Home Forums Bereavement Does anyone still……

Blackcat2 Posted 3 months ago
Does anyone still……

My beloved has been gone nearly 17 months but it still feels like a punch to the stomach when I remember that he’s not here physically on this earth anymore. I think of all the things we did together and then think how can this be possible. He was a force of nature. Big personality and so full of life. Does this ever get easier? X

2 likes & 12 replies
    • Buttercup19 26th October 2021 at 8:35 am

      Hi Blackcat2, I lost my husband 13 months ago and feel just like you and I hope it will get easier, I have a lot of supportive friends but everyone goes back to their normal lives after a while, if you use Facebook you may find this group helpful it’s only small but we are all in the same position and understand and you will find support & friendship

    • Junebug 26th October 2021 at 8:53 am

      Coming up for three years now since my lovely hubby passed away from the monster that is cancer.

      Cry most days. The pain is unbearable and sometimes I just think that I am existing and not living.

      • Keith D 26th October 2021 at 9:54 am

        Hi Junebug . What you are feeling is a nature reaction to your loss
        Have you had any support from a counsellor or friends,! As chatting about it and your feelings can help to make things feel less raw
        Hugs Keith x

    • Keith D 26th October 2021 at 9:51 am

      Hi i am sad to read of your loss.
      We all deal with our loss in our own way and time
      I found that over time i learned to cope with my wifes death, but even after a great many years , i still miss her , especially at birthdays and anniversaries.
      I hope that you have got lots of support from family and friends, as this can sometimes help you cope, if you want to talk and cry over your loved o
      Sending a virtual hug. Keith

    • Junebug 26th October 2021 at 11:10 am

      Thanks Keith for that.

      People are sympathetic to a point, but unless you have gone through this how can anyone know how you are feeling.

      Life goes on, the world keeps turning etc. etc. but we are left in the wilderness trying to navigate our way through this.

      Best wishes


    • Blackcat2 26th October 2021 at 12:27 pm

      Thank you all for replying. It’s much appreciated. I do Keith have really good family and friends supporting me but I do think Junebug you are right, if you have never lost your other half it’s difficult for them to truly understand how deep that loss goes and really just how much it affects you. I just take things a day at a time and some days or weeks are better than others. I’m hopeful with time I can build a life with my sadness and grief alongside some happy times too. Buttercups thank you for the Facebook link. I’m not on Facebook but am considering joining as there seems a really good support network out there.

      Thanks again and take care. X

    • Maryanne 26th October 2021 at 2:10 pm

      Life can get better I lost my mum and sister two years ago thou never lost my man of 30 year’s he left for another women i am strong and now got a caring loveing man to share my life with.

    • VFP 26th October 2021 at 2:28 pm

      I lost my husband around 16 months ago and the punch in the stomach left me with no energy at all. I have definitely improved and got much of my energy back. I try not to dwell on my huge loss and to focus on the future. I joined a dating site to try to find another amazing relationship but despite communicating with some very nice men, I keep on dodging away from any dates, which is annoying for me and the potential date. I also know that I should move to a smaller place, but this seems to be impossible for me to consider. I realise that I am still grieving and so I am trying to focus on my dog (my little friend), family, friends and work and to make no major decisions, at least not yet. Things have got easier for me, but the pain is so deep I think it will always be there so I just try to ignore it and make the best of my life which, despite everything, is pretty wonderful.

    • Amy 26th October 2021 at 6:51 pm

      I know how u feel i lost my husband last aug to cancer we eere together 38 years from ivwas 17 feel like whats the point of going on all our plans to travel grow old together are gone x

    • Blackcat2 26th October 2021 at 7:10 pm

      It’s just awful isn’t it and I’m so sorry for everyone’s loss too. It affects life in so many ways and that sadness encompasses everything. I hope that at some point for all of us there can be a bit of happiness alongside that sadness.

      Take care x

    • Jerry W 27th October 2021 at 8:21 pm

      Hello Blackcat2, I feel sorry for your loss. You are obviously still suffering and struggling to come to terms with this. I don’t know what words, if any, could give you comfort. I lost my wife (of nearly 30 years) just 2 years ago and still miss her loads. The only thing I want to share with you is some advice I was given. Basically it was that grief of hard loss is not something to try and get through / over but something you need to assimilate into your being. The sadness will always be with you but you will also experience joy again in time.

    • Blackcat2 27th October 2021 at 8:40 pm

      Hi Jerry, thank you for your advice. It’s much appreciated. I am having a bit of a better week and I do notice my grief changing as time moves forward. I just have days when the the sadness overwhelms everything but I feel myself able to come out of this dark pit a little better each time. I will carry my beloved in my heart forever so he will always be with me regardless of where life takes me. I am starting to realise too that happiness and sadness can live side by side, that it doesn’t need to be one feeling or the other. Grief is a rollercoaster so it’s good to have other people to chat to who understand.