I think it’s very important to tell the truth in an interview. No employer wants to offer someone a job and find out later on that they lied about their skills or experience. In terms of whether you’re the right person for the company and they’re right for you, an interview is a 2-way process, and there’s no point pretending that you think you’d be happy there, if you truly believe you wouldn’t.
You’re half way there if you know where you’re going wrong. In my career I’ve interviewed 100s of people and given feedback to unsuccessful candidates. I found many people are not as self-aware as you are, and couldn’t see the mistakes they’d made. Not many people enjoy the interview process, but if you look at it as a means to an end, then you can get in the right mindset to think of ways to adjust the way you approach it so you don’t make the same mistakes next time.
I’m not sure what you mean about pandering to what the interviewers want to hear. My experience of interviewing was that I wanted to hear more from the candidate to give me a deeper understanding of their skills and experience. To put more details behind the words on the page in their CV or application forms, and help me decide if they were the right person for the job.
I hope this helps.
Maria