Home Forums Bereavement Does the pain and heartache ever really go away?x

GTR66 Posted 3 months ago
Does the pain and heartache ever really go away?x
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4 likes & 6 replies
    • loislane 3rd November 2021 at 10:56 am

      I don’t believe it does ever go away entirely but over time it eases so it becomes bearable enough for you to keep living.
      I’m sorry for your loss, it’s an awful situation for anyone.
      Sending you a big hug,xx

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    • M4ri3 4th November 2021 at 8:22 am

      How long has it been since your loss? Who did you lose? I hope you don’t mind me asking. I lost my husband 2 and a half years ago, my dad last year, my 17 year old brother years ago and my mum 19 years ago. All absolutely terrible losses and devastating at the time. I had my husband there for the first two helping me recover. The past two years have been the worst. My everyday life and my whole future was obliterated in just a few minutes. I’ve been ill from the trauma. To answer your question, for me, the pain doesn’t go away but with support, you do get better at managing it. I have come to accept that I need to stop blaming myself, stop being angry at everyone and everything and to be as positive as I can. I can be grateful now for what I do have my children my grandson, my friends and my health and my career. It all helps. You will find some peace, it just takes time. Try to pamper yourself a bit – I started having long showers to relax. Recently I’ve taken more care of my nails. It all helps you feel connected to the here and now. I do as much in nature as I can – walks, just watching the weather, appreciating the birds or clouds. X

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    • TmonT 4th November 2021 at 8:36 am

      It becomes different 😥

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    • AnnetteFM 4th November 2021 at 9:23 am

      So sorry you are feeling such a pain from your loss – the potency and immediacy of it becomes less and becomes interwoven into your life and who you are as you never really completely lose the person as they are such a part of you and who you are. I am sure you are reaching out to others for just comfort and support and I have found people particularly such as Julia Samuels on Instagram really helpful just for doses of help and encouragement and wisdom. She wrote Grief Works and This too Shall Pass and perhaps when you feel ready you could look at those as I know many have found them really helpful as they walk through grief. Be gentle on yourself and just give yourself lots of self-care and the things that you find soothe and ground you.

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    • Blackcat2 5th November 2021 at 9:06 pm

      I think your grief changes. It for me will never go away but I feel I am coping with it a bit better. It’s been nearly 17 months since my beloved died and I do have better days/weeks. I think it’s not about your grief getting smaller but you growing bigger around it and realising too sadness and happiness can live side by side in your life. You don’t need to be feeling one thing or another. X

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