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beichris Posted 2 years ago
Found this blog post about the way Men’s mental health is seen in society. Controversial. What do you think?

What do you think? Is Men’s mental just our problem? Can we be the change needed to get it taken more seriously as a societal issue? As i said controversial so standing by!!
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/talking-about-men/201806/it-s-time-stop-blaming-men-their-mental-health-woes

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2 likes & 13 replies
    • Jerry W 11th December 2020 at 9:16 pm

      I found the article helpful, particularly the idea of ‘action-based’ healing and the quote “men don’t talk face-to-face, they talk shoulder-to-shoulder”. Thanks for posting the link.

      Reply
      • beichris 12th December 2020 at 4:51 pm

        Glad it was helpful Jerry, I loved the “shoulder to shoulder” bit too. The number of conversations I have had with my boys over the years sitting shoulder to shoulder in the car.

        Reply
    • Onche 12th December 2020 at 8:37 am

      It is a serious issue as men now have a disturbing rate of suicide at the moment. The first step is to encourage us men to talk about stuff and to educate other men not to always JOKE about everything and listen to each other for a change. I’m here for anyone who wants a chat and some direction as to where to get help. I’m a qualified Mental Health First Aider. Be well

      Reply
      • beichris 12th December 2020 at 4:53 pm

        Onche it is good to know that there are people like you out there to chat to and that you have become a Mental Health First Aider.

        Reply
    • AJB114 12th December 2020 at 8:59 am

      I think the article is pretty accurate in terms that most men are doers and feel comfortable with activity . The talking is almost a by-product of doing something together. Be it a pub on a Friday, bike ride , coffee morning (they’ve started a men only in our village) etc. I’ve often put the worlds to right and discussed personal stuff over a pint on a Friday. Or bike ride , which also gives me a lift just getting some exercise. Likewise a brisk walk and making a couple of phone calls for a catch up works . I guess I’m saying that activity , be it with others , or not is the starting point .
      The posts you see saying “I’m here if you want to talk” are great as its letting people know there is a voice or chat and at the other end . The intent is good and just liking a post is enough for some people .. I’m not an expert and this is only from my experience. But thought I would share.

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      • beichris 12th December 2020 at 4:59 pm

        Hi AJB, thanks for taking the time to read the blog post and comment on it. I am certainly no expert too. I think it is true that men feel comfortable with activity. I certainly do. Great to hear that there is a men only coffee morning in your village. I suppose the men’s shed movement is sort of the same idea.

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    • Deleted User 12th December 2020 at 5:56 pm

      I have had an enduring mental health issue since I was 21 (now 61). I have also worked helping others with depression etc running outdoor physical activities in small groups in the Lake District.
      My take on the article is that it is correct and that doing challenging things together gives a sense of achievement, some closeness and enjoyment – all of which boost mood. Yes shoulder to shoulder, almost incidental talking and sharing usually happens especially if I say a little bit about my problems first.
      Standard talking therapy such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and practicing mindfulness meditation are also very helpful.
      I’m another one happy to talk.
      Thanks for raising the issue and article.
      ☺️

      Reply
      • beichris 13th December 2020 at 10:47 am

        Hi Honister and thanks for commenting. I like the idea of the physical outdoor activities as a way of helping ourselves. The challenge idea is quite important sometimes as well it seems. I wonder what the equivalent is in lockdown? Getting out and about is still a few months away for some of us! Great that you are happy to talk. I am always happy to talk to anyone as well.

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    • Nigelb 15th December 2020 at 6:25 pm

      Humans are tribal hence the doing things. Unfortunately, societal pressure has made people more isolated in day to day life. I am a therapist of 20 years however do not always think that talking is the key sometimes some people need space for self-exploration without pressure. I wonder if there are any stats on mental health in those that have taken a vow of silence?

      Reply
    • beichris 15th December 2020 at 9:13 pm

      Hi Nigel. Really interesting to hear from your experience that talking is not always the answer. Self-exploration without pressure is an intriguing challenge. I guess that some of those who do live in quiet also have a structure for self-exploration for example in certain monastic communities. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
    • min 4th January 2021 at 9:37 pm

      Yeah, nice, the answer is there – men with mental health issues can be helped, and without necessarily talking.

      So what’s controversial? That some people think men should behave like women? That it’s ok to blame the victim if it’s a man?

      Reply
    • Mikey 5th February 2021 at 9:36 pm

      It is good to talk but we must talk to the right people. These days of virtue signalling where every one jumps on the “i support mental health day” but they dont have a clue. They wear the t shirt but where did they get it from? Amazon? and talking to them is a waste of time. We need a common point of reference and shared experience. Men who are or have been there, their t shirt has the holes to prove it are where help comes from.

      Reply
    • Sparky 6th February 2021 at 12:11 am

      I see this is another Americanism.
      With having personal experience in this field, men do tend to bottle up their feelings, in some instances in the machismo society appearing weak and a failure if they open up.
      I agree that there are various avenues men can go down to improve or even open up about their mental health, be it through exercise, team sport, enjoying the great outdoors or even opening up in a safe non judgmental environment.
      #itsokaytotalk
      Check out the website or Facebook pages of Andysmanclub
      Just one of the many organisations open to men’s mental health

      Reply
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