Are you with your partner looking after your in-laws? Genuine people are not easy to find and please continue being yourself with not trying to fit in or please others, as you will feel more lost in your identity and personality also feel miserable. It seems you are living in the South East and was surprised what people told you regarding emotions which is sad and know my personality would not connect well in the South East and have some brief experience of the South East. You are doing so much in being friendly and if I lived closer would certainly enjoy meeting you for a chat and drink as you seem an open minded friendly person. Thinking now more about your options and interests also during this pandemic realise it is going to be restricting in some aspects. I am also trying to seek friendships as recently moved back to a previous small town area that I lived in, but not that great in resources and would like more socialising hopefully though volunteering opportunities, which are on hold during this pandemic, as my work is very solitary and a carer. There are some befriending schemes which will be more phone calls at present and pending age though Age Uk have one now for 50 plus also a social prescriber can tell you about groups in your area via the GP surgery. Been trying for over 2 weeks to have a call from the social prescriber and now she is on leave until 10th.