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Reply by paul.rwilliams

Hi Debra,

thanks for your reply. Yes I will check out your website and what a great idea. Maybe self promotion is the way to go although filtering undesirables will be more hard work. I’ve given up now on internet dating as the only ones who benefit from them are the owners creaming the money off poor singletons.

Have you read the reply from Robert as he hits the nail on the head. 20 years ago I went to work down South and knew very few people down there. I remember initially it was a very lonely time for me but I was 30 then. I read a great book by Dr David Burns called ‘Intimate Connections’, ok it sounds a bit dodgy but actually it is really useful for singles. It focuses on being happy with yourself first and feeling comfortable being single by concentrating on yourself (ie. build a social life, hobbies, interests etc..). The product of this is that you will naturally start to attract people. I think this is the way to go.

Internet dating is horrendous and there are some horrible sites out there (POF, Tinder.. etc). I’ve only had one date and it turned out to be more like an interrogation. I was looking forward to a nice drink and chat but the lady I met was completely focussed on picking holes in my history. I am certainly not a liar and very open and honest, probably to my detriment. At the end of over 2 hours of this she said she would be happy to meet again. I then got a text saying that she had changed her mind and I wasn’t for her. The only piece of salient information she gave me was that her ex had done a runner on her with another woman. Maybe she had done me a favour? I was left bewildered by the experience.

Another woman who I didn’t get to meet but spoke to over the phone again seemed to interrogate me rather than just chat. I found out that her profile name was not her real name. Her reason for this was that she had caught her ex cheating online and had gone ‘undercover’ to find him out…

As a man I regularly see ‘one last try’ or ‘here we go again’ on women’s profiles. I have been told by women that a lot of men are just looking for ONS or sex. As a man I can say I have never experienced women doing this.

Robert is right in saying that women get far more messages than men to deal with. That is a shame as the good ones get lost or overlooked.

Good luck with you website. If I can be of any further help then please get in touch.