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  • Fear of Retirement

    I spoke to an ex-colleague recently and asked him if he was planning to retire. He said he had thought about it but was too scared to do it.

    I missed the opportunity to ask him, what he was fearful of.

    What were your main fears about retirement, if any ?

    Posted by pinkgekko
Viewing 16 reply threads
    • Reply by SueB


      I was interested in what Jim and Angela had to say about coaching. My employer paid for a pre retirement course where all of those issues were discussed. But there were many participants, me included, who didn’t seem to think that they applied to them. For example I was a civil servant, not a lifetime one like many of those I worked with, and didn’t think that I would miss the feeling of doing something useful. To me it was just a job to get me to retirement and not one of serving my country as many colleagues approached it. But I have missed it and managed to replace it with some volunteering (currently on corona hold). My point is that until you do it you can’t imagine how you will feel and so you do have to review and change as the months and years pass.

      • Reply by Metroman

        SueB – I am very interested in your comments on the Civil Service because of the shear number of roles available now and my work coach drones on about the Civil Service and work coaching especially. At 58.5 years , i am not sure whether i will be killing time or trying to restart my career. What you say seems to suggest that trying the Civil Service would not be a waste of time.

        • Reply by SueB

          Hello. I’d say go for it. The work is reasonably paid and relatively secure. You have the vagaries of govt to deal with as regards pay increases and working conditions. And the pension scheme was made less generous a few years ago. The jobs are varied though and depending on your grade you get different amounts of contact with the public and employers. I found it interesting to learn about taxes, but maybe that’s just me 🙂 Good luck if you decide to apply.

    • Reply by jim

      Wow what a rich and varied range of responses. It’s all so individual isn’t it that it is difficult to generalise. I can empathise with all that is said. this week I listened to a TED talk on an incredible research study from Harvard where quite a few thousand people from many walks of life were regularly interviewed over 50 plus years. The one outstanding conclusion about what made people happy was relationships. Close ones yes but also being socially connected. Lonely isolated people also have shortened lives. While it’s not always easy I would plead with those on their own to find ways of connecting with others. In Bristol through AgeUK we have a whole range of initiatives to connect people together. One is our FAB cafes where the 55 plus meet up for coffee and other activities. During COVID-19 we have been continuing online and on the phone. We also run 121 befriending services. Do find out about what is happening in your local area but there are so many ways of connecting and making new friends. I know this may not sound easy for some but I beseech you to make the effort. You will see such a difference in your quality and duration of life. Jim

    • Reply by highpeakman

      It seems to me that you should stop worrying and start living. Time is the most precious commodity so use it well.

      • Reply by steve clifford

        As someone who has been retired for a few years  I can recommend  it    In ways it is liberating   I took the opportunity to travel around  the west coast of Canada   and vancouver Island  for a year   for a fresh view of how others live   and can strongly recommend it ..


    • Reply by Metroman

      Less than a year after my mother died i turned 55. A month later I was made redundant after 30 years in work. Shortly after that i had the pleasure or undergoing bowel cancer screening. What next i thought.

      Then it hit me , I am getting old. Never in my life did i stop to think i was, until i was forced to stop and think.

      My dad never found work after he was made redundant at 55 so i think I’m following in his footsteps.

      That is when it started to scare the C*&P out of me.

      My pensions are not bad, not brilliant but not bad. I have spent some time over these 3 years trying without success to find an IFA i am comfortable with. They are all happy to advise and be instructed and take a 1% annual fee for advising me on how to invest my Tax Free lump sum.

      The bit that scares me is that being a single guy without kids and next to no family is that i am now alone. Approaching 60 and needing to make plans that will effect me for the next 30,40 years and finding people to help is damn near impossible.

      • Reply by steve clifford

        Hi  My ADVICE IS TO REACH OUT TO OTHER SINGLE S i AM ALSO SINGLE  to see how they deal with being single into retirement  Its not all bad ..

        • Reply by Metroman

          Hi Steve. I already have life long and log term single male friends so that box is already ticked. Many of course are in the same position. One benefit not to be underrated is that being single is low cost and since my needs are very simple I’m on to a winner. Good luck to you.

    • Reply by CT

      I retired at 55 after the sudden death of my husband made me realise that I might not have as long left to do all the things I wanted to do as I’d thought. Since retiring my feet haven’t touched the ground. Prior to Covid 19 I was so busy. I joined lots of groups, have  met some interesting people and been on some fabulous trips. I’ve found that my natural rythmn is to stay up until the early hours and sleep in late, something I couldn’t do when I worked, which might explain why I was always tired.  I couldn’t even think of working now, I don’t have time and usually I’m not in the country long enough to even commit to anything regular on a voluntary basis.

    • Reply by chrisday_narca

      Hi folks

      When I was made redundant at 59yrs (9 years ago) I embraced the chance to finish – I had a great office job within the church. I decided that I would like to do voluntary work and was fortunate to find a local charity needing an office assistant.  It was daunting at first as I had to start at the bottom rung of the ladder – part-time to start.  I was with them 5 happy years until my husband retired and he then joined the charity for a year as well.


      During my time there I was able to gain teaching qualifications – (free educational place) – helped out with Riding for the Disabled and became a gym bunny.


      Since then we have moved house to the Lake District and are loving retirement. Lots of walking, socialising, gardening and trips away.


      I did also sign on at the Job Centre and looked for jobs until they stopped payments.  Found that we could afford to live on my husbands salary.  Best thing that ever happened to me.


      Don’t be frightened about finishing early – retiring – embrace it and start a new chapter – retirement is great.   Chris xx



      • Reply by Metroman

        Thanks chris. I was made redundant at 55 and have failed to secure a new paid position. I have also been procrastinating about my pensions because i have yet to find and adviser that will tell me what i want to know. But i may have another go at that soon.

    • Reply by godschild1957

      I cant wait! Money concerns aside, there is so much to do with all that extra time. All it needs is planning. I have deliberatly reduced my working hours so I can get used to having extra time, and how best to use it. I am planning to learn how to use the internet, apart from playing games and listening to music. I have been able to get more involved with my church. My garden has never looked lovelier. I try and have a structure to my day, ie: Breakfast, then dressing, read the paper and do the daily crossword. Listen to popmaster at 10.30 and try and answer the questions, all while having a cup of tea of course. Then i  read for a bit, I like to change the genre so the books stay interesting. Then its lunch. In the afternoon, go to the gym, meet up with friends, . Have a look in my recipe books and see what new recipe I can try  out. I am slowly finding out what my strengths and weeknesses are and try to find out the best ways to use them. I have been told I am patient and a good listener. I think that retirement is something to embrace, not be scared off. If you have a good think about your own lives, and how your skills could be used to help others. I am aware that many people have health issues, myself included, ( arthritis) but we can all still do something to benefit others. I,m not sure that my thoughts will be helpful, but I have read this wonderful book called Not Fade Away, How to thrive in retirement, by a lady called Celia Dodd.

      All the best

      • Reply by pinkgekko

        Fab-u-lous ! You are a natural.  It took me ages ( a year) to work out a structure for my day and to bring some semblance of cadence to the week.  However, I did go complete cold turkey and just stopped work.  Perhaps part time would have been a more managed exit 🙂

        Thanks for book recommendation.  I’ll check it out.

        best wishes


    • Reply by jaylucy

      At 62, if the government hadn’t changed the rules , I would have been retired!

      I was made redundant 5 years ago and since then, despite applying for I don’t know how many jobs, having one temp job for six months, where I was treated like an idiot, I am classed as unemployed – I have about another 5 years before I can officially retire.

      I don’t care what the so called experts say, the still is ageism rife in employment – the interviewer gets a look on their face when you walk in the room and your stomach sinks when you realise that it’s another useless interview – there is either no further contact from the company/agency or you get an excuse – the best being so far “we really were looking for someone that we can train up for long term employment”!

      So quite frankly, I will be glad when I can officially retire – the right to do what you want, when you want, leave the house (outside lock down) when you want to, not tied to a lap top for hours each day job searching  and not feeling that “Big Brother” is watching you before you get your benefit paid into your account!

    • Reply by Metroman

      I am 58, was made redundant A year after loosing my other and decided on counselling for both at the same time. Not a good idea.

      Since then the worse thing to happen is my callup for bowel cancer screening.

      I am still squatting in our family house and waiting for us siblings to agree an exit plan. After living together for nearly 60 years our relationship is always on/off/on/off.

      Given a choice between redundancy and ,y last job i would probably pick redundancy because it is less painful.

      My IT skills are decades out of date and i have just completed a boot camp to upskill in modern technology.


      Having said all that i have two years left to pay off my stamp and then there will be no point in signing on because the JCP will be of even less help that they are right now.

    • Reply by jim

      So pleased to read some really positive ways retirement is working out for many of you. I coach a number of people on planning for “retirement” though the word no longer adequately describes a new phase in our lives.Wonderful to have have the freedom to choose. in order to make the best choices and achieve a good balance I think you need to understand yourself. Think about what you really want, how you can best use your talents, what’s important to you and having some purpose. The things I find most commonly people fear is lack of structure, finance, loss of work colleagues/friends, loss of identity and a lack of purpose. Fortunately with some thought and planning all of these can nearly always be replaced.

      • Reply by pinkgekko

        Hi Jim, I am Angela and I too am a coach 🙂

        Since posting the original question about fears, Ive done a bit of research and absolutely agree with your summary of the common themes on fear of retirement. As mentioned by others on this thread is a fear of ill-health, of becoming less able and restricted because of physical limitiations.

        What Ive also found is that individuals are not actively planning for retirement other than reviewing the pension pot.  Employers don’t seem to be providing a ‘structured’ transition either.

        There is a definite unmet need for support of the pre-retirement group, especially those who want to take the step out of their current situation earlier than the state pension age…like I did.

        Are you in LinkedIn ? Perhaps we could connect ?



    • Reply by mogra172000

      I am 63years of age and was fortunate enough to be offered early retirement 9 years ago after nearly 35 years in social services. Of course I ran. Lol… I have never regretted it… I was so stressed tired and unhealthy physically and emotionally. I have since become a happier less stressed individual. I walk spend lots of time with my husband and friends I love my garden… I count my blessings everyday. The reason I took opportunity was as a result of losing 3 siblings ages 53 57 and 61 and my 2 parents all within the space of 6 years. They all worked hard all of their days and I decided I have the chance to live a better life. Thankfully I was in the position to do so….

    • Reply by kayeskey

      I am due to retire …early….next year. My biggest worry if the lack of stucture to my day/ week.  I love keeping  active so am sure will be able to keep busy. I do though know lots of people who retired and immediately became seriously unwell. I am planning part time work if possible in a less stressful role. Think that balance will be good for me. K


    • Reply by guard66

      I say don’t become a couch potato get out and about,use it or lose it.i Also Never Turn the T V on before 5pm .Good luck To All.

    • Reply by shelbea1909

      Interesting because I have taken voluntary redundancy, which coincides with retirement age. I needed to let go of the crutch called work and move into my next faze of life.

      • Reply by Anonymous User


    • Reply by Angelaaml

      I always thought I would be working well beyond my retirement age (due in 7yrs) and dreaded retirement so I can understand where some people are with that.

      But I’ve had a massive change of mindset since walking away from an abusive relationship I was in for 20yrs. Going through a divorce and having to look at my finances and plan my future it made me eager to finish working as soon as I can to explore and do all the things I wanted to do at a time when I was in a relationship where I would not be ‘allowed’ to anything that pleases me.

      Sadly my health has taken a decline and sought advice from a IFA who was very helpful  and gave me good news that it would be possible to work shorter hours and thankfully my employers have a flexible retirement scheme which I will explore in a couple of months. I’m looking forward to having more time for myself and not be ruled by timescales in a highly stressful job.

      • Reply by Metroman

        Congratulations on all that , i hope it all works out for you and you get a happy, safe and relaxing retirement. Yiou kinda insoire me to try  for an IFA again. I just need to think of the right questions to ask.

      • Reply by Anonymous User

        Firstly, well done you for extricating yourself from that unhealthy relationship. No mean feat! How wonderful that you now feel able to freely enjoy your life and fulfil your bucket list! I do hope your health improves so that you can fulfil your dreams! Good luck!

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