Home Forums Loneliness Happy new year

John 64 Posted 5 months ago
Happy new year

Well it’s now here, we’ve stepped into 2022, a time when we should all be feeling optimistic for what lies ahead, maybe this is the year I get back my smile, laughter, my happy, so why do I feel down, why do I feel stuck in a life that feels like groundhog, was up to see the new year in, and this morning was up at 5, cut a piece of pie I made New Year’s Eve, (my first pie ever) I impressed even myself, and I made my own pastry, up at 5, piece of pie and a coffee and put on a movie with my headphones on, something I enjoy doing when I have no plans for the day, watched “upgrade” interesting movie if you haven’t watched it,
Weather’s not looking too bad here today in Brighton, may get a walk along the front, really hoping this year is a heart starter, the thought of going through another uncertain year is Daunting, I feel financially trapped in this relationship, never thought that when I built my attic room 20 years ago that I would be using it as my bedroom, although it is a cool room with a surround sound cinema, think this year I may have to look into financial advice, as I don’t want to sell the house, and see if it’s possible to buy my partner out, don’t hold much hope in that, amazing how one day you feel secure in life, happy in what you both have built, only to realize it could all come crashing down, don’t think I’d want to start again, just buy a camper and travel, till the fuel and money run out, and with luck, the road ends also, there’s a cheery not to start the new year, happy new your everyone .

8 likes & 30 replies
    • Linpap 1st January 2022 at 9:44 am

      Oh John my heart goes out to you New Year certainly is a time when we take stock and think about how to sort out our lives often not easy and your situation sounds very difficult and painful when I’m feeling down I try to focus on just little things and taking one step at a time the big picture can be just too daunting

    • Retesale🎋🌻 1st January 2022 at 10:28 am

      I’ve been training myself, for long time, to accept and surrender to God all the situation iam in. All my thoughts and feelings, all my actions. Trying to accept life as it is. No easy I must say! Trying to detaches from ‘things’. It is a constant training.
      The plan for 2022 is to accept life as it is, trusting that God knows what is best for me. Easy? No. I just carry on!
      A healthy New Year to you 🙏

    • Always 1st January 2022 at 6:40 pm

      Life can sometimes suck John that’s for sure especially when you are stuck in a situation from which there seems no escape. I wish you well and hope you find your rainbows end xx

    • Shallom 1st January 2022 at 7:34 pm

      I am still waiting, is there really light at the end of the tunnel i am not convinced.

      • John 64 1st January 2022 at 8:43 pm

        There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, if not, your in a dead end cave lol,
        Most on here will be in our situation, and I am trying hard to be positive, I have more crap days than I do good, I’ve forgotten how to laugh, and 9 out 10 smiles are just a front:)

      • Always 1st January 2022 at 9:14 pm

        We have to believe there is otherwise we’d just give up x it’s there somewhere just keep looking x

        • John 64 2nd January 2022 at 7:41 am

          I guess I’m fortunate to have interests, like self teaching to play the guitar, art, my camper, classic car, walking along the beach on a Sunday morning, gardening, my job, but right now they all seem to just float around outside of their box, like a puzzle that needs doing, and now the worry of a split up, sale of a house I’ve spent 30 years to get it where it is now, from fitting a new kitchen, bathroom to building a cinema /art room in the attic, I know I won’t do that all again, and would probably settle for renting a room and lose all the memories, a depressing thought.

        • Always 2nd January 2022 at 7:51 am

          Never say never John and certainly you shouldn’t settle for something that won’t make you happy (renting a room) that would just be awful 😢 especially when you’ve spent so many years building a home you are clearly proud of

          I know what you mean about the puzzle pieces floating in the air my pieces are all here I just can’t get them to fit together!

          Keep up those activities and keep busy it’s the best way to keep the demons at bay

    • Shallom 1st January 2022 at 10:02 pm

      Thats all i can do.Maybe one day!

    • Deleted User 2nd January 2022 at 8:42 am

      If it’s any consolation I’ve been divorced twice, started my life again at 34 with a few grand in my pocket. Walked away from a nice big house. Second time (not planned) I had to borrow money to buy my ex out.

      Happiness is more important, you can rebuild.

      • John 64 2nd January 2022 at 9:50 am

        I have considered buying my partner out, but no idea where to stand, as it would be about 170k!

        • Susan H 10th January 2022 at 7:57 am

          Hi John, I am sorry to heart you are feeling trapped. I have had to start again at 64 with very little but it beats being in a stale and unhappy environment. Can you not let your partner buy you out?
          It is so much better to have a new project, ie yourself than plod along in a checkmate situation.


    • Staying Alive 2nd January 2022 at 8:49 am

      I know how you feel just going through the same thing. Second time round.

      • Always 2nd January 2022 at 9:29 am


      • John 64 2nd January 2022 at 9:55 am

        Wow! 2nd time around,
        I don’t think I could go through losing someone I care for a second time round, I can just barely imagine losing my first and having to start again at 57:(
        Plans of traveling together through Europe in our older age in my camper now seems like a distant dream, we did it 10 years ago, best break we’d ever done:(

    • Deleted User 2nd January 2022 at 9:20 am

      Hi John This sounds very familiar to me as 1 minute I had a happy healthy life with family, next I lose my Husband and both of my children and now on Immunotherapy for Cancer and having to go it alone as I only have a Sister and she lives in America. I was about to do the Campervan thing then got diagnosed so stuck behind the prison doors at the moment with friends disappearing as if I had the plague. Chin up John if you have your health anything is possible. Happy Healthy New Year. Pamela. x

      • Linpap 2nd January 2022 at 9:53 am

        Oh Pamela what a tough time you’re having. I lost my husband unexpectedly about 16 months ago can feel very lonely and sad. I do hope your treatment works well you must feel quite isolated especially in these Covid times take care of yourself x

        • Deleted User 2nd January 2022 at 10:34 am

          I am sorry to hear about your Husband. Yes life does get lonely especially when your friends start disappearing, you would think Cancer was contagious, but I guess that is people for you. Take Care xx

        • Linpap 2nd January 2022 at 10:40 am

          Thank you Pamela you may find reaching out to people on here helps there’s usually someone nice to chat to. How did you lose your children and husband? (if you don’t mind me asking) x

        • Linpap 2nd January 2022 at 10:42 am

          Maybe your friends are anxious that you are shielding and they shouldn’t come near? And I think people just don’t know what to say xx

        • Deleted User 2nd January 2022 at 11:11 am

          Yes you may be right but there is always txt & phone calls and as when my second Daughter died I said all I wanted was for my friends to treat me normally. xx

        • Linpap 2nd January 2022 at 12:02 pm

          I know I am not making excuses but a few people have said to me they feel awkward even though I try not to make them feel like that I am so sorry you don’t have good friends to turn to other possibility may be counselling? Xx

        • Deleted User 2nd January 2022 at 12:25 pm

          Thank you for reply, I didn’t mean it to come across that I felt you were making excuses, it’s just that in the past if a friend of mine has been ill I have made more of an attempt to be there for them but I guess not everyone is the same, it just seems strange to me when I have been told what a wonderful friend I am but when I need understanding it all goes out the window. It may just be where I live now as my friends back home have stayed loyal. xx

      • John 64 2nd January 2022 at 9:59 am

        I’m lost for words Pamela, my world fades in to significants when listening to yours,
        I’m so sorry to hear yours, there’s nothing I can say, only that I’ll think of you through out my day, big hug to you xx

    • Deleted User 2nd January 2022 at 10:26 am

      Thank you John, I don’t know how I keep going but I do & try to put on that happy face. Take Care. 😊

    • Dogtired 10th January 2022 at 10:13 am

      Hi John, it’s so sad you feel this way. Let’s make 2022 the year you get your life back on track.
      I have 2 dogs and they really help my state of mind, a reason to get up, something to care for and 2 walks a day as part of my routine. I realise this may not be feasible in your house but have you thought about a rescue cat or bird even; good company and having a routine of feeding cleaning etc might help.
      Next, what do you enjoy doing? Are you recently retired? What did you do before? Would a school be interested if you volunteered as a mentor? I do exam invigilating too – you can choose your hours and the pay’s decent. Ask at your local school or look online.
      Is there a U3a branch near you? They’re good for social groups, even if you only go along to the monthly meeting. Is Volunteering in a local charity shop something that appeals? Or at a charity? Help the Aged always want people to be a friendly voice at the end of a phone and you could be that person. Have you ever wanted to learn a new skill or language? There might be adult education classes nearby.
      You sound like you’re a good cook – how about just trying a new recipe every week; I’m sure your neighbours will appreciate sharing a cake or two and you might just make some new friends!
      Stay positive – make a plan; doesn’t need to be a huge list, just one thing a week or month but it’ll give you something to focus on and every day need not be the same. Good luck x