary lol), I also have 2 grown up children, Deb

    • Good ol Sussex Boy 16th November 2021 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Apoxon

      I, like you, am 61 and last year lost my wife of 35 years to cancer (brutally, barely six months after losing my mother). Nothing I can say will make things better for you as I can’t possibly know what you are going through.

      What I do know is that it is darkest before dawn. Believe that and you WILL survive and, better than that, learn to enjoy and live life again.

      Wishing you everything you wish for yourself

    • MalcolmC 16th November 2021 at 6:00 pm

      I know how you are feeling. I am just at the end of the process. I have found the Restless Community a source of help, encouragement and support during this time.

      Lonliness can be hard after being someone for so long but I have found a combination of this forum and reaching out to old friends has helped.

      I am now at a stage where I am looking forward. Meeting new people who I hope will become new friends and, who knows, maybe a new special person who can be that little bit more than friends.

      I am not local but am always willing to chat.

      Take care and stay safe.

    • Paulbilly 16th November 2021 at 7:09 pm

      Hi Apoxon, I am sorry to hear you are going through a divorce. I had the misfortune to suffer an extremely bad divorce many years ago which involved two young children.I eventually got through it, but being able to talk to people helped me tremendously. If ever you feel the need to talk. Just message.

    • Sandyg 18th November 2021 at 8:13 pm

      There are so many of us in this situation..you don’t realise until you join the ranks…Im 62, sepersted at age 60 after 38 year marriage..4 grown children…moved away to start a new Life after 33 years in same home.not so easy during lockdown !
      Been here a year now, and it does now feel like Home.

    • APOXON 18th November 2021 at 8:30 pm

      Thank you it is difficult to imagine at our time of life that we have to go through all this and start over but as you say I’m not the only one going through this. Glad you are building your life again onwards and upwards for both of us x

    • Pennyt916 20th November 2021 at 9:06 pm

      Hello there, it took me over 3 years to get my divorce finalised despite him wanting the split, continued delays and excuses but after it was all done I felt so much freedom. I realised that I had been continually put down and made to feel small over nearly 30 years when in fact I’m an intelligent female civil engineer. Just know that you are so much better and life will be your own from now on. I’m always up for a chat if you want to sound off as I know how hard this can be. Stay strong 😊