Home Forums Bereavement Hi I find myself a bit Lost at the moment

Rise and shine Posted 4 months ago
Hi I find myself a bit Lost at the moment

Recently become widowed my husband passed away in June of last year of cancer married for 22 years With him for 30 life seems very strange at the moment

4 likes & 11 replies
    • Linpap 20th January 2022 at 8:34 am

      Hi Rise and Shine good name what I should be doing now! I am so sorry for your loss and empathise with how you are feeling, my husband of 22 years died suddenly the summer before yours and I remember feeling very lost at first but gradually I am getting my mojo back and feel on a more even keel and able to cope I am even learning new skills sorted out a new speaker for myself yesterday the sort of thing my husband would always have done in the past Of course I still have moments when I feel down and lonely but I regularly look at this forum and interact a bit there is usually something to entertain me and I feel I have made friends on here it has helped and cheered me up I hope you find the same

    • Soixate 21st January 2022 at 9:33 am

      Hi Rise and shine. Sending you my heartfelt condolences. I too am recently widowed, I lost my husband to cancer at the end of November and am doing exactly the same as you, one day at a time. The lovely people on here have assured me this is normal, so many mixed emotions in one day and this can be draining!
      No one can imagine the empty feeling inside until you have lost the love of your life, I am trying to get out as much as I can for walks and fresh air which does help.
      I’m here to chat if you want to. Take care x

    • Buttercup19 21st January 2022 at 10:27 am

      Hello Rise & Shine, Sorry for your loss and I know how your feeling as l lost my husband of 44 years in Sept 20, if you have Facebook you may find this small, friendly & supportive group for ladies only that are bereaved.

    • BeverleyC 21st January 2022 at 12:41 pm

      Hi Rise and shine.

      Like you I lost my husband in June last year. He had prostate cancer. Unlike you we’d only been together for 8 years (married for almost 5). it was sudden really. within the space of just a few short weeks he went from a prognosis of 5 years, to 3 years, to 6 months, to 3 months – he died 2 weeks later but 48 hours prior to his passing we were still making plans for him to spend his last 3 months at home.

      It’s been heartbreaking to have to slowly learn to live without him. He was my soulmate and we were both so very grateful for having been given a chance at happiness so late in life.

      I’m taking one day at a time and following the advice such as joining a choir, taking up a hobby (learning spanish), volunteering one day a week, and accepting every single invitation I possibly can – when my son died in 2009 I quickly learned that people stop inviting if the answer is always no so I’ve made a huge effort not to repeat that mistake. I watch comedy shows. It helps to laugh even if it does feel somewhat forced to make myself sit down and switch the TV on – patiently watching and waiting means that eventually I manage a smile and then a laugh because, let’s be honest, grieving is exhausting.

      I’ve also started seeing a counsellor as the other thing I learned is that people move on so much more quickly than the bereaved person can. And they run out of responses – in short they get bored and frustrated. Seeing a counsellor helps me to go through it as many times as I need to. I’ve not yet learned to accept that he’s not coming back but I’m managing to find a little pleasure in life. It doesn’t last for long but it’s slowly improving.

      I try to pop onto this forum every day – it helps. Take good care of yourself. And make sure you eat properly. I’ve only just begun to make an effort in that department.

      • Rise and shine 21st January 2022 at 8:33 pm

        Ohh sorry for your loss i’m supposed to be seeing a counsellor because of Covid and everything it’s all been put on the back burner i try and keep positive but it’s so hard I live on the coast so I can go down on the beach and have a walk your correct food is not my priority please take care