Home Forums Bereavement Dreams of the person you lost

Fool on the hill Posted 2 months ago
Dreams of the person you lost

My wife died of cancer at the end of May, less than a fortnight after diagnosis. After what I now realise was numbness for the first couple of months, it’s been quite a rocky time recently, which is to be expected, and I’m doing my best to get through.
I rarely dream, or rarely remember them at any rate, but dreamt last night that I was cooking, and turned away from the stove, turning back to find my wife there behind me. Short hair cut, and wearing a blue dress she never owned, but unmistakeably her. Woke up in shock (how you get shocked by something your brain has generated is another matter, but I digress).
I think I can guess most of the meaning, just wondered if anyone else had something like this, and how long it lasted. I’ve not slept well for a month or two, but this is a new development.

12 replies
    • Scaredofspiders 12th October 2021 at 1:48 pm

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly at the end of May too. Every night I dream that I can’t find something that I’ve lost, you don’t have to be Freud to work out that my brain is just looking for him, but it would be nice to have a night of restful sleep! Sending you lots of love at this sad time

      • Fool on the hill 12th October 2021 at 2:14 pm

        Thanks for replying, and thoughts with you dealing with your loss. I guess it’s only natural that our minds carry on processing and trying to make sense of something that just doesn’t, but just for a change, they might take a night off! Hope your brain can let you have some rest.

    • Linpap 12th October 2021 at 2:18 pm

      I am so sorry for your loss when my husband died unexpectedly I couldn’t sleep properly for months but it is getting easier now just over a year down the line…

    • Scaredofspiders 12th October 2021 at 2:50 pm

      Thank you and keep going! We will all get through this eventually I’m sure of it.

    • goldfish63 12th October 2021 at 4:34 pm

      I think it is all a part of the grieving and bereavement process, it will take a time to work through the process and it is different for each individual, you will be okay in time but let the feelings happen and deal with them as they come, you might benefit from some bereavement counselling 🙂

    • Curtis 17th October 2021 at 7:56 am

      The most awful time and how do we cope?? I lost my precious husband 14 months ago and have days when I struggle beyond words. the loneliness is toxic. So sorry for you Catherine

      • Fool on the hill 17th October 2021 at 3:22 pm

        Thanks Catherine, thoughts with you too. I think we all have those days, I’m fortunate that I have grown up children that still need help, to keep me going.

    • Amy 17th October 2021 at 5:43 pm

      I lost my husband last aug the lonelyness is awful my son has gone back to his flat and its so hard on my own after 38 years least thing makes me cry i know how yous all feel x

    • VFP 18th October 2021 at 12:34 pm

      So sorry for your loss and the pain you continue to suffer. My husband passed away in July 2020 five months after diagnosis and since then I lost my ability to sleep through the night, but I don’t let it bother me. I have started to feel much better since his memorial about a month ago, which was his delayed funeral (due to lockdown). Two nights ago I dreamt I was reaching up from my bed and embracing someone spirit like. When I woke up I knew that my dream was about hugging my husband. Comforting.

    • Fool on the hill 19th October 2021 at 6:24 am

      Thank you, glad to hear you’re starting to feel better now. I know I’ll come out the other side of this too, just have to keep on keeping on.