Home Forums Local Groups Scotland North East Scotland My husband died 12 months ago and I seemed to be coping quite well but now I am back at square one – crying over nothing and wondering whether I can go on Is this normal? Reply To: My husband died 12 months ago and I seemed to be coping quite well but now I am back at square one – crying over nothing and wondering whether I can go on Is this normal?

Reply by Helen Burns

As a society, we have a strange notion of what ‘doing well’ is when it comes to grieving our loved ones. Grief is neither static nor linear, yet we’re asked to measure our progress in time – telling ourselves we ‘should be’ a certain way after a particular time period has passed. Like the tides, our grief ebbs and flows, each tide offering something new.

I would encourage you to speak to one of the charities who support the bereaved. Cruse Scotland can be contacted on 0845 600 2227 from 9am to 8pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 4pm on Fridays (the calls cost 5p per minute). They also have a website, with a webchat facility: http://www.crusescotland.org.uk/. There is also the National Association for Widows (for men and women). Their website is http://www.nawidows.org.uk. Speaking to someone and finding support and reassurance that it is absolutely normal, and that everyone’s normal is different, may ease some of your distress around your distress.

Wishing you well.