We are working on an idea with a national newspaper about a loneliness epidemic as lockdown restrictions lift.
How worried are you about an increase in your feelings of loneliness post-lockdown?
Why do you think your feelings of loneliness might suffer more?
What do you think could help to support you?
LeighS 4th June 2021 at 10:40 pm
Yes absolutely, I was struggling with it before lockdown and am concerned about it even more as we ease out of it. I should add this is despite having one of my sons living at home.
If I thought I had struggled to meet people in person due to some very complicated reasons, before lockdown, now I am wondering if I ever will have the confidence to do so. I have found that I can converse in the online world quite easily, but I need the confidence to get out in the world and actually meet people in person. Get out of my comfort zone for want of a better phrase.
What has helped me is being able to admit that it isn’t easy being lonely. Also being able to talk openly about loneliness in the community.
Tilliefun 16th June 2021 at 8:33 am
Yes definitely, I do not think I have the confidence to meet new people but hope I am wrong, I keep thinking I will start up a new friendship group with the local community maybe through the ‘next door’ app but I haven’t built up the nerve to do it yet, I don’t want another year of loneliness
Forestbather 16th June 2021 at 8:38 am
I am already noticing that others seem to have more stuff going on than me. Before lockdown I was very deeply involved with a sporting hobby but my relationship ended and I am adrift now of all those friends and events and sense of belonging. Unfair – but true. Now that things are starting up again, I can see how much others are enjoying getting back to “normal” while my “normal” no longer exists. I think the only answer is to put yourself out there and find new hobbies, and therefore build new friendships. It’s very tough on mental health and I have suffered enormously. Self esteem, confidence and self worth have been crushed.
LeighS 16th June 2021 at 10:38 pm
I have just been reading all the new comments on this thread and can relate to them all in one way or another. Being self-employed and working at home, I find it easier to work long hours than to think about being lonely.
The Rest Less community has helped me feel a little less lonely. I have no idea what the next few months will be like, but at least we are able to talk about loneliness which in my opinion is a huge step in the right direction.
AEB 19th June 2021 at 1:40 pm
My feeling of loneliness has increased over the last six months
Lost my husband just over two years ago and finding it very difficult to
get back to any sort of social life . I have a great family who keep an eye on me
but missing being with people my own age . I have no idea how to restart my
life now lockdown is easing and losing confidence . Much easier to bury
myself in books
Anonymous User (no longer active) 25th June 2021 at 12:09 pm
Ive just joined this site today and came across this post. I can mirror many peoples thoughts and feelings.
I live on my own and have no family; prior to Covid I had a few close friends and we did a lot together. But during the last few months we have drifted apart and only meet/contact occasionally. Theyve all recent retired in some form and get together during the week, but I work full time so cannot join in.
Ive lost my confidence in meeting people. Im trying to find classes or someting in my local area I can get involved in to meet new people.
I also work from home, rarely go into the office now, so I have many days where I dont see or speak to anyone. Its become a very lonely world
AEB 27th June 2021 at 3:53 pm
Hi Jackie welcome to the site
I also now live alone – have carried on working through lockdown but Retirement is looming up I have been looking into Voluntary work with the hope of meeting new people and also kick start a social life – have you thought
about volunteering in your spare time?
Anonymous User (no longer active) 4th July 2021 at 12:21 pm
Hi Ann, yes I looked into into a few volunteering options but they are either not taking anyone on, or want you during the week but I only have weekends available. A bit frustrating lol
Nosmadar71 28th June 2021 at 10:21 am
Yes, I have agoraphobia. Lockdown made me almost normal, the neighbours were around for a garden fence chat and other friends would come for walks around the park across the Rd as their exercise. Now people are back to their normal head down busy lives. I’m still locked in at home.
Jacq13 11th July 2021 at 11:02 am
I can relate to a lot of the comments made on this thread. It’s good that loneliness is being spoken about far more openly and not just in regards to pensioners as in the past (although that is so sad too).
I’ve noticed that there are these quite new ‘Mens Sheds’ groups that have sprung up over the last few years, I wish there was a female equivalent, something that doesn’t require a specific skillset or interest & costs little or nothing to attend, that would be ideal.
I work, although have been either fully or partially furloughed so have not been able to work much if at all.
I too struggled to get volunteering opportunities a few years ago but persevered & now volunteer for 2 different places. 1 of these have just started opening up again which is great, it’s only once every few weeks maybe but I can meet people & make a difference.
SallyinCheshire 28th August 2021 at 8:02 am
Has anyone tried Meet Up? My sister joined a few years ago and it’s been great for her. It’s based on the activity initially so tend to meet people who like the same things. She’s made some great friends and had brilliant experiences- cinema, theatre, holidays, skydiving!!
I’m still working fullytime and have teenagers at home, so pretty busy But still starting to feel lonely and think it does feel to be worse postpandemic. Can’t remember who I was or what I used to do! Everything is done virtually- work, gym.
JonW 29th August 2021 at 9:58 am
Reading these post and feeling lonely and lost whilst going through a divorce it does seem that there are a lot of us in the same situation.
I’ve been with the same partner 33 years and now feel only 1/2 what I used to be.
I have joined a site and met up with a few people, something I would never thought I could do. Yes it’s hard – very hard but once we met I realised she was more nervous than me.
If you can take your time and tell yourself you can do it – you never know. Good luck.
Always 30th August 2021 at 6:17 pm
Loneliness is not just about being alone I feel lonely most of the time despite being married and having a family. Before lockdown it was always low profile but now everyone is focused on it and talking about it. I’m afraid of what people will say if I admit to how I feel
Chi 31st August 2021 at 5:57 pm
Absolutely! I think most single folk will be going through the same feelings and anxieties. I am a medical professional and generally confident in most areas of life but I am happy to admit that (being single) lockdown actually gave me a sense of “normality” because everyone (single or in a relationship) was effectively put in the same boat. From reading around, it seems evident that many folk in relationships have actually struggled during lockdown, so quite a bizarre turning of the tables.
The “return of normality” and opening up has created a strange scenario whereby we almost feel compelled to “be normal” and “get out there” even if we did not do so before lockdown. Lots of social pressure and social media pressure…
I don’t have the answers yet…
lily49 2nd September 2021 at 11:56 am
As I am already~(long time !) ~retired,at first, the lockdown wasn’t too different to “normal routines”, inasmuch as we didn’t really “Do ” that much~ (no family few friends etc etc) ~but since “unlock down”,I don’t want to get back out there and get to close to folks, for all the obvious reasons.
I Have been to a few cafes to meet a pal, but it’s been outside seating,and I still don;’ feel relaxed about being inside close proximity to folks.
Is it Just Me who feels this?
Most others seem to have embraced the freedom, and are back doing all their usual activities with gay abandon,and seem to think we are a bit odd.
We have refused a few invitations to communal indoor activities, and I have decided Not to go back to a few clubs I used to run.
As we are not allowed to ask if folks have had their jabs ~(And you would;t know if they were being truthful, even if they Did answer )~ and folks seem to have lost the ability to be socially distanced, I feel that we are missing out.
So, yes, loneliness is still amongst us!
Gill C 23rd September 2021 at 6:58 am
I retired in November 2020 and with the Covid restrictions on top, I felt cut off from the world. All those empty feelings that tend to end up with ‘nobody loves me’ and feeling totally lonesome.
But over the past year I have gradually rebuilt a weekly timetable that connects me with a wide range of people. I am volunteering at the food bank, the library, a bookshop, and at parkrun. I attend online or IRL a recorder group, an art session, an evening class. I like “live” on YouTube Pilates even watching after the event – I enjoy the chat!
I also have an active religious life as a Buddhist.
However, there are still sometimes long chunks of time when I feel lonely. I read, knit, clean the house, go on Facebook, use WhatsApp etc. Quite often I’m in bed before 9pm reading. It’s a constantly evolving thing…. noticing the spaces and feelings and searching for the thing that will fill that space.
23rd September 2021 at 4:30 pm
Yes I am. I went into lockdown after losing my job in which I had been bullied. My 2 daughters had both left home within weeks of each other in late 2019. I almost felt more normal during lockdown as no-one saw anyone and I felt normal. Now lockdowns ended I feel more alone than ever when I see people meeting up with friends etc. Been really unlucky with friends and wider family moving away over the years.