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MikeyG Posted 4 months ago
Dealing with loneliness?

How do people deal with being alone, I live alone and don’t really have a social network, My children are older so have their own lives and they don’t live local to me anyway.
Since lockdown and the travel restrictions ive not been allowed by my company to travel at all ( before lockdown i was overseas most weeks)….so subsequently now working from my home as well, finding myself going stircrazy and this exacerbates the feeling of being alone, any advice or tips would be gratefully received.

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39 replies
    • Lost in life 25th September 2021 at 12:31 pm

      Hi,
      I’m in the same boat and it’s hard. I’ve been looking at night classes and fitness groups although not joined any yet. I get out walking the dog and chat to other dog walkers. I thought I might meet people on this site but there don’t seem to be any from East Yorkshire on here. Happy to chat to you any time.

      Reply
      • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 12:38 pm

        I dont have a dog or any pets, once international travel is allowed again i’m sure I will be heading overseas quite often so getting a pet is not really something I can do ( even though i’d love a dog), I tried the gym but found most people were quite focused and didnt really speak, and once i’ve finished work everyday im to mentally tired to want to go to an evening class but that said its worth looking into……

        Reply
        • Lost in life 25th September 2021 at 12:41 pm

          Put your location on and there may be others on here who you could meet up with. Have a look at ‘Meet Up’ too. I’ve found a social group on there that arrange activities.

          Reply
    • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 25th September 2021 at 1:32 pm

      I’ve now put my county in my name/profile, there is always someone to chat on here though

      Reply
      • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 1:38 pm

        Carmarthenshire, what a beautiful part of the country that is, There is a Rest Less page dedicated to West Yorkshire where I am but there are very very few posts on there

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        • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 25th September 2021 at 2:03 pm

          Thank you, yes, I enjoy it here too, I’m considering starting a virtual book club just to socialise, it’s difficult, I know but this forum is great to chat albeit online, I visited Haworth a few months ago, my first visit to Yorkshire, beautiful part of the world. You are blessed too
          I struggle with socialising as my friends are either involved with grandchildren or husbands, I have neither, this site is a god send at times
          Never a snarky comment too, Bonus 🤣

          Reply
        • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 2:10 pm

          Yes Yorkshire is also beautiful and as a photographer ( hobby ) its good to get out, I also have no grandchildren as my son (25) doesn’t want children & my daughter (20) is banned from having any yet lol

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        • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 25th September 2021 at 2:21 pm

          Haha
          My daughter age 30 seems to love dogs more than kids at the moment, she lives 3hrs drive from me
          So… you obviously miss the travel, I lived in Hong Kong for a while, you been there?

          Reply
        • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 2:27 pm

          No i’ve not been to Hong Kong as with have a team in Australia so its closer for them than me, My Dad was stationed there when he was in the RAF back in the 60’s, closest ive been was a layover in Beijing on route to east Russia, There isnt many places I havent been to or through, Italy is my favorite place, Mozambique was beautiful on the coast and I was lucky enough to experience the Northern Lights in Iceland during a work trip…..

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        • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 25th September 2021 at 2:37 pm

          My ambition is to see Northern Lights – lucky you !! and I was arrested in Mozambique in 1989 (long story) I love Africa and long to return, Nairobi next, if I’m lucky.
          I also spent a fab unexpected long weekend in Beijing.
          I have only been to Rome but love to see Pompeii
          Which parts are your favourite?

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        • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 2:42 pm

          I tend to go to the non-tourist areas, but my favorite part of Italy is Ferrara and Ravenna, I also spent a few days in Tuscany and that is beautiful

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        • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 25th September 2021 at 2:45 pm

          I’ll google them

          Reply
        • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 2:55 pm

          The first 3 photos on this collage is the Square in Ferrara, I used to finish work and just sit with a Latte and watch people, and the last 3 pjotos are the Hotel i was in while in Tuscany

          Reply
        • Debskidoo Carmarthenshire 25th September 2021 at 3:07 pm

          My word ! How beautiful ! No wonder you’re feeling a little lost at the moment

          People watching is the best hobby !!

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        • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 3:11 pm

          Ive also stayed in some places that weren’t so salubrious and some i haven’t felt at all safe (East Russia for one), but yes that was my life before Covid, away most weeks, always home at weekends though which was good.

          Watching people is great and so relaxing, especially in a beautiful Italian piazza

          Reply
        • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 3:56 pm

          I was lucky enough to go to Athens at the beginning of the month. I hope these cheer you up a bit:

          Reply
    • vaughanpauline 25th September 2021 at 1:33 pm

      It can be difficult but you have to force yourself to step outside your comfort zone and make new connections.

      Im going to private message you a zoom link to a Sunday night chat session Silver Friends are hosting tomorrow on 26 Oct at 18.30pm.

      Press the link and get to know some new people. We may even have an active face to face event near you, difficult withou know where you afe located.

      Our next face to face event is Leeds on Fri 1st Nov, if that is possible your more than welcome.

      We also have events up and coming in South Wales.

      If anyone else want a zoom invite or to join Silver Friends private Facebook group just message me.

      I hope this helps, its not easy to get rid of loneliness and it does take time.

      Reply
    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 3:49 pm

      Hi Mikey,
      It is tough. I was lucky during lockdown because my son was at home for most of it. He now lives away.
      I used to go out to work everyday for at least part of the day, but now I’m at home every day as my clients like being able to have their appointments in the comfort of there own home.
      I have to say that that weekends are the hardest, so I try to see friends on at least one day. I’m also hoping that I can return to choirs soon.
      Now that I know that I’m probably likely to be home based for the foreseeable future, I’m thinking about getting a dog…
      I have to say though that as time has gone by, I’m not so much lonely as bored with my own company🤣
      I think that the lack of clear delineation between work and home really hasn’t helped.
      So enough about me. How do you keep yourself busy?🌸

      Reply
      • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 3:53 pm

        Usually just busy with work, I have one friend that I will see usually on a Monday eve for a drink, but the rest of the time its either work, photography or just sat in front of the TV

        Reply
    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 4:04 pm

      What do you like to watch on TV.?
      I love any sort of crime drama/ mystery. I’m really enjoying Vigil atm.
      I don’t have a lot of time to watch TV during the week because I work until quite late, but I usually watch ‘guilty pleasure’ TV before bedtime… no nothing rude🤣 but I’m a sucker for MAFS and Love Island. My excuse is that it help me with my job.
      What type of photography do you like? I’ve recently started experimenting with film.🌸

      Reply
      • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 4:07 pm

        I’ll watch most things except reality type stuff and i dont do soaps, love a good documentary and the crime dramas.
        Been a photographer for a long time, usually landscapes / waterfalls really, but will photograph most things

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    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 4:10 pm

      Sounds good!
      What’s your most recent photo?

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    • EricaLovesFlowers 25th September 2021 at 4:58 pm

      That’s gorgeous! Where was it taken?

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      • MikeyG 25th September 2021 at 5:29 pm

        Was taken at a reservoir not far from me called Dovestones on the Peninnes

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        • Tickledpink 26th September 2021 at 10:48 am

          That’s a beautiful photograph.
          I’m pretty much in the same boat if it helps.
          I moved to Lincolnshire for a job just before lockdown so didn’t have the chance to make friends. I travel around for work so colleagues are at a distance too.
          The only family I have is my daughter who lives and works in Qatar so I don’t see much of her. I don’t have many close friends and they are far flung with all the moving I’ve done and of course travelling/visiting restrictions didn’t help.
          I have a cat but she’s more feral than cuddly 🙂
          I have just joined a Line Dancing class and a Pilates class which keeps me sane. And I walk a lot.
          I lived in Hull for 10 years – used to be East Yorkshire until they changed us to Humberside 🙂 I did love it there though.
          This site has been lovely to connect on. Just keep reaching out Mikey, it can make all the difference some days. 🙂 and keep meeting up with your friend on Mondays, that sounds positive.
          I haven’t found out how to access any other emojis so a smiley face is all I can send you.

          Reply
        • MikeyG 26th September 2021 at 11:09 am

          Thankyou, all helpful and encouraging……I dont even know how to do the smiley faces on here lol

          Reply
    • Starbright 26th September 2021 at 12:00 pm

      Hi Mikey,
      U3A has a lot of interesting talks and activities, should be a group near you. Also have you thought of Oddfellows? There should be a lodge/branch near you. They raise money for various charities. Details below – hope it helps, I have made a number of friends.
      Want to make new friends? The Oddfellows is a 200 year old Friendly Society with 350,000 members nationwide. Thousands of social events are held annually with currently 40 Zoom events weekly. The Oddfellows provides many membership benefits too. Open to all. Visit www’oddfellows.co.uk or contact Paul, the London Event Organiser at [email protected] or on 07851 910619.

      Reply
    • Starbright 26th September 2021 at 7:10 pm

      Good luck, hope things go well for you. September is Friendship month with Oddfellows my local branch/lodge are celebrating this Thursday with an afternoon tea party and we can invite people along. No obligation to join but if you do there are benefits e.g. discounts on holidays amongst other.

      Reply
    • Janbee 26th September 2021 at 8:55 pm

      I wish I knew how to deal with it. For me it’s the inconsistency of the people around me. My kids are around until I have nothing to offer or I relapse into poor health and then I feel I’m too much for them to bear. My husband is the same. So it’s a double whammy. Ill and alone. I fear getting older and needing help because I know noone will be there for me… And that’s the most honest I’ve been about things in a while

      Reply
      • MikeyG 26th September 2021 at 9:08 pm

        I can understand that, I live alone and have a heart condition and a dodgy back, so afraid i’ll slip away one night when im old ( i’m only 57 now) and no one will know, my children live away from me and have their own lives and I have no social circle to really speak of, one friend and he has his own life, wife kids etc

        Reply
        • Janbee 26th September 2021 at 9:26 pm

          It’s hard. I can be really positive and getting on well then suddenly get a migraine or neuro symptoms and I’m stopped in my tracks. It’s then that there’s noone around for me

          Reply
    • EricaLovesFlowers 26th September 2021 at 9:28 pm

      Janbee,
      Life is hard sometimes and I get how alone you feel even though your surrounded by people.
      Sometimes, the best thing to do is say ‘sod them’ and start building the life you want for yourself.
      Try to focus your attention I. You and what you want. Make yourself a mood board. Dream….
      If you dream it, you can achieve it.
      Sending hugs 🌸

      Reply
    • Smileyday 26th September 2021 at 10:25 pm

      Hi, I joined Meetup 3 years ago and never looked back. Wish I had found it years ago. Plenty of things to do with like minded people, download the app and take a look. Walks, coffee meets, meals out, cinema, theatre, golf , gigs, holidays, cards and games all with people who are single and alone. It’s a world wide organisation and in almost every town. It’s mainly free although obviously you would pay for meals etc. Some charge a yearly subscription as it costs to run a group through the app but I only pay £6 per year for my group . Good luck

      Reply
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