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  • Addiction to gaming

    Hi, my 22 year old stepson is totally addicted to playing computer games and is now either playing all day and all night or sleeping in his chair in front of his computer. He left school 6 years ago and has only had 4 part time/casual jobs, he has really spent more time and effort avoiding work than actually doing any. He does not keep the room clean in fact he just dumps his rubbish on the floor, he has no respect for us, our house or himself. We just wish he would get up go out and get a job and a life.

    We have spoken to him “very calmly” on many occasions about what he is missing in life and he hints that he will change but then just carries on in the same way.

    He has absolutely nothing apart from his computer, no friends, no money, no car, no job, no interests, no nice clothes, NO NOTHING.

    This way of life is having effect on our health and lifestyle, we are really at the end of our tether as the saying goes.

    One of the issues is that he is my wife’s youngest of 4 boys and she does still stand up for and protect him at times, she still cooks for him, fetches his plates to put in the dishwasher, does some of his washing and has been paying off his debts of over £4,000 in the last 2 years.

    This is a very serious post, does anyone have similar experience and what did you do ?

    We can’t seem to get any professional help as he does not see there is a problem.

    Thanks for reading.

    Posted by Stuegie
Viewing 2 reply threads
    • Reply by Luisa

      Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your predicament with your stepson. From what you are saying I believe that he has an addiction to computer games. I suggest that you get in touch with the charity young minds www.youngminds.org.uk as they may be able to help, also seek help by talking to your GP. I wish you all the best.

      • Reply by Stuegie

        Hi Luisa, thanks for your message.

        We have been in touch with the GP and our local social services but as he is over 18 they need him to talk to them and he just won’t admit he has any problems.

        Cheers

         

        • Reply by Luisa

          Hi, I understand fully, the biggest problem comes when they believe they are not having a problem. My partner suffers from depression but will not seek medical help.

          Again try young minds as they may support you in how to deal with this issue and how to deal with him and make him understand that he reds help.

          best wishes for all

    • Reply by Val

      Hi, I feel for you in your predicament and can say with experience of similar situations that there is usually light at the end of the tunnel, although at times it may feel very distant.  You don’t say whether or not he is receiving Jobseeker’s Allowance (and at the moment this may not be of much use anyway) but insisting my son attended in person was the turning point in his life.  Previously he was “wasting” his early years with similar road path to your stepson, but he was coached and encouraged via the job centre and was eventually offered a job in website development by a young progressive company. He has never looked back! He has since, travelled the world, met the love of his life, and is now settled with a good job and a young family who he provides very well for.  If someone had told me that this would be his future (at 21) I would never have believed it.  My parting shot to you is to remain hopeful and never give up, some young men just take a longer time to find their path in life.

      • Reply by Stuegie

        Hi Val, thanks for your message.

        Yes we just keep hoping that “the light will come on” one day. We have 6 boys between us and the other 5 all have decent jobs, partners and their own houses, but he is just not interested in anything like that.

        Cheers

    • Reply by Sue

      Poor you it must be awful but I can say as a mother of thee boys you won’t come between your wife and her son. I had problems with my youngest but luckily he grow out of it and went on to have a successful career as a police officer. You will just have to grit your teeth and wait until either he or your wife changes the situation. Good luck

      • Reply by Stuegie

        Hi Sue,

        Thanks for your reply we are sure many people are in the same situation and we “hope” that 1 day the lights will go on and he will decide to do something, but 6 years is a long time to waste.

         

         

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